My glamourous, glamourous* life.

*I also spell catalogue like that.

In the past 48 hours I have...

...cleaned up cat barf.

...cleaned up toddler pee off the kitchen chair. (It's not made of a permeable material, so it was an easy clean up. But still...)

...scooped the litter box.

...cleaned out my pantry and discovered things in there that expired in 2004.

...plucked my chin hairs.

...put away the messy DVD stack that had taken up semi-permanent residence on top of my entertainment center and discovered that I own at least 9 movies I've never seen.

...pulled weeds. Oh, correction: Pulled yard. That's right folks: my entire yard--save a few square feet--is weeds.

--spent $48 dollars online shopping for shit I absolutely do not need.

--lost about $4,500 in the stock market.

--realized that, holyfuckingshit, tomorrow it's already March.

--cleaned toddler pee off of my only living room chair. And this chair, my friends, is made of permeable/non-cleanable material.

--had to call my mother to talk me down off the ledge after I discovered toddler pee on my only living room chair.

--spent the last of my iTunes gift certificate I got for my birthday on shit like The Eagles and The Mamas and the Papas. (Thanks again, Jimmy!)

--fantasized about the perfect martini.

--gotten pissed off about concerts that friends are getting to go to that I'm not (The Police, The Shins, Justin Timberlake)

And right now:

--eating leftover tuna salad right out of the bowl on melba toast.

--blogging while eating said tuna salad.

It doesn't get much sexier than Karla May (tm). (Yep, I'm going to trade mark that. T-shirts will soon be available here. Stay tuned!!)