I took Earl to the vet the other week for his annual check up, and a new doctor who I'd never seen did the exam. This doctor, whose name is Dr. Morfin (pronounced "Morphine," by the way), told me that my sweet baby boy is obese and needs to lose "at least 3 pounds." Um, excuse me? Earl's head is the size of a grapefruit, and his paws are as big as my fist. He's a BIG fucking cat. Plus he's lost 2 pounds since last year's visit--down to 16 from 18--and THAT doctor didn't say anything about him needing to lose weight. And he certainly didn't call him obese.
Look at him: He's just a big, orange boy.
Fuck you, Dr. Morfin.