Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I'm still sick, and our government is still stupid.

Hack. Cough. Groan.

I swear, I would go to the doctor. I would. But my GP said it would be NEXT Thursday before they could get me in. And I'm too impatient to go to a doc-in-the-box. I have a fear that my doctor would look like this:"Hi everybody!"

And why do I want to get well anyway? What's more appealing than hearing someone coughing like they're about to cough up a Mini Cooper? Nothing.

Just in case you'd dozed off, and forgotten that our country is run by a bunch of morons, may I refer you to this article: "Pentagon memo: Homosexuality is a disorder." You know, like mental retardation. Seriously. Seriously! WTF is wrong with the leadership of this country? Do the White Men who run it not know one single gay dude or chick? I mean, you're born gay, or you're not. It's like having blue eyes or brown. It's just part of who you are, not a disorder. Ugh.

Well, the ongoing saga of "Curse of the Wandering Toddler," has (temporarily) been put on hold. We're doing a new bedtime ritual that includes going to bed about 30 minutes later than she used to and lots and LOTS of pre-bed talking about going night-night, and it seems to be working. For now. If not, La Turista suggested I zip her monkey ass up in this here baby tent. I guess that beats velcro-ing her to the bed sheets...

Alright, time to fold the laundry, take a shower, shave my legs, clean the tubs, give the Old Cat her meds, and dose myself with NyQuil. Again.



Mama Malcontent said...

According to lore, my parents used a volleyball net over my crib with me along with a padlock on the frig. Worked like a charm, so I'm told.

Badger said...

Yeah, but if you went to the doc-in-the-box they might give you Tussionex, aka LIQUID GOLD. Ask for it by name! And if you decide you don't want it, you can give it to me! Or slip a little to the Geej; it'll nip that nighttime waking/wandering thing right in the bud!

(Okay, I don't REALLY endorse doping toddlers up with codeine. Not every night, anyway.)

Mommygoth said...

Oh god, I'm dreading the wandering toddler myself. Miss K is just now starting to look interested in her escape options - I'm afraid she's going to make a rope out of Elmo, Big Bird and the blankie, and win her freedom. I hear duct tape works wonders.......

Mags said...

I have one of those tents, if you want it. They're like $65 new, so it's totally worth getting a used one.

True story: A friend of mine has a toddler that was climbing out of bed (same age as Younger Girl). So, they bought the crib tent, which worked for a while...UNTIL, the savvy child realized that if she emptied her diaper contents, and finger-painted with them all over the crib tent, that it would be removed promptly! (And, I absolutely adore that child. Two years old, and has hardcore bitch attitude for DAYS.)

My younger one was not that creative, however, and my tent's all clean. We're just in our "big girl bed" now.