Tuesday, April 18, 2006

More than 100,000 fully-satisfied users!

I was at one of my favorite vintage stores this weekend, and ran across an April 1974 issue of "The Wrestler" magazine. Of course, I had to buy it because of it's sheer awesomeness. It's one hell of a magazine, I gotta tell you. But it's not just the articles that are stunning (with titles like "Get up Boris! You won!" and "A Psychologist Analyzes Freddie Blassie" you KNOW they're dynamite). The ads are magnificient.

Case in point:
The Original London Love Doll

The guy who wrote the ad copy on this deserves a Pulitzer. Don't believe me? Read on...

Never be bored or alone again! Whenever you feel like it, just cuddle up to your own LOVE DOLL.

An amazingly life-like companion. A pleasure-filled 37" - 23" - 36".

Judy "The Doll that's Got It All!" (pictured above).

The original London Dolls! More than 100,000 fully-satisfied users!

I was bored and lonely until I met JUDY and SUSAN. My friends were out of town. I had nothing to do. I was bored and lonely. Then I saw a LOVE DOLL ad in a magazine. I mailed in the coupon, not really expecting much. But when the package arrived--WOW! That was the night I met JUDY. We danced...I practiced all sorts of new steps...she followed me all the way. My new LOVE DOLL seemed so life-like I really felt I had a new friend. Then I decided to send for SUSAN too. Wouldn't two be twice as nice as one? Soon, SUSAN arrived and the three of us began to play. I danced with one, then the other, then both together! It was wonderful snuggling upto JUDY, but now it was twice as nice with two LOVE DOLLS to share my nights.

Judy was made just for love. She's the original, talked-about LOVE DOLL from London. Her soft, "fleshy" vynyl skin seems almost real...both girls seem almost to breathe as they faithfully await your commands. At cocktail parties, they're conversation pieces...at home either one (or both) is fun, companionship and wild excitement. (You can even swim or shower with the bouyant beauties!) All 5' 4" of each girl features the most life-like details available in an inflatable figure. You'll find the flexible, durable dolls entertaining, versatile, surprising and accommodating. Ride around town with Judy by your side and impress your friends. You never need to be alone with Judy or Susan snuggled up next to you!

Order your LOVE DOLL today. Judy or Susan come complete with Love-like adornments: a Peek-a-Boo Negligee, darling Bikini, etc....all are included, if you order the SUPER LOVE PAK. And your LOVE DOLL is guaranteed to please or your money back! There are no strings, no hang-ups, no inhibitions--just unlimited pleasure when you have your LOVE DOLL by your side! Use this coupon to order now!

For Conversation. For Companionship. For Fun. For Excitement.JUDY and SUSAN are the most taunting, tantalizing LOVE DOLLS around. And they're the only genuine London dolls! Order one or both (for double the pleasure)! Susan is Judy's Negro friend. Both dolls are 5' 4" and measure a full 37" - 23" - 36"!

Money Back Gurantee

If your LOVE DOLL does not give you complete satisfaction...if you do not agree that she is ore durable, prettier, more life-like than any other inflatable doll, simply return her within ten days. Your money wil be refunded, no questions asked. Order now!

Have you ever read ANYTHING that brilliant? A conversation piece at cocktail parties? You think?


Bookhart said...

I suspect the the LOVE DOLL doesn't look the same as the picture when you take her, or her Negro friend, out of the box.

amamgets said...

I'm getting the biggest chuckle, imagining some dude driving around with his Love Dolls in the car. Double the pleasure, double the fun-- and he could drive in the HOV lanes!

my word ver. is nutoso, which pretty much says it all.