Friday, July 11, 2008

Check this out (the Asian edition):

A workmate of mine may have gotten the best fortune cookie fortune of all freakin' time:
Also? Explain to me what the hell is going on here?!:
When my dad died, he left me nothing. Yes, this still upsets me because he didn't take the time to say, "Hey, you know what? This MATTERS to me that my one and only child have this thing of mine and know what it meant to me." I'm not talking gold nugget jewelry or a gun collection people (although, both of those things COULD have been my legacy), I'm talking something funky and trivial, but that mattered to him. Something that would REMIND me of him as a person.
So after he died, I had a very limited time to look through his things and figure out what I wanted. Picture this: I'm going through my dead father's meager belongings, while--all the while--my stepmother is supervising by looking over my shoulder. I'm sorry, but this was a very intense, personal and intimate thing I was doing, and I didn't appreciate her intrusion. It's its own bowl of bullshit.
But anyway, one of the things I discovered during my exploration through his stuff was this set of sake bottles that he once told me that a friend of his had brought him back from Japan. I don't know if I was more surprised that a) he actually had friends who would venture all the way to Japan or b) that he'd kept these bottles for so long (since the late 70s). At any rate, they were way cool and empty, so I decided to add them to my rather pitiful pile of take-aways.
So here's one of the bottles:

It's hand painted bone china. Very freakin' cool looking Kabuki-esque characters. I display this bottle on the buffet/bar furniture in my dining room.

And that's all well and good except for the fact that this bottle IS HAUNTED!!!!

Despite the fact that this bottle is empty, brownish reddish blood (or something else) slowly seeps from its invisible cracks until it looks like a Kabuki massacre.

What the HELL, people?! Somebody needs to 'splain this to me.


Karla said...



Seriously, that's fucked up.

Marti said...

Wow, that is freaky.

Mags said...

I'm with Karla.

Get that thing OUT of your house before it tries to kill you. ( itself on the floor, so you will cut your foot, and thus will get gangrene, and eventually DIE).

Badger said...

Dude! Try packing it full of salt and putting it in a container that's ALSO full of salt and leaving it there for a little while (like a few days or a week or whatever). Just check on it now and then to make sure the salt isn't eating off the painting/etching.

If that doesn't work, I can come over and throw down some freaky pagan hoodoo on its ass.