Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Beyond ridiculous.

I was channel surfing last night and the godawful Billboard Music Awards were on. They were about to cut to commercial, and the announcer tease said something like this: "Coming up...the Century Award presentation to Tom Petty...R. Kelly performs...and the announcement of the T. Mobile Ring Tone of the Year award." What the HELL?! "Ringtone of the Year?" Am I just getting really, really old or is that the most asinine thing you've heard of lately? And I'll give you a dollar if you can guess who one of the show's major sponsors was...

That's right: T. Mobile! Your dollar's in the mail.

And while we're talking stupid t.v., one of the best written, well-acted, original shows in years, "Arrested Development," is officially getting cancelled while shit like "According to Jim" carries on. Hollywood is so fucked up. Thank goodness for "The Office" and "My Name is Earl." Although "The Office" isn't exactly original as a premise, the show has come in to its own and is pretty damn funny. Dwight KILLS me. "My Name is Earl" IS original and just simply a good time. Plus, I have a special place in my heart for Earls in general as many of you may already know.

Finally, I just want to say HALLELUJAH that "The Real World: Austin" has finally breathed its last vomit-tinged breath. What a lame, lame, LAME season. I mean, "The Real World" as a concept jumped the shark a loooooooooong time ago. But I felt like I had to watch this season since it was filmed here and all. God, what I wouldn't give for those hours of my life back... The "Housemates" were idiots. Wait. That's too kind. Let's see...they were about as interesting as underwear stains and half as fun. If this bunch represent what college kids are like these days, then I'd like to set off a bomb to destroy the entire self-centered, sex-starved, ill-informed, lazy, belligerent, System-of-a-Down-loving, drunkass lot of them.

Austin is a cool city with lots to see and do. But the only places they ever went to were the lamest bars (The Dizzy Rooster and Treasure Island) and restaurants (Chipoltle and Paradise) on 6th Street. Hey Real Worlders: Austin is more than one city block! You stupid, insipid fucks.

So why did I watch if I hated them so much? Car crash, baby. Car crash. Once I started watching, I couldn't look away. I wanted Wes to get kicked in the teeth while flashing one of his shit-eating grins or sent to jail for date rape and, while in jail, becoming some big dude named Spud's bitch. I wanted Johanna to get a flesh eating STD. I wanted Neamiah to get his nuts caught in a vice. And Melinda and Danny? I was hoping for a murder/suicide type thing. But alas, no such luck. Instead, I got my mind rotted by all of the immature, spoiled, hyper-dramatic bullshit one could possibly pack into 1/2 hour increments. I am so ashamed...

4 comments:

Badger said...

This was the first and only season of The Real World that I ever watched. And I can't believe how bad it sucked. Like, "sucked" doesn't even begin to describe it. I hate them all and I hope they die.

el escot said...

Carla..Damn I mis you

NBIGO said...

One nice thing about the numbnut P.O.S.'es they had on Real World Austin (whew--were they ever!) is that they made Austin look more like Paris than Vegas. The Vegas series was the last that worked. Go figure. Vegas was built on generic American loser kids getting their rocks off. Austin takes brains. Like Paris. The Paris season became unbearable because all those loser Americanoids did was whine, play pool and get wasted at home. No wonder the Parisians could give a shit about em. I say rock on Paris. As for Austin, I say Give em Hell Angelina!

amamgets said...

Wes' new daddy Spud has to have a mullet. Please, can he have a mullet? And a really hairy back? And maybe something like only one ball, so he's got a lot to prove.