Best picture evah!

Would you please check out the self-satisfied look on her face.

I've got a big post brewing, but BH's kiddos are visiting and we are quite busy. So Happy New Year to ya! Be sure and eat your blackeyed peas and greens tomorrow, and I'll see you in '08!

Holiday Recap.

I love it when Christmas is low-key and manageable. That's how it was this year. I spent a great deal of time prepping and cooking, which was actually very enjoyable. Here's what I made:

Chrismas Eve
Polenta Gratin with Mushrooms and Fontina
Baked Stuffed Tomatoes
Green Salad with Pears and Gorgozola
Iced Christmas Sugar Cookies

Christmas Morning
Green Chile and Cheese Breakfast Casserole
Fresh Fruit

Christmas Afternoon/Night
Winter Squash and White Bean Stew with Crusty Bread

I'm happy to say, it was all quite yummy. Including the Bailey's.

Also, the Christmas cookie baking/decorating session went much better than last time. The Geej dressed in her finest fairy attire and got busy decorating with the other elves (Dah, Jaye and BH). Lovely, no?

She finally went to bed after I traumatized her by ringing Santa bells outside of her window. Yeah...I won't be doing that again. Once she was sacked out, BH put together the tricycle...again.(My mom had originally done it, and when I picked it up to bring it in from the garage, the handlebars came completely off.)

I put out all of her Christmas goodies and took bites of Santa's cookies and the celery we left for the reindeer.

Yes, that's ANOTHER baby you see right front and center. You see, Geej has a "swimming baby" (i.e., one that you can take in the bathtub) who has gotten a little...um...skanky. So Santa brought her a new baby for the bath. Meanwhile, the old swimming baby--Britney (my mom named her)--is being retired to Dah's house.

Geej burst into our room at the crack of dawn, whispering LOUDLY, "Mommy!! Come yook! Santa came!!" It was awesome. She was surprised by and loved everything. Then came the unwrapping, which she TOTALLY got into this year (as opposed to last).

The tricycle was a big hit. Here's Dah and Geej, going out on their maiden voyage.

Earl kept wondering where his presents were. It was kind of sad, really.

Now we get to wait another year to do it all again.

Very Happy Animals.

Earl:

Shiloh:

What I did this weekend

As you're well aware, it's the night before the night before Christmas. This weekend was crazy busy with last minute getting ready-type activities, as I'm sure it was for many of you. So a brief recap:

Friday:

Dah had the Geej because Friday was the first day of a 2-week stretch that the Geej's school is closed. So Friday evening, I ran a couple of shopping-related errands after work, and then BH and I went out for a nice dinner and went to a club to hear some music. That's right, fools! We actually had a grown-up's night out, and it was nice!

Saturday:

• Vacuumed and washed car
• Paid storage room bill
• Deposited $46 refund check from Austin Radiological Association at the bank
• Tried to get a bracelet repaired; Was unsuccessful
• Got a pedicure (the first one since September...YIKES!)
• Read a chapter-and-a-half in the book I'm almost finished with
• Ate migas
• Did two loads of laundry
• Changed sheets
• Cleaned GJ's bathroom and bedroom
• Swept tons of leaves off the front porch
• Got a bunch of stocking stuffers at CVS
• Went for a nice walk with Shiloh and BH (it was nice except the wind was blowing a gazillion miles an hour)


• Saw this on our walk--


• And this--
• Watched Earl enjoy a sunbeam
• Made a menu and shopping list for Christmas eve, Christmas brunch, and Christmas evening
• Ordered Chinese food for delivery
• Drank wine
• Took a shower
• Watched "Knocked Up"

Sunday:

• Went to Whole Foods to get 98% of the stuff that was on my shopping list I made on Saturday
• Ate lunch
• Folded laundry
• Went to HEB and got the other 2% of stuff that was on my shopping list
• Took a long drive
• Took a short nap
• Looked in on and fed Bookhart's cats (They're doing fine, by the way.)
• Was reunited with The Geej
• Made frito pie
• Drank wine
• Bathed the Geej
• Watched Milo and Otis with the Geej who told be to be on the lookout because, "Those animals poop out babies in this movie."

And now here we are. Tomorrow I've got to work most of the day. Bummer. But tomorrow evening, we're going to try (once again) to make some Christmas cookies for Santa, and then it's showtime after Geej goes to bed.

I can't wait until Christmas morning...

File Under: Puh-leez Give Me a Fookin' Break

I've been meaning to post about this unbelievably stupid bullshit ever since I saw the seedy little trailer open for business on South Lamar.

Their mission? To "successfully provide high-quality coffee based products with a provocative flair."

I don't even DRINK coffee, and this pisses me off.

Good GOD! Now you can't even get coffee without a little T&A? Way to alienate 50% of your potential coffee-drinking clientele, geniuses.

And you know what's sad? It'll probably succeed like crazy. These little stands will start popping up everywhere. U.S.A!! U.S.A!! We are devolving faster than I ever thought possible. By this point, I'm pretty sure "Idiocracy" was a documentary.

It certainly doesn't FEEL like Christmas.

It's 74 degrees right now. I'm not complaining, mind you. It's lovely outside. But it's just hard to get into the yuletide spirit when you could be wearing shorts. I'm just sayin'...

After two nights of wrapping, ribboning, and labeling, our tree finally has presents under it. It looks so nice! And Earl's trying to find another favorite spot to rest his substantial chubbiness.

I've really only got one more item I've got to buy--for my mom--and then some little things for the stockings, and I'm DONE! I really can't believe it. It's been a pretty stress-free shopping season, thanks to the internet. Seriously. It's the working woman's best friend.

Let's see, since I haven't done a "real" post in a while, let me catch y'all up:

My first ever Christmas cookie making/decorating session started out well.

However, one whole pan of cookies got burnt.

Really burnt. And I don't know how it happened, either. They were on the same rack, in the same oven for the same amount of time as the other cookies (that did NOT get burnt, and were actually quite yummy). The pan must suck. I don't know, because I DON'T BAKE, and this is just one reason why.

We're going to try again on Christmas eve...you know, to make cookies for Santa. I heard Santa also enjoys martinis...

Something that worked out FAR better was Pajama Day last Friday at The Geej's school. They got to wear pajamas to school (duh) and make "gingerbread" houses and watch a holiday movie in the gym. The day was perfect for it--cold and drizzly. I was totally jealous. And Geej, being the candy FREAK that she is could barely wait to get home to start eating her house. She did a pretty nice job decorating. But that didn't stop her from chowing down on it. Last weekend was BH's work Christmas party. It was at one of their facilities near the cute little town of Mason, TX--about 2+ hours from Austin. The drive was nice, and once we were there, the property was lovely.Seems some rich old dude donated this 8,600 acre plot of land to BH's state agency about 10 years ago. Now its used for managed wildlife hunts, hence this sign. You'll be happy to know, we turned left, not right. Getting to meet BH's workmates was nice. They all seem like very nice, down-to-earth people--the exact kind of people you'd imagine working in land and wildlife conservation management.

Finally, I'll leave you with this recent discovery: When it's really chilly outside, Earl is not only a loving, sweet cat. He's also a warm fur stole!

Tres elegante!

Sage holiday advice from The Geej:

[Told to me in the absolutely most earnest way ever while I was rocking her before bed the other night.]

Mommy, Santa Claus doesn't like it when you say bad words...like "stupid" or "jackass" or "panties-in-a-wad."

Okay, "stupid" she got from school. "Jackass" she got from me (I've got a wee case of the road rage dontcha know...), but "panties-in-a-wad"? That's 100% her grandmother.

Oh really? Well screw you too.

Thursday I was in the elevator at work, heading back to my MWS* after a meeting, when this lady got on with me who I'd never seen before. The fact that we were complete strangers didn't stop her from saying, "It looks like today has gotten the best of you."

Um, what? Excuse me? Did you just tell me I look like tired-ass crap? Why, yes. Yes you did.

Here's the thing, though: I did NOT feel particularly tired that day nor did I think I looked it. But hey, the random elevator stranger never lies, right?

So to try and counter this apparent drain on my usually astonishingly perky good looks, I ended up taking a FOUR HOUR NAP with the Geej today. We got in bed to read books at around 1:30, and didn't wake until 5:38 as the sun was setting. The upside is now I'm feeling chipper as Donna Reed and am in the midst of making some Christmas cookies (more on that later). The downside is that the length of the nap probably confirms what I've been suspecting for a couple of days--The Geej is coming down with something, AND she'll never, ever go to sleep tonight.

*MSW=my luxurious cube

Things I'm loving right now.

The Daily Coyote.

Raising Sand--the duet album with Alison Krauss and Robert Plant, produced by T. Bone Burnett. So. Damn. Good.

Italo's.

Acorn squash.

My new laptop at work.

Sweater weather.

The Tolerability Index.

Aster's Ethiopian Restaurant.

Oh wait!! I almost forgot!

No holiday gift list would be complete without the Fish and Flush toilet tank aquarium. (I'm thinking that between the Aquatable and this thing and god-knows-what-else you can find on the interwebs, you could potentially FILL your house with aquarium-related crapola this Christmas.)

'Tis the season...to POOP ON!

Today, when it was 79 muggy-ass degrees outside, I FINALLY started my Christmas shopping. First, I went to Toy Joy during lunch. I'm embarrassed to say I haven't been there in at least 1 1/2 years. It's one of my most favoritest places ever, and I have just been a loser I guess. But the fact is, I rarely go down near campus. Ever. It depresses me how homogenized it has become, and it just makes me feel old and disconnected. But today I was down there attending an all-day workshop on "Strategic Planning and Goal Setting" (God, I'm such a fucking grown up), and went to one of my favorite college haunts (one of the few that is actually still around) for lunch and then to Toy Joy. Sigh. Got The Geej and BH's younger son some stuff there, vowing I would be back to shop soon when I had more than 20 minutes and $30 to spend.

Oh, where was I? Right: Christmas shopping.

So the workshop ended about 1/2 hour early (that NEVER happens), so I found myself with the rare gift of an hour to kill before I needed to pick up The Geej. I hit this weird shopping center near her school and ended up dropping about $70 in a Target lovingly known as the "Targhetto" because it's so skanky. But, it's still a Target. So there you go.


Long story short: I finally have some damn Christmas gifts to wrap and put under our lovely tree.

Speaking of Christmas gifts, I thought I'd do y'all a favor and do some shopping consulting for you. Some people call it "personal shopping," but since I didn't actually make the purchase and am only providing some REALLY awesome options for you to act upon (or not), I think I'll call it "consulting" and charge you 10 times as much for my services.

Here goes:

Gift Idea #1: For the wacky, cold-natured, free spirit with absolutely no sense of shame in your life, ADULT FOOTIE PAJAMAS!! Perfect for doing the splits and/or some weird frat boy's fucked up sex fantasy.

Gift Idea #2: Some home decor for the bondage-inclined, decapitation prone murderer on your list. Because, what says "I've got Klass," more than an anorexic, shiny, headless woman lamp-type thing? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Gift Idea #3: Want some more kick-ass home decor for your crib? How 'bout some terribly practical furniture like the Aqua Table?

Goddamn, that's good lookin'. Especially with those "brass" sailboats on top that accentuate its ocean-ness. And I'm sure it's a totally trouble-free piece of furniture. Like, it's probably no problem at all to keep it clean and to keep actual marine life alive in it or anything. And I'm sure it's not the least bit difficult to move from one double-wide to another. Right? Who's with me?! The Aquatable RULES!!

Gift Idea #4: While we're on the topic of fine looking tables, may I present the "Unfortunate Sumo." Given the expression on this poor bastard's face, I really, REALLY don't want to know what this thing looks like from the back.

Gift Idea #5: Hey--Do this table and the Aquatable not scream, "Yo, bitches, I'm KLASSY!" loudly enough? Well, how 'bout this saucy little number?

Notice that there's only one martini glass on this table. All I'm saying is that the guy who owns this is one lonely, lonely dude.

Gift Idea #6: Did someone say, "lonely dude"? Well what about the lonely, internet porn addicted, hardcore gamer dudes? Don't they deserve to be on your Christmas list too? Of COURSE they do, Ebenezer!

May I introduce, "The Slanket." Really. That's what it's called. And what's great is, you can order it and send it via the internet, so that you don't actually have to interact with the fucking loser receiving this thing.
Gift Idea #7: Speaking of fucking losers...

The only people who should be able to legally order this are quadriplegics, the extremely elderly, those with disabling illnesses (such as Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinson's, Leprosy, etc.), and, of course, the armless. And I have a question: Wouldn't the need to turn the pages and then put the pages back into the holder-thingie sort of negate the purpose of this thing? I'm just sayin'...

Gift Idea #8: Lord, I wish I had some clever, smart-ass segue to give you to introduce the "Backyard Yeti": But alas, all I can say is that the very existence of this "lifelike cast resin" version of Sasquatch is far more unbelievable than the creature spoken of in the legendary Pacific Northwest sightings.

Gift Idea #9: And last but certainly not least (unless you're a terrorist): The "I'm proud to be an Ah-murh-kin, where at least I know I'm free...!" Eagle Wall Art!I'm not sure, but I think this comes from the "Toby Keith SERIOUSLY Rules" home patriot decor collection.


