
And here she is modeling an overall...um...skirt, shirt-that-looks-like-a-bonnet ensemble.

We were bored, okay? Don't judge.
I have escaped from behind the fabled Pine Curtain of northeast Texas. I have learned much. Here is my tale...
It was early spring of my senior year, and I had a couple of rolls of photos taken of me posing around in no fewer than 3 outfits. [The outfit pictured included a sweater vest with bunnies and strawberries on it, and little strawberry-shaped buttons. Blech.] In some of the pictures, I'm actually holding flowers. Daffodils. In this one, however, I am leaning against a pine tree, which is VERY east Texas of me. The pictures are all totally gay. And my hair is BEYOND huge, but I thought it looked amazing that day.
12/31/year unknown
Believe it or not...
It is so...well...I'll let the words speak for themselves: (These entries are in order by month. The years are all fucked up. So are the spelling and grammar. If you see regular parentheses, those are comments from back in the day. Anything bracketed by these: [ ] are modern day comments, to help you understand the context.)
1/1/76
Dear Diary (DD),
I took my tape recorder. And put it buy the door where some girls were talking. I was recording them.
1/2/76
DD,
I went to my dad's. It was very dull. All he did was sleep and watch tv. That's why it was so dull.
1/3/76
DD,
Monday, I went to school. I was so-so. But who can help that. How do you think I draw:
1/4/76
DD,
I put water in Kim's seat. She never found out.
1/5/76
DD,
[no entry]
1/6/76
DD,
I hate Roy.
[At this point, my future stepfather Roy was dating my recently-divorced, very hot mom. I was not a fan of him, or the situation I found myself in. Obviously.]
1/7/76
I HATE ROY!
[Written in prison escapee psycho script handwriting.]
1/8/76
I Hate Hate Hate ROY!
1/9/76
DD,
Lauri, Gina's sister, is a real nice girl too. She can sing's good too.
[Apparently I went a little retarded on this day.]
1/10/82
DD,
Today I went over to Rodney Carrington's*. It wasn't too fun. I swear he's the biggest flirt! I absolutely hate Paige [his sister]! What a snob! I'm going with Kevin Heilman, but I'm in LOVE with Kevin Jones (as always)!
More,
Later
*The "Rodney Carrington" I'm writing about here is comedian/actor Rodney Carrington. He's got his own sitcom in its 2nd season on ABC. Who knew?
1/26/year unknown
Traci is very stupid. And I hate her and she sings horribble And she is so moody she thinks she is so great
1/27/various years
Here is how I write:
[Followed by handwriting samples of my signatures from 1976, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, and 82. Again, a scanner would be awesome right about now.]
1/30/76
Today is my BIRTHDAY
2/15/year unknown
Mike is so moody. One minute he's nice, next he's mean.
2/26/81
No matter how he hurts or treats me I will always love Marty Pliler. I wil love him more than any other boy. Only you, God, and I know this and that's how it will always be. Some day I hope hel love me at last half as much as I love him. I think about him continulously day or/and night. Please, let him feel and know these words as I am writing them. And someday soon let him feel the same way. I LOVE Marty Pliler. (no erase)
[I wrote "no erase," but this entire entry is scribbled over with the words "NO WAY" over it.]
2/28/81
Tonight has been a wonderful night. Me & Shelli wnt to the mall with Marty Pliler and Steve McClure. Marty asked us to go! I can't believe it! We didn't do anything though. Tammy would kill us and the last thing I want to do is hurt Tammy. We just walked around and talked and it was fun. I don't even know why I'm going out with Dale. I don't love him half as much as I like Marty. Arghhhhhhhhhhh!
Memo: [There's a "Memo" section at the end of each month.]
Mrs. Neel [my 4th grade teacher] is so so so picky. I can knot stand her!!!
Next Entry: March thru May.
Domestic Issues
I really hate when mothers get granted child support and go and party the money away and the father that busted his butt all week at work gets the kid 24/7, to make sure he is taken care of. Does this sound familiar to you?
In response to the woman that talked about her husband leaving her for a "Whataburger honey" after being married so many years. Tell her I feel sorry for her because mine left for a Golden Corral waitress that had waited on our family. When I was 38, he said he didn't want to make my living anymore, and I had been a stay-at-home mom, too. I sympathize.
I live in White Oak and have a goat, two chickens and a pet armadillo in the city limits, and no one has ever given me a hard time. This allows me to have a fresh country breakfast every morning.
