Today, tomorrow, and the next day.

Today is Halloween.

Boo, y'all.

I will rustle up my little goblin, go to friend's house, put goblin in her costume, go trick-or-treating with goblin and her little goblin buddies. Go home. Wrestle candy from goblin. Put goblin to bed.

***

Tomorrow I fly to Colorado.

Mr. Wonderful picks me up at the airport and we go to his town, 2+ hours away. We hang out with his friends and kiddos.

***

The next day, we move.

That's right: on Saturday, we (me, Mr. Wonderful, his dog Shiloh and his leopard gecko Leo) pile in the U-Haul and head for Austin.

He's moving here. He's moving in. Oh. My. God.

Everything's about to change. Wish us luck, people.

One of my proudest moments as a mom:

This past Saturday, Geej and I were shopping at a very-crowded Whole Foods. When we were going down the frozen aisle, she asked, "Can we have some poppin' peas?" (That's what she calls edamame, which she loves, by the way.) I told her we already had some at home. She then said, "Can we have some Brussels sprouts?" I told her, again, that we already had some at home. To which she replied, "No we don't! We need Brussels sprouts! We need Brussels sprouts! WE NEED BRUSSELS SPROUTS!" The chanting continued for about 2 minutes. Long enough for several moms to glance enviously my way.

That's my girl!!

We need glitter, STAT!!

Tonight, the Malcontent Mama was nice enough to host the first semi-occasional "Breed 'Em and Weep Supper Club/Support Group" gathering at her family's house. And what a perfect gathering it was! It was a potluck, so I made a very aromatic and hearty vegan Spiced Lentil Stew. The main course was brisket (thanks, but no), but there were plenty of other offerings for those of us who don't do cow.

The weather was perfect for outdoor play and dining. And it was such a treat to see the Geej just go off on her own to hang with her friends and do her own things. It was cool.

Major case in point: Geej and Annie O (Malcontent's offspring) set up a M.A.S.H. unit type hospital thing in the master bedroom, and informed us that they were... (cue 70s cop-show inspired theme music) Princess Doctors!!

Check those chicks out!! They are focused on the mission at hand: take care of the babies, and be princess-y and fashion forward at the same time. Awesome.

And here they are administering care to a very special patient...right before they had to go do princess-type stuff, involving crowns and whatnot.

Man, I'm glad this field of medical practice has opened up. It's long overdue, and I'm proud to have my daughter be in the first generation of P.D's.

OHMYGODIHAVETHECUTESTKIDSINTHEWORLD!!!

By "kids" in the plural, I mean of course Geej AND Earl. He's a big effing baby, and I love him, so technically he's my "kid" even though he's covered in fur and has been known to lick his own privates.

Proof #1: The Geej

Taken at a little Halloween carnival thingie we went to today. Notice: That's NOT Sally with her. I actually convinced her to bring a second-tier baby (named "Pumpkin" appropriately enough) with us since Sally's so big and hard to carry. You want some more proof? Okay, if you insist...

Dudes, she was LOVING that lollipop. She's so obsessed with candy, that I'm actually terrified of the whole trick-or-treating thing. She's going to lose her mind.

One more: Geej climbing up the ladder to the slide.

ARGGGH!! The cuteness!!


Proof #2: Earl sleeping with his tongue sticking out:

He does this kind of a lot. You can touch the sticky-out part of his tongue, and it's as dry as paper. And then he just opens his eyes and looks at you all drowsy and starts purring...with his tongue sticking out. Cute as hell.


That is all. More tomorrow.

I'm sorry.

For those of you who subscribe to this blog on Bloglines or by RSS feed or whatever (and God bless you, by the way), I know you just got a BUNCH of updated stuff. That's because I felt the urge to go and clean my blog of all my references to my kiddo's name (of which there were several). So I apologize for all of the update notices you're going to get. I just got started, and couldn't stop.

To subdue your rage, here's a lovely nature photo I recently took in Boulder, CO:

See? Isn't that pretty? Don't you feel better?

Clearly, he never earned his "Camping" badge in Scouts.

If he had, then perhaps he would know to sleep IN the tent rather than UNDER the tent.