Listen, freaks: If you're truly interested in any of these fine products*, you can spend** your money at skymall.com.


Happy shopping, friends!


*utter shit
**waste

Coming up for air.

Has it really been almost a week since I posted? Jeez. Last week was a doozie. I had something to do practically every evening. The string of social engagements ended last night, so expect a recap and more regular posts from now on.

For now, I'll leave you with a couple of quick photos:

Sunset yesterday. Taken at 65 mph going south on MoPac. When I was little, I used to think that the sun coming through the clouds like that was God.

Saturday afternoon, Geej put on her "fancy dress," got all the babies arranged for "circle time" on the guest room bed, and then decided to have a good ol' fashioned bed jumping session. You know, for the hell of it. I love that kid.

Conversation with The Geej.

From this morning. Here's the scene:

The Geej has Sally--the alpha baby--in her stroller and is acting as her alterego, Karla, who is Sally's mom. I am "the teacher" and "Karla" is dropping Sally off at school, which just happens to be in my bathroom.

Karla May: Are you going to work?

Geej: Yes.

KM: Where do you work?

Geej: California.

KM: Oh, really?! That's a long way away.

Geej: That's where Sally's family is.

KM: Oh.

Geej: But a lot of them died.

KM: That's horrible! What happened?!

Geej: They were sick and died of an orgery. (She was trying to say "surgery.")

KM: I see...I didn't know Sally's people were into that kind of thing.

Also, I thought you'd like to see this. It got COLD here last night (after being in the 80s on Sunday), and Earl decided it would be a good idea to snuggle up next to BH on the couch. I probably wouldn't have known where he was except for the the insanely loud purring and this:

It's official:

BH and I are engaged!

He surprised me with a beautiful ring and a sweet proposal on Friday evening, and I am happy beyond belief. He is truly the man I was meant to be with. Somehow, he knows me completely, and STILL loves me.

We told The Geej, and she seems to approve, even if the concept of it all is a bit confusing for her. She did tell me she wants to marry Daschel, however.

Have no idea when the wedding will be. We've narrowed it down to "sometime in 2008."

More fun than a barrel of monkeys?

Today, Mr. Wonderful (who I shall henceforth refer to as BH, which are his initials) and I bravely accompanied The Geej and her entire class to The Austin Zoo for a field trip.

Let me start out by telling you that I am pretty creeped out and depressed by zoos in general. I know the keepers and zoologists do admirable work, but seeing animals in cages does not make me happy. I'd never been to the Austin Zoo due to this fact about myself, even though I know it's an "all rescue" zoo. So this was a first for both me and BH. However, The Geej had been there before with Dah.

Anyway, enough background.

I'd volunteered to drive myself and at least 2 young ones (in addition to the Geej), but instead I ended up actually riding in the passenger seat of another mom's car while Geej and this gal's son rode in the back.Poor BH had to ride with a father of one of Geej's classmates, this guy's son and two other four year-old boys. Yeah...I'm not sure he realized what he was getting himself into. (Apparently this dad was something of a douchebag, but I won't go into that right now.)

The weather was overcast and coolish, but not the least bit cold. We basically strolled the grounds of the zoo and checked out the animals at our own pace. My favorites? The marmosets and the tigers. BH also liked the marmosets. Geej? She was all about the cats, as in the two felis domesticus who roamed the grounds of the zoo. In fact, she declared most of the animals "Yuck" and proclaimed that "It's stinky" several times during our time a the zoo. What a diva. Her least favorite? The bears. She and Stephen Colbert would have a lot to talk about...

We took the train ride around the zoo, and she seemed to like that just fine.

Afterward, we had a picnic among the peacocks and...of course...the friendly zoo cats.

I think after this trip to the zoo, I finally deeply understand what the term, "Stoned as a goat" means. Seriously: Look at this dude's eyes. He's TOTALLY baked.

On the way back to school, Geej's back seat partner declared that he didn't want to play with her anymore when they got back to school because she's "so boring." Oh, okay, Mr. Excitement. Whatever you say. God. Kids can be such jerks.

Got back to school, and it was nap time, so BH and I made our exit.

All in all, a pretty fun time.

Overheard at our house last night:

I was putting The Geej's pajamas on her, and this is what went down:

Geej: Can I have a bunny?

