I'm alive! I'm alive!

I've been in the throes of moving for days and daze now. I'm starting to dig out from underneath the mountain of boxes of crap that is apparently indispensable, but I still have a LONG way to go before I feel "settled." But I have caught myself grinning at the concept of "this is MY house, that is MY floor, those are my light fixtures." There's something so grown up about being this much in debt.

The Geej has settled in to her new digs with no problems. Soon I'll post a photo of her in her new room, but first I have to remember what I did with the digital camera.

Also, I don't have an internet hookup at home yet, so I imagine my postings are going to be sparse and infrequent for the next week or so. Stay with me kids! I promise I'll be interesting and amusing some day soon!

I hope to be so lucky.

This is a photo of my mom Cheryl, with the Geej, taken this weekend. My mom will be 60 at the end of January. She's the same age as Harriet Miers (and we all remember how scary and witch-like she is). I gotta say, my mom looks damn good. And she hasn't had any "work" done (aside from a chemical peel a couple of years ago). Her mother was the same way--looked amazing until the day she died. I pray--PRAY--I got those genes. I mean, I got the famously large hips from that side of the family, so I figure I should also be thrown a genetic bone with the never-aging skin.

Early Thanksgiving

Picture a spiral notebook, covered in hearts and unicorns, with the words, "I LOVE all my friends. 2 gether. 4 ever. NoEndEver." scrawled in flowery 13-yr. old script all over its cover. THAT is, in a nutshell, how I feel about my friends. I have a constant, continual crush on them. They never cease to find new ways to make me love and appreciate them, and I count my lucky stars every day that I am so blessed with all of these amazing jack asses in my life. They rule.

(This photo was taken at Malcontent Mama's kick ASS white trash party like...13 years ago. I'm the pregnant bride with the 40 in hand, wearing a koozie around my neck.)

Since my family is small (ostensibly, me, The Geej, and my mom--with some extended, but not very connected aunts, uncles and cousins out there), my friends are truly my family. When my dad died, it was my friends who were surrounding me. Not my family. When I collapsed at work in July 2004 and had to go to the hospital in an ambulance, it was my friends who took care of me. When I had my hysterectomy this summer, my friends came to the rescue to take care of the baby so my mom could come up to the hospital to visit me. In short, they are nothing less than amazing. Not just because of how they care for me, but because of who they are as individuals. Man, they're awesome.

I think the worst card one could be dealt would be to go through his/her life and not ever know what it means to have a true, TRUE friend. In that respect, I am wealthy beyond imagination. And I thank God/Buddha/Allah/Ganesh/Bob Marley.

Who you calling "Garden Gnome"?

Does she look like she's ready to throw down, or what? The only thing that's as cute as a nekkid baby, is a baby in a hat. Yay! Cold weather!

Let the games begin!

I went and got my homeowner's insurance squared away and got the cashier's check (gulp) for my closing costs and down payment today. Thursday's the final walk-through. Then Friday, I close. Oh God, it's official: I'm a damn grownup. Baby? Check. Mom-ish SUV-type vehicle? Check. Mortgage? Check. Prefer sleeping over socializing? Check. Wow.

And to make things more interesting, I am SLAMMED at work. Have been for a couple of weeks now. Seriously, I get to work at about 8:30-ish, and do not stop unless it's to pee, eat lunch, or call the utility companies to arrange to have my services turned on at the new place. (A call to SBC ate up 27 minutes of my life today.)

When I get home, my to-do list is as long as the one at work, and just as tedious. It's times like these that I think, "Hmmm...maybe if I started taking meth, I'd get skinny and have the energy I need to do everything I need to do." Well, not really. But almost.

So it's 11:20 right now, and I've still got at least an hour's worth of stuff to accomplish before I collapse in bed. And what am I doing? Blogging. Wait. Scratch that. I'm waiting for the laundry to dry so I can fold it. Yeah. That's what I'm doing.

Tomorrow I won't get a lick of work done because we've got this all-day gauntlet of interviews for a new position on our team. They're literally scheduled from 9:00 to 4:00. And here's the kicker: our boss already has her mind up who she wants to hire. We're basically just going through the motions as far as I can tell. This is the kind of shit that convinces me that I will have a stroke before I'm forty.

On the lighter side, I'm thinking that maybe--just maybe--it's finally fall. We've had a couple of head-fuck cool fronts blow through over the past month or so (Ahhh...it's finally fall...wait...NO IT'S NOT! It's 89 degrees and humid! Sucker!! Here's some mid-November mosquito bites just for funzies.), but the one that blew in today may be The One that means the hot weather is done for a while. We shall see...

Before and After

I haven't had a haircut since early August. For those of you without a calendar in front of you or a normal human's sense of time, that's OVER THREE FUCKING MONTHS. Ah-hem. Anyhoo, I've colored my hair since then--grocery store/at home job--but the cut hasn't happened. And it was getting ugly. Not only did I have 1-1/2" roots, those roots were mostly grey. Fucking G.R.E.Y. Oy vey. I mean, Oy Grey.

So I finally have the chance to get my hair tended to today and...can I just say...ahhhhhhhh.

If any men are reading this, I can only equate this relief and joy to taking a massive dump while reading the Sports section of USA Today. Or cumming. Two things I know you boys enjoy immensely.

Feel free to comment away. I know that I look like the ultimate soccer mom with this cut, but trust me: in real life, the color is funky enough to have most soccer moms raising a professionally-plucked eyebrow.

