Thank God for Final Net.

Let's take a journey with Karla May through the hairstyles of 1983, 1984, and 1985. Even though I dye my hair now, that's about all I "do" to it. I don't style it or blow dry it or curl it or anything. I'm very lazy when it comes to my hair. That wasn't so back in the Eighties. It was all wings, all the time. The photo quality is kind of lame because I don't have a scanner. But I think you'll get the idea...



8th Grade
My friend Lainey and I went on a Saturday afternoon and had this thing taken at the Dillard's portrait studio in the mall. I clearly recall being SO happy at how my wings had turned out that day. Pure perfection. I was wearing so much hairspray, you probably could've dropped a brick on my head and I wouldn't have noticed. Lainey's hair is in French braids, and yes, I'm that much taller than her. We're both sporting Izod polos, and I'm classing up my look by wearing a strand of (fake) pearls. This wasn't the only "best friend" I went and had my portrait done with. The following year, I went and had pictures done with my "best friend" Wendy S. We decided to don Mexican dresses for that shoot. I had a total mullet that I mistakenly thought made me look punk rock, and Wendy had long hair that was totally Sun-In'd. I don't own a copy of that portrait, but trust me: It was just as awesome as it sounds.

9th Grade

My girlfriends and I used to get together on the weekends and take "modeling pictures." I've got a million of these things from about 6th grade, right on up through high school. This lovely shot was taken at my friend Lisa C.'s house. Her house was great to take "modeling pictures" at because she had all these pageant dress up clothes you could get gussied up in . But apparently I opted for a ski parka in this shot. My wings are RULING here. And the eye makeup? Totally classy. If you're wondering why it looks like someone punched me in the mouth, it's because I had a mouth full of metal. My braces were those totally old school kind that looked like you had ball bearings on each tooth. Thank god I only had to wear them for a year. I remember thinking that this photo was really edgy and sexy. I must've been drunk on wine coolers... Yikes.

10th Grade

And last but not least: 10th grade band formal. Yes, "BAND" formal. I played the French horn. Badly. And later, I was in the flag corp. So I was just as big of a dork as you might imagine.

The poor victim pictured with me here is Tommy L. He and I were pals, and even though he was a junior and like one of the most popular guys in school, he was a nice enough dude to accompany me to this lame event while I was wearing this godawful purple/green nightmare. My hair was in an "updo" that I'd had done by a lady at my mom's beauty shop, and clearly she was a genius because somehow I'm still rocking the wings AND managing tendrils at the same time. I thought this dress was SO pretty, and every girl reading this knows why I got the dress with the ruffles up on top. Hey, when you're working a AA in the bra dept., you do what you gotta do. Look at that corsage!! Egh! And just so you know, yes, I had lavender shoes on, dyed to match. Please look at how flippin' SKINNY I was. No wonder all the boys treated me like I was a guy. God, this photo makes me cringe.