Sigh...

The Post of the Beast.

Yes people, this is post Number 666. That means it's only appropriate to share these with you:


Holy Mayflower! Who the HELL would spend $300 on these "Harvest Greeters"?! If I drove up to a house to have Thanksgiving dinner, and these two were standing in the front yard, I'd just keep on driving until I found the nearest Luby's. I have no idea how I ended up on this mailing list. Must be the work of Satan.


Speaking of Satan, how 'bout those wildfires in Southern California? Damn, y'all. If it's not earthquakes and mudslides, it's wildfires, killer traffic jams, outrageous real estate prices, and Britney Spears. I do not envy the people in SoCal. But that doesn't mean I want them to move here. We're all full up.


On a lighter note, I'm pretty sure that The Dark One had little to do with our SPECTACULAR fall (finally!) weather here today. Simply amazingly crisp and clear and perfect.

Other things that I'm currently loving:

• "America's Most Smartest Model" on VH-1. I LIVE for t.v. like this.
• Kiss My Face "C's The Day" body moisturizer
• Honeycrisp apples
• Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell. It's comedy and American History all rolled into one. What's not to love?
• Celestial Seasonings "Tension Tamer" tea
• Koriente
• My Pure Beech 100% Modal Jersey sheets
• The 19 year old pajamas I'm wearing

That's all I got, fools. Got to go rendezvous with Ms. Vowell and call it a day.

One of my favorite signs in Austin.

Next to the playscape at Freddie's Place on south First:


Unfortunately, there wasn't a Gypsy in sight when the Geej decided to throw rocks AND throw a major "I don't want to leave yet" tantrum when it was time to go.

Cat Biscuits Explained and Other Stuff

"Cat Biscuits" are not cat farts. One advantage that cats have over dogs as a pet is that they are rarely gassy. And we all know how lethal dog farts can be... Cat biscuits are when a cat is all blissed out and kneads its paws on you or whatever happens to be within reach as if kneading dough or--you guessed it--making biscuits. This is a behavior that harkens back to when they used the same paw motion as kittens, kneading their mother's tummy while nursing. So now you know.


I'm really sorry I haven't been posting more. I'm just tired and uninspired. You know how it goes... Sometimes you've got the blog mojo, sometimes you don't.


This week was super busy (as I mentioned), and the coming week promises more of the same. I did manage to go see a kick ass show this week at La Zona Rosa: The Tragically Hip, who happen to be one of my top five all time favorite bands. This was either the 7th or 8th time I've seen them live, but it has been a few years. It was great to see they're still as awesome live as I remembered. And Gordon Downie is simply one of the best front men out there. Period. The only thing that bugs me about Hip shows are all of the douchebags in hockey jerseys. Yeah, yeah, I get it: the band's from Canada, and you're wearing a hockey jersey, and Canadians love hockey...so that means you're like an EXTRA big fan. Ugh. It would be like me showing up for a Willie Nelson show all tricked out in a 10-gallon hat, chaps, and spurs...because HE'S from TEXAS! Yee Haw!! These dudes are usually the same tools who manage to get into a fight when they oafishly slam into another heavily beered-up dumbass. It's just so lame and predictable.


Another thing I did this week? Finally finished reading this. Do I feel smarter? Hell to the yes. I'm totally getting the American History edition for myself for Christmas...

Thursday was my three year blogging anniversary and eight year anniversary at work, and I was so busy, I barely remembered either event. So happy belated bloggiversary to me!!


And finally, I got a gabbity ("cavity" in Geej speak) filled on Wednesday. WTF, people?! I go 36 years without getting one single cavity, and then I have 3 in two years. Pisses me off...

Dispatches from 4:32am

This week has been nuts. Cashews, to be exact. A full roundup is coming later, but I felt this absolutely needed to be posted:

Early Thursday morning, 4 am-ish to be exact-ish, I woke up to go to the restroom. When I got back in the bed (in the pitch black, I might add...seriously, my room is SUPER dark), I heard the purring begin. And then the slow, soft "biscuits" began to be made against my side. I reached down to pet him, and I couldn't figure out what was going on...which end was what, was he upside down? Right side up? It was very confusing. And the purring had become deafening. Luckily, my camera was not far away, so I took a chance and snapped this in the dark, not knowing what image I was about to capture.

