Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to downfall of civilization and about 1,000 steps backward for feminism: the My Bling Bling dolls. Because I guess the goddamned Bratz weren't trashy and slutty enough... Now you have this:
And this: The manufacturer review on the Amazon.com site has the balls to say the following: "The My Scene My Bling Bling dolls are all blinged out and ready to party! Each doll is dripping in faux diamonds and faux jewel-encrusted clothing from head to toe. Each doll comes with a hot outfit, a glamorous side fashion, and tons of bling-themed piece count like a fun purse, a cell phone, and make-up. Each doll comes with a totally sparkly bling ring for the girl! "
Ready to party?!! More like, ready for her amateur porn debut.
Barbie had Ken. I wonder if the "My Bling Bling" hos come with "Twitchin' Jimmy, The Angry Pimp." I can see it now: instead of the 3 story townhouse that my 70s-era Barbie had, I bet they come up with the "V.I.P. Room, complete with Cristal and Rohypnol" set. Instead of the Corvette, these bitches roll in the H2 with phat 32" platinum spinners.
My Bling Bling Barbie, now: With "Brazilian Waxing Kit!!"
I bet her cell phone has the STD clinic on speed dial, and don't you just know her coochie is pierced.
I am really, really disturbed people. I can see fucking Britney Spears buying this for her kidz, but who the hell else thinks this is okay to buy for their daughters?
Stare into the cold, dead eyes of horror:Barbie! Get thee to a nunnery!!