Wednesