See, a friend of mine clued me into this site that has the "what's coming up" topics on Oprah, and allows you to nominate yourself (more or less) to appear on an upcoming show. Although the "Do you suffer from extremely bad hangovers?" and "Do you know a man who has developed breasts?" topics were intruiging, I opted to go for the "Are you 30-something and want to tell your story?" topic. Here's what I wrote for my entry:
"My thirties have been a whirlwind: Moved from Chicago to Austin. Started a new job. Got married. Got divorced. Got promoted. Grandfather died. Mom got cancer, lived. I lost 41 lbs. Dad got cancer, died. Changed positions at work. Gained back the 41 lbs. I’d lost. Stepdad died. Adopted a baby girl (as a single parent)from Russia. Had a hysterectomy and discovered--surprise--I had a malignant tumor. (I'm fine, thank God.) And am in the process of buying my first home. Whew! Somehow, I'm still standing and still smiling, although it hasn't been easy. If you want a guest who's done it all in their 30s, I'm your gal. Thanks!"
I'm expecting a call any moment now. Don't worry--I won't forget you when I'm famous.