Fake-Food-a-Go-Go

A fake apple, carrot, weenie and broccoli. I think we may be dealing with a bit of an oral fixation here...

I'm so very proud.

Oftentimes I tell The Geej how weird she is. I call her a Gooney-bird, and let her know that she's a complete freak. I feel that it's important that she knows this about herself before she encounters the larger world and all of its cruel inhabitants. What I really mean is that she's wonderfully quirky and has an admirably strong independent streak, even at only 15 mos. old, and that that's fantastic.

But it's oddly reassuring when I hear this same opinion about my wee one from others. From her daycare "report card" today:

"A.M. The Geej was a total goofball this morning. She is into this throwing dirt thing, and when I told her she could throw it down, she decided to eat it instead. And before I could blow her nose, she was walking around blowing her boogers out. :-)"

Awww...my dirt-eating-booger-blowing princess. This report card is SO going in the baby book.

I'm Going to be on Oprah!

Maybe.

See, a friend of mine clued me into this site that has the "what's coming up" topics on Oprah, and allows you to nominate yourself (more or less) to appear on an upcoming show. Although the "Do you suffer from extremely bad hangovers?" and "Do you know a man who has developed breasts?" topics were intruiging, I opted to go for the "Are you 30-something and want to tell your story?" topic. Here's what I wrote for my entry:

"My thirties have been a whirlwind: Moved from Chicago to Austin. Started a new job. Got married. Got divorced. Got promoted. Grandfather died. Mom got cancer, lived. I lost 41 lbs. Dad got cancer, died. Changed positions at work. Gained back the 41 lbs. I’d lost. Stepdad died. Adopted a baby girl (as a single parent)from Russia. Had a hysterectomy and discovered--surprise--I had a malignant tumor. (I'm fine, thank God.) And am in the process of buying my first home. Whew! Somehow, I'm still standing and still smiling, although it hasn't been easy. If you want a guest who's done it all in their 30s, I'm your gal. Thanks!"

I'm expecting a call any moment now. Don't worry--I won't forget you when I'm famous.

Frozen Foods I Love

I very rarely actually get to cook for myself these days, what with the Geej and all, so when I DO actually get to eat food that isn't Geej leftovers (Are you gonna eat that last bite of banana? Cool. Can I have it?), it's usually of the frozen/microwave variety. So now, an homage to the stuff that sustains me. In no particular order, I dig:

1. Stouffer's Spinach Souffle
I actually haven't had this in a long time, but I fucking love it. Have since I was a kid. It takes about 5 hours to cook in the oven, but it's so worth it.

2. Morningstar Farms Veggie Corn Dogs
I know you meat-itarians are going, "Yuck!" But seriously, these things taste just like the pig lips weenie variety you know and love.

3. Boca Breakfast Sausage Patties
Love 'em. Eat 'em for dinner sometimes. The Geej likes them too.

4. Hain Pure Foods Veggie Bowls
They're so damn good. Nice mixtures of vegetables (like green peas, green beans and Brussels sprouts, for instance) that you steam in their own bowl with these light, flavorful sauces that enhance (but don't mask) the flavor of the veggies.

5. Fish sticks
A holdover from childhood. Give them to me and let me drench them in lemon juice or malt vinegar, and I'm as happy as a pig in slop.

6. Anything by Amy's
Her black-eyed peas/rice bowl is great. Her pesto tortellini is great. Hell, even her vegetarian meatloaf is yummy. I heart Amy's.

7. Blue Bell Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
I really can't buy this anymore, because I have the tendency to polish off a pint within 48 hours (which is not a good thing...for my ass). But damn, I love it.

8. Marie Callendar's Cobblers
Again, haven't made this in a long time, but just getting to smell them while they cook is almost as big of a treat as eating them.

9. Grapes
If you freeze green grapes, they taste like yummy little popsicles.

10. Tater Fucking Tots.
I think I'm drooling a little. Crispy tater tots sprinkled with cayenne pepper? Heaven.

Proof that I'm insane (as if you needed any)

Here are the last 5 songs I bought off of iTunes:

• Chicago, "25 or 6 to 4"
• Adam & the Ants, "Antmusic"
• Sugarcubes, "Hit"
• Judas Priest, "You've Got Another Thing Comin'"
• Depeche Mode, "Precious"

Seriously, the "Purchased Music" section of my iTunes Library looks like a study in musical schizophrenia.

I'm a homeowner, bitches!

Well...almost. I close on 11/18. Crazy, no? I feel like such a grown up and shit. Look at me! I'm gonna have a mortgage! Yay!

So here's the skinny:
Built in 1981. 3/2. 1660 sq. ft. MIL plan. Formal dining. Kick ass covered deck. It's in south Austin (literally less than 1/2 mi. from MoPac). Has crown molding throughout. Cool fixtures and hardware. Newish appliances. Roof only 2 yrs. old. HVAC only 5 yrs. old. No foundation problems. And...perhaps most important to me these days...A DISHWASHER!!! As scared as I am about what it means to be a homeowner, I'm just as excited about what it's going to mean to have our own place. I can see the Geej and I here for quite a while.

The next few weeks are going to be beyond busy for me (I move the Saturday after Thanksgiving), so I predict sporadic postings. But once I get moved and settled, I'm sure you'll get to read a bunch of posts about paint colors and bathroom tile and different exterior door styles. Lucky you!