Tuesday, February 07, 2006

My eyes! My eyes!

I've written before about how much I loathe this motherfucker:

GoddamnedmotherfuckingTobyfuckingI'maFordtruckmanKeith.

Anyhoo, I'm channel surfing last night, and I run across a video of his, and I nearly puked. He's gotten on the Kenny Chesney bandwagon (which in and of itself is pathetic enough) and done a song about Mexico, and the chorus is, "What happens in Mexico, stays in Mexico." Gee, Toby. THAT'S fucking original. Ugh.

The video was one of those TOTALLY literal, completely unimaginative pieces of shit where there are people acting out the totally literal retarded lyrics while Toby hovers in the background, smirking, smoking a cigar...lounging on a hammock with two braindead bimbos. I'm getting queasy just thinking about it.

I don't hate many people, but him? Him I hate. And our President. And Karl Rove. That guy's a fucking dick. Speaking of dick, I hate Dick Cheney too. And Rumsfeld. Oh, and Celine Dion. She needs to choke on some horsefeed. And Paris Fucking Hilton. I wish she'd get a flesh-eating STD. And...

I guess I DO hate a lot of people. But TobyfuckingKeith--and everything he stands for--is at the top of the whole steaming pile of 'em.

Grrr...

*I have been asked by a blog commentor to explain my extreme anti-Toby stance. Well, here's the deal: More than the man himself, I hate what he stands for. To me, he's the embodiment of dumb, let's go kick some Iraqi ass, no-talent, redneck, overgrown fratboy, play to the lowest common denominator, think they're God's gift to women, knucklehead dickweeds. Think "Larry the Cable Guy," but with a guitar and an endorsement deal with Ford. Plus, he also stands for everything that's wrong with "country" music today.

6 comments:

Shazza said...

TOBY GET ON THE FUCKING PLANE!!!

and Katie Couric, you too!

laura said...

I've heard other people talk about their white hot hate for Toby Keith, and not being any kind of a country music listener or really following any of those folks, I'm just curious why you hate him. I wanna get in on it.

laura said...

I mean, I can see the lame song, and the stupid video and the cigar and the smirk. But don't a lot of them do that? Is he just more that way than other redneck country types? Or is he perhaps the standard bearer for redneck country types? I need to know! And now I'll quit hogging your comments.

amamgets said...

The man puts a SOCK in his jeans-- he is a major loser. Enough said. You had me at the hammock and two bimbos.

May I add Rush 'no dick' Limbaugh to your list? AGHHHHH!!!

laura said...

I get it now. I figured he was a major tool, but I didn't know if there was more to it. He's a tool's tool. Thanks for 'splaining.

gatling gun said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hey, beer doesn't taste as good coming out my nose!

I hate Toby, W, Dick, Rush, Karl, Rumsfeld, Paris, who else? Oh and what's-her-face, Condoliz/sa Rice (I don't know how girlfriend spells that name of her's). Oh, and I also hate country music and Ford trucks.