God, he's rotten. Do you see how much of the actual bed he's managing to take up? Good lord...

More soon.

I had a really great time in Boulder.

Our work meetings were intense and inspirational. The weather was perfect. The leaves were changing. I got to hang out with Mr. Wonderful. It was all good.

Also, I devised a new drinking game*:

Next time you're in the Denver/Boulder area, drive around with an open bottle of Jagermeister in the car. Every time you see a Subaru wagon, take a shot. Trust me: this is a GREAT idea.

I've got photos and stories to post tomorrow. But for now, I'm going to bed.

*No, I didn't actually do this, because I would be dead of alcohol poisoning and/or stupidity. Seriously, it's RIDICULOUS how many Subaru wagons roam the streets of Boulder. I know they've got the all-wheel drive and whatnot, and that's good with snow. But still... I'm surprised you don't get politely escorted to the state line if you're not in a Subaru...or a Prius. There were lots of those too.

So long, suckers.

I'm sick of this heat and humidity. It's supposed to be fall, damnit. So I'm outta here. Where am I going?

Here:

Where the leaves are changing, there's almost no humidity, the high temps are in the low 70s and it's getting into the low 40s at night.

Oh HELL yes!

I'm even packing a jacket, fools! Yippee!!!

Granted, I will be spending most of my waking hours tomorrow and Friday locked in a conference room in meetings, but hey, I'll take it how I can get it.

I check back with y'all soon!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Yesterday, The Geej and I were lucky enought to attend La Turista's youngest's birthday hoedown at the Little Buckaroo ranch just outside of town. It was a knee-slappin', high-falootin', barn-bustin' good time. Here are just some of the things The Geej got to do:

Act sassy in her cowgirl gear.

Swing on a recycled tire horse.

Touch some fish.

Water the (miniature) horses. [This picture was snapped immediately prior to her declaring, "There are too many people. It's getting on my nerves!" and dropping the hose.]

Pet a bunny.

Get up close and personal with a little rooster.

Feed some friendly goats.

• Take a little hay ride.
• Groom a minature horse.
• Get honked at by a cranky goose. (Are there any other kind, by the way?)

And...drum roll please...RIDE A PONY for the first time! Yaaaaaaaahoo!

All of this was topped off with Hawaiian Punch (a first for her), veggie dogs cooked over an open fire, and birthday cake.

Wow. Sometimes it's really freakin' cool to be three.

Other goings on...

Yeah, I know that Texas got beat today by stupid ol' O.U. But you know what? U.T. is still way cooler than O.U. simply based on these two facts: It's not in Oklahoma AND it's actually in Austin, which--as many of us know--flippin' rules.

Okay, now down to haps.

This week was crazybusy at work. First off, it was a short week for me since I took Monday off. Then it was like--Bam!--meetings, meetings, meetings, lunch with new team, appointment, meetings, parent/teacher conference, meeting, team appreciation lunch, offsite meeting, 5:00pm Friday. I mean, seriously. Whoooooosh.

Monday my small team officially joined a new larger team at work. There are good things about this "merger", and things about it that still remain to be seen. I'm in protective "mother hen" mode at the moment with the whole situation. At any rate, it's new, and if there's one thing that is constant about where I work, there's always something "NEW" going on.

I went to a work-related reception thingie on Wednesday evening. It was nice, but gosh that shit's just awkward. I'm chatty as hell, but I'm not one of those folks who likes to go up and just initiate random, work-related conversation with someone I don't know. But I did, and it was fine. As long as this type of schmooze-fest isn't a regular part of what I do at work, I'm golden.

I had Geej's parent/teacher conference on Thursday afternoon. Let me set the scene for you:

Her teachers--Mr. Gabe and Miss Kim--and I are seated on the "circle time" circle in the middle of their feng shui-ed/bamboo-floored classroom, while the class rat Hunka Munka runs around between us, crawling all over us at various points. It was freakin' awesome. The basic report is this: She's doing incredibly well, especially considering how different the "Primary" class (with all 4 and 5 yr. olds except for her and her friend Kennedy) is from the "Pre-primary" class she came from. The only issue? Her tendency to be a bit...um...bossy. Seriously, I have no idea where she gets this from. (Nod, nod, wink wink.) We'll be working on this as hard as we can, but honestly? She's my kid: she's gonna be a Bossy McBossersons. There's not a whole lot I can do about it.

