It was a sad day in Hootie-ville...

Have you seen that god-dang Burger King "Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch" commercial they're airing ad naseum (pun intended)?! Oh my GOD. I want to vomit every time this 30-second piece of mindrot comes on the screen. If you haven't seen it it's because a) you don't have a t.v., b) you live in Norway, or c) you're damn lucky and you should run out right now and buy a lottery ticket.
First of all, it features Darius Rucker, lead singer of the uber-shitty 90s band "Hootie and the Blowfish" in a Nudie suit, complete with cowboy hat, strolling, strumming and singing a vaguely country sounding ditty as he wanders through a hyper-reality/borderline surrealistic set that is apparently the mystical "Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch" we all remember from childhood fairytales. Ooh! How clever! Not only is it a colon-clogging sandwich, it's a state of mind! I'll order 5, with extra bacon please!
At the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch, there are "chicken breast trees," "streams of bacon ranch," "cheddar paved streets," and "tumbleweeds of bacon." Tumbleweeds of bacon? How high do you have to be to even come up with such a concept. Oh yeah, and there are buxom, sexy maidens and vaguely gay cowboys who love scarfing down some Burger King. And presiding over it all is BK himself, sporting a very, VERY scary Mardi Gras-type oversized plastic head while he's pushing some starlet (whose name I'm sure I'm supposed to know) on a swing while she suggestively says, "Come and get it!" or some such shit. It's just so horrifying and stupid and gross. Not that fast food commercials are ever anything but, but still... I think this one is a hall-of-famer in the Museum of Utter Crap.