Proper vs. Improper Behavior
My mother taught that people who used foul language were stupid. They weren't smart enough to know the proper words to express themselves. "Family" rated movies contain extremely offensive language. Singers and rappers can't make a recording without offensive language. These people prove my mother was right. They sure sound stupid to me.
This is a word of warning to all you "young folks" out there who seem to have little use for those of us who are showing signs of aging. One of these days, you will be where we are, and you will want to be respected, needed, included, wanted and appreciated. Just because we are gray and wrinkled doesn't make us of lesser value on this earth. In fact, we are reservoirs of knowledge and experience that may lie untapped if we are ignored.
Does anyone understand what RSVP means? Where did common etiquette go? You can't drive without your cell phone pressed to your ear and yet you can't take two minutes to use that same phone to call and say you won't be able to attend?
Entertainment and the Arts
Today I was watching a movie on TV. It had that format where part of it's cut off at the top and part cut off at the bottom. Just a narrow strip of movie in the middle. What is the purpose of this?
I really like the new Longview logo on the water tank that is near St. Mary's School. It is so pretty.
There is too much baseball on TV.
Religion
What's wrong with shacking up? It is a sin. You are afraid to make the commitment to one person. You won't think religious people are hilarious when Christ comes back. Read the Bible and learn what God wants you to do.
What is wrong with religious people these days is what is wrong with ignorant people these days. They said what is wrong with shacking up. God said, "Let every man have his own wife and let every wife have their own husband." God said it, not man. Now why don't you dispute it with God.
Women should not be leaders in a church. They should teach children and help with the social functions. Women are just not designed for leadership. Leadership is for men only. It is un-Christian for women to usurp their authority over men. This works best and makes everybody happier.
Patriotism
I would just like to remind people who fly the Texas flag that the white is supposed to go on top, not the red. I noticed one today that is flying upside down. If you are going to fly them, they need to be flown right.
It seems to me that every idiotic idea originated in California. If you hear of a new scam, 10-to-1 odds is that it originated in Oklahoma. I am certainly glad I am a Texan.
Stop criticizing George Bush and calling him Dubya. Have respect for the president of the United States of America. If you can do a better job than he is doing, get up there and do it yourself or keep your mouth shut. Amen and amen.
Nature
I wish people would realize trees are for the forest and not for the city. Put the trees where they belong. If you are going to have a shade tree, please keep it topped so there won't be any danger of it killing you when it falls.
Chickens are penned up. Armadillos run wild and that is why you see them dead on the road. So you see, you're not so smart.
I just wanted to know if anyone out there has a strange, little, white bird that's been coming around lately? He is real white and about the size of a sparrow and very aggressive with the other birds. I would like to know if anyone has seen one like that and what it is.
Health and Science
Mayo Clinic doctors proved, fat in a proper diet does not make fat. Tests in England showed nothing detrimental to one's health in beef and pork. Vegetarians, most of whom look pale and undernourished, can now enjoy a well-balanced diet.
It takes about 50 years of smoking a pack a day to put a few black spots on your lungs. It only takes about four days for a cola to completely dissolve a nail and only two days to dissolve a T-bone steak.
My brothers and I used to chase the "mosquito truck" and ride in that cloud of DDT or whatever they used back in the early 1960s and there's nothing wrong with us. As a matter of fact, we see better than most folks, thanks to the extra eyes in our foreheads.
What “They” Need and/or Should Do
After witnessing a man at a health club die today, they really need defibrillators with trained staff to use them. Somebody needs to check into having defibrillators at health clubs.
I was in the Marshall Wal-Mart and met a guy in there, Glen in maintenance, who was the politest person, and he helped me find what I needed. They need more people like that in their stores.
I just want to say that I am tired of people putting down truck drivers. They better remember that the only thing not delivered by a truck driver is a baby. They better think about it.
Unclassifiable, yet still very wise
I'm going to get on a plane and go some place, any place where it is snowing.
Everybody don't like Pepsi-Cola. I am a Coke drinker, and I would like to find a restaurant in Longview that I could buy a Coke in.
I am going to use my tax refund to buy a gun and a Bible.
But don't buy it. Not even for a minute. Because mere seconds before this sad, sad photo was taken of my little Olivia Twist baby, I took THIS photo:
She's a future Oscar winner, no doubt. That, by the way, is "Bedtime Bear" that she's holding. It's a Care Bear, and no, I didn't buy it for her.