This week was going really well, actually, until yesterday morning when Earl woke me up barfing on the pillow next to my head. Some cats are barfy--Earl is not. So this was a tad bit weird. Well, by the time Geej and I were leaving for our day, he'd puked another 5 times. Lovely. When I got home, 3 semi-dry piles of upchuck greeted me. I took up his food and told myself that if he was still hurling today, we'd give the vet a call. Well, guess what. This morning, he threw up another 5 times before the crack of 10am, so I called my vet (who is open from 9am to 1pm on Saturdays). I explained what was going on, but they had two emergency surgeries going on, so they weren't going to be able to see my big, barfy boy. So they referred me to the emregency vet not too far from where I live. We took him, and nothing unusual was found during the regular exam (of course), so they guilted me into a shitload of diagnostic testing and x-raying and whatnot. Now, he's home with me hydrated and anti-nausea medicated, and x-rayed, and CBC-ed. But at least he hasn't blown chunks since we got home. Even if I am $500 poorer, I'm glad to know he's feeling better. I hope he STAYS better, because I don't think I can afford another trip to the vet right now. Oh! And get this: My little fatty has lost TWO pounds since his annual exam last year. I totally attibute this to the fact that I transitioned him to "light" food after Ellen was no longer with us. He's still HUGE, but not as enormous as he used to be. Good boy...

Other things:
Mr. Wonderful starts his new job on 11/12, so he and I are trying to figure out the logistics of getting his ass down here. Right now, it's looking like I'll be flying up there to help him drive the U-Haul down here on 11/1. Oh. My. GOD!! I'm so freakin' excited. And I've got SO much to do to ger ready for him to arrive. I smell a garage sale in my immediate future...I gots to make some room, fools!

Speaking of Mr. W., I am heading to Boulder, CO next week with my entire work team to meet with our parallel team at the company we're merging with, and Mr. W. and I are going to be able to spend a wee bit of time together at the end of my trip. Boulder in October? GORGEOUS. I can't wait.

Geej and I are going to a birthday party tomorrow where there will be a pony for riding. Last time she had the opportunity to ride a pony, she was too scared. But she's been talking about this and fired up for a week now, so we'll see if she is ready to go for it. I hope so, because how else am I going to get her interested in this: Welcome to Ponyville! Holy CRAP, people!! How do I protect my daughter from this marketing onslaught? Jesus H. Christ. Speaking of...I have a whole bitchtastic post brewing about the whole branding/marketing thing and kiddos. I know it's not groundbreaking, but I'm just now facing it with my kiddo, and it makes me wanna punch someone in a suit. Hard.

Okay, I have so much more to write, but it's clogging my brain and I'm too tired. So I'll leave you with this piece of advice:

Do yourself a favor, and treat yourself to this month's playlist at davidbyrne.com. It's based on a cross-country driving trip he did with his daughter, and it's perfection. If I weren't already in love with Mr. Wonderful, I would TOTALLY stalk David Byrne.

This one's for you, Julie.

Yep. I purchased this 12-pack before the crack of 9:30am this morning and am trying to figure out a way to ship it to you safely without bottles breaking. We may just have to wait to crack these open until the next time we see each other (which I hope won't be that far away).

O.U. Sucks!

Cool* things I've done recently.

* By "cool," I may actually mean woefully uncool. You've just got to pay attention.