Karla May: Lord no, honey. Bunnies are cute, but they're a pain. They chew on everything and they're really, really loud. They howl all night long. And you know what they eat? Baby dolls! (To which her eyes widened in disbelief.) No really: they do! Besides, we've already got a cat, a dog and a gecko. We really don't need a noisy, babydoll-eating bunny.

Geej: Well then, can I have a rabbit?

What we did on our Thanksgiving vacation.

That's right, fools. The Tree is UP! I'm pretty sure this is the first time in my life EVER that I put the tree up the weekend after Thanksgiving. And somehow, this year's tree looks a lot better than last year's tree (even though it's ostensibly the same tree, plus a couple of boxes of ornaments from Super Target).

Of course the Geej was all up in the tree decorating hizzee. She actually did a fairly good job even if it was highly-concentrated in the lower left quadrant of the tree.

My goal is to actually have some presents under the tree this year BEFORE Christmas morning. I've already purchased two presents (I know...unimpressive), so I'm ahead of where I usually am this time of year.

In other news: Yay! The sun is out after a gloomy-as-hell weekend. That means the lovely moon is going to be bright and clear tonight. It also means it's going to get down into the (upper) 30s. SNUGGLE WEATHER!! If only I could sleep in until 10:00am every morning... Sigh.

Hunka Munka went back to Geej's school today. I think I may have been the only one who was sad to see her go. Mr. W. never warmed up to her, the Geej was only half-way interested, and Earl really didn't give a crap about Hunka Munka's presence. (I swear that cat has ZERO predatory instinct inside his nicely insulated frame. He's a lover, not a fighter.) My mom and friends who came for Thanksgiving were fairly grossed out about the fact that I was willingly harboring vermin in my house. But I got rather Willard-like and would pulled Hunka Munka out each night to give her a thorough petting and scratching. And you know what? She LOVED it. She totally chilled out and relaxed and let her little, beady eyes go half-mast. It was pretty endearing. I haven't even seen Ratatouille, but I'm totally buying it.

Got this book today for work. I'm actually looking forward to reading it. Am I a dork? Why yes I am...

Finally, I'd like to say a fond farewell to Mr. Kevin DuBrow, recently-departed lead singer of 80s pseudo metal outfit "Quiet Riot." Two of the comments I read regarding a posting about his death were "Wait...who?" and "Now it truly is a quiet riot." Sad and funny. Sort of like that wig he used to wear.

Cum on...feel the noize.

Baby, it's cold outside.

Granted, it's not FREEZING, but it's cold for us. Would you please look at this boy: he's TOTALLY gettin his snuggle on. Yes, he put himself inside the blanket. I wouldn't have even known he was in there if not for the deafening purring going on. I just pulled it up so I could see his face and, of course, I had to take a picture.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuurp!

Thanksgiving has got to be my most favoritest holiday. It's about food and friends and family, and what could be better than that?

I hosted a low-key potluck Thanksgiving for a few friends. Tuesday night Mr. W and I did all our shopping. Wednesday night, we prepped and cut and mixed, getting everything ready to cook. Thursday morning we put the squash in the slow cooker and went and picked up our smoked turkey at Hoover's. The friends started showing up around 2:30. I pulled out all of the appetizers--including the tomatoes rockafeller and the sundried tomato mozzarella skewers. We sat down to eat around 4:45. We went around the table and all said what we are thankful for. Geej said she's thankful for candy. What a surprise, no?I hadn't really eaten anything all day (except for a plate of appetizers), so about 15 minutes after we sat down to eat, my plate looked like this.

It was fun, and the food (except for the roasted potatoes I made, which were undercooked) was AMAZING.

Appetizers:

Marinated mushrooms

Celery/Carrots with veggie dip and hummus

Mozzarella skewers

Tomatoes rockafeller

Citrus stuffed olives

Cream cheese with Pick-a-pepper sauce

Dried cranberries and cherries

Manchego, Goat blue cheese, and White cheddar with cranberries

Assorted crackers

Dinner:

Smoked turkey

Chipotle sweet potatoes

Vegan veggie tart

Cornbread dressing

Artichoke spinach casserole

Mac and cheese

Dijon roasted potatoes

Braised acorn squash

Whole wheat rolls

Cranberry sauce

Mushroom gravy

Dessert:

Pumpkin pie

Rhubarb pie (First time I've ever had rhubarb...OMFG YUM!!)

Taaaaaaaaaaaaasty!

Sent everyone home with leftovers and still had plenty left for ourselves.

Man, I love Thanksgiving.