Job anxiety blues.

Well, regular readers, as you know, my team has been "bossless" since late January. There was all this crapola going on that put the leader search on hold, but now they're getting ready to post the Team Leader's job and your little ol' Karla May is going to throw her proverbial hat in the ring for the gig. Gulp.

Okay, a couple of things:

I've been with this company 6.5 years, which is over 3 times longer than I've ever worked anywhere ever. I mean the longest I'd ever stayed anywhere prior to coming to work at the Current Company (CC) was 2 years. I always left on my own volition. I've never been fired. I would just get bored or move or something. The whole reason I'm telling you this is because CC has been a place where I've wanted to "build a career" since the day I was hired.

During the 6.5 years I've been at CC, I've had 4 different positions and moved offices 6 times. I'm used to a helluva lot of change, and I've learned a LOT during my time there. I feel--finally--that I'm ready for a leadership position. All of the things I've experienced over the past 3 or so years both professionally and personally have matured me and thickened my skin. I've become more pragmatic and more astute from a business perspective. The time has come, people.

Since the departure of our former team leader (and really, to a large extent prior to her rather spectacular implosion and departure), I have been the defacto and/or acting team leader. It's put me in awkward positions at time, but I have really taken the opportunity to use it as training wheels, and I've (once again) learned a lot, and I think I've done a pretty good job.

So here I stand at the ledge, about to jump into the consideration process, which at CC, is a pretty damn intimidating prospect. Here's why:

I've never officially been a "boss" (although I'm plenty bossy, just ask anyone), so I'm lacking that experience on paper.

I haven't updated my resume since early 2003, and I've got done a LOT since then. But WHAT all I've done, I can't exactly remember. So there's that.

And then the interview prep process at CC and then the actual interviews themselves (done in front of a firing squad--I mean, panel--of at least 10 people, including some company Big Wigs) are notoriously brutal. But hey: if you emerge as the candidate of choice after the process is complete you've fucking earned it, and there's a certain amount of respect that comes with that.

But if this thing happens--and now I'm really hoping that it does--I think it will force me to grow and challenge me in ways I can't yet imagine. And those are the aspects of a job that keep it interesting and make you stay there. Also, I think the financial boost would make my life as a single mom of Her Royal Highness, The Geej a bit easier. Right now, every single cent I get paid every two weeks is spoken for. Granted, I'm very practical and tend to squirrel away quite a bit of my earnings (a very large part of my gross pay goes into my 401k, our stock purchase plan, my ROTH IRA, a 529 account for the Geej's college, my savings account, my dependent care reimbursement account, my healthcare reimbursement account, etc.), but still... If I got this job, I would be able to hire a maid to come every couple of weeks and help me do all the stuff that is damn near impossible to do with an almost 2 year old in your care. The thought of that makes me practically orgasmic. And I'd be able to put even more toward my ROTH IRA, Geej's college fund, etc.

So yeah. Prepare to read a lot about this whole ordeal during the next few weeks. And I tell you what: If I get this job, champagne's on me.