• Bought this online: `
• Accidentally stabbed myself in the knuckle with a fork. Hard.
• Spent $157 at Target when all I stopped in for was Q-tips and lipstick.
• Painfully bruised the backside of my hand without knowing exactly how I did it.
• Tried to cut a cherry tomato in half at a group lunch at work, only to have its innards shoot onto my shirt and into my hair like the money shot in a 70s porno.
• Seriously discussed the whole Britney meltdown stuff. Twice.
• Ate grilled pineapple (YUM!).
• Spent over $1,000 getting my car tuned up and cleaned up.
• Got a manicure. I've gotten like 5 manicures in my entire life, so this is a big deal. And my nails still look freakin' AWESOME.
• Re-read my "Trip 2" adoption journal. Realized how fucking scared and ill I was during that trip.
• Somehow stumbled into a doorknob backwards and ended up with the nastiest bruise I've had in years...right in the middle of my back.
• Managed to avoid shaving my legs, for like, weeks.
• Finally FINALLY sold my old engagement/wedding set and split the proceeds between my retirement account and The Geej's college fund.
• Bought a really good potato masher, then mashed some potatoes.
• Got rid of the nasty, moldy love seat that was out on my deck.
• Scheduled an appointment with a window coverings place to get my kitchen window taken care of.
• Had insomnia over work stuff.
• Watched Pablo bother Ramsey about a dozen times:
  

So there you have it, Super Friends: Further proof that it is TOTALLY worth your time and effort to read this blog, as it is ALWAYS loaded with the most interesting, fascinating information ever.

Sigh.

Reunion Weekend Recap

Sorry for the delay, folks. Yesterday, I took the day off to recuperate from my weekend, and by "recuperate" I mean run 5 million errands while the Geej was in school. My day off freakin' wore me out. Oh well, here we go...

Thursday

Mom, Geej and I left for Dallas around 10am. I hate packing, so I waited to pack myself and Geej until the morning of. And guess what I managed to forget: my entire bag of toiletries. Yep. Toothbrush. Razor. Deodorant. All of it. I did grab my makeup bag, but still, I forgot everything else. Thank God for Walgreen's "travel size" section is all I can say. Got to my aunt and uncle's house ("Nanny and Papa" to the Geej) at around 2pm. Got Mom and Geej all settled with Papa, then took off for Mr. Wonderful's mom's house. Nanny and Papa live in the northeast Dallas suburbs, Mr. Wonderful's mom and stepdad (Dixie and Jim) live the the northwest Dallas/Ft. Worth suburbs. In other words, it was a 45 mile drive from one house to the other, and I was still in D/FW. Fucking crazy sprawl... Anyhoo, got to Dixie's house with little difficulty. They live in a restored farm house in (what was once) the country on five beautiful acres. They're surrounded by large homes on large chunks of lovely land and lots and lots of horses. Mr. W. and his boys greeted me, and Dixie and Jim were awesome hosts. We all had dinner together and just hung out. It was laid back and nice. Mr. W. and I spent some time with our senior annual, refreshing ourselves with the names and faces of the people in our class and ended up crashing pretty early.

Friday

Got up and got on the road at around 10:30. We decided to take the "back roads" to Longview--through Greenville and McKinney and a bunch of tiny towns. The highlight of the trip, had to be lunch. We had looked on the map, and hoped to find something decent in either Lone Oak or Emory (both super tiny blips on the map). When I saw a little dinner with a parking lot full of what looked like work trucks in Emory, I made a quick turn in. We'd both been talking about how we were hoping to have some good catfish while we were in East Texas, and when we walked in to the Y'all Come Back Cafe, the first thing I saw was a picture of a catfish on the front of the menus. BINGO! And then the 50 yr. old waitress with the dyed jet black pony tail and painted on eyebrows asked us "Sweet or Unsweet?" after we both ordered iced tea. JACKPOT! This was one of those places where everyone knows each other and warmly chats with one another. The guy with his back to us here is Mr. Harlan. Pretty much everyone in the restaurant stopped by to chat with him at some point. The Friday special? Catfish, of course.

We continued on our journey, and rolled into Longview later that afternoon. After a couple of stops to visit Mr. W.'s brother and my friend Lisa, her husband, and her sweet new baby boy, Henry, we headed to Mr. W's dad's house on the lake outside of town. Rested for a bit, then got ready for the evening's activities. Headed back into town and met friends at a Tex-Mex restaurant for dinner and drinks. Of course, I was the only woman there NOT wearing a "Pine Tree High School, 1987" tank top and sporting a blue and gold boa (no, I'm not kidding), but somehow I didn't feel too bad about it. I told them they were about one step away from being in the Red Hat Society, but really, they all looked pretty cute (because they've all got rockin' bods).

After supper, we went to the tailgate party at the game. The weather was perfect, and seeing old friends and attending a football game was pretty nostalgic. NOTHING about the whole experience has changed...except for maybe the majorette and flag corps uniforms are more Vegas-y than they used to be and all of the high school kids look like freakin' babies. This was a Big Game for the mighty Pirates. And when the school you're rooting for is Pine Tree High School, you get into the spirit by decorating your vehicle with...well, pine trees. Sadly, the Pirates didn't prevail, but we had fun nonetheless.

After halftime, most of my classmates who'd been at the game, made their way to the Oil Bowl bowling alley. The lanes we had reserved were, conveniently, right in front of the SMOKY bar. Not much bowling actually happened, but lots of drinking and chatting did. It was pretty damn fun. We ended up staying until about 1am before heading back out to Mr. W's dad's house. By the time we left, the temperature outside had dropped to 62 degrees. It was a perfect hint of fall.

Saturday

Woke up to a BEAUTIFUL day. Still nice and cool outside. Sunny and not humid. So we took a ride around the lake in this: Mr. Wonderful's dad's new convertible. SO much fun. It really is gorgeous up there, and the lake is surrounded by curvy, hilly roads bordered by tall trees. So pretty. After that, we headed in to town for lunch. We took our "dress clothes" with us because we were planning on sneaking in to the fancy shmancy reunion party that night (even though we hadn't paid). Ended up going to Mr. Wonderful's sister-in-law's parent's house (are you still with me?) for the afternoon. They were having a big family get-together/cook out thing complete with plenty of cold beer, washer tossing, domino playing, and football watching. It was really fun. After we left there, we went to the brother/sister-in-law's house and had sandwiches. This was about the time we really needed to start getting ready if we were actually going to go to the fancy shmancy thing, but we just couldn't rally. We were tired and knew we had a long day staring us in the face on Sunday, so we ended up just hanging out with the family and then heading back to the dad's lakehouse at around 11:30pm. Lame? Yeah, pretty much.

Sunday

Got up early, and got on the road to Dallas by 9:15am. Drove back to Nanny and Papa's house. Not only were my mom, aunt and uncle, and The Geej there, but also my cousin, her husband, and her daughter, and my OTHER cousin and her husband. Poor Mr. Wonderful, being thrown in to the family fire like that. Got Mom and The Geej loaded up in the car with us, then headed to Dixie and Jim's house. Got there, and loaded everyone in to two cars, and headed to lunch--all eight of us. Had catfish (again...come ON! I was on vacation!), and then said our goodbyes and Mom, The Geej and I headed back to Austin while Mr. W and his boys headed back to Dixie and Jim's to spend one more night and day before heading back to Colorado.

Whew. I think I put about a jillion miles on my car this weekend. But I had a lot of fun. Some items of note:

• For the most part, my female classmates are looking a lot better than the males. Lots of hair loss and puffiness going on among the men.
• No one seemed surprised in the least that Mr. W. and I are a couple.
• There's a skanky area between Longview and the lake where Mr. W's dad lives called "Whisky Bend." It's literally a bend in the highway that's chock full of liquor stores and skeezy clubs on both sides of the road. I happened to notice in our travels to and fro that there is a club called "Streakers Gentleman's Club" and next door to it, "Club B.J." I wish I were kidding.
• I saw "Meth Watch" signs on the city limits signs going into an east Texas town. It was hanging there like it's a point of civic pride or something. Wow.
• Longview has a really high number of pimped out "Fast and Furious" type vehicles per capita.
• Mr. W's stepdad Jim is a super nice guy. He's one of those great older Texan dudes with a substantial belly on him. So of course the Geej asked him, "Do you have a baby in your tummy? Can I touch it?" after we had just lunched with them. God, I wanted to fall through the asphalt.

Okay, that's all I got. I'm sorry there wasn't more drama, scandal, and gossip than that. All in all, it was a pretty tame weekend with LOTS of time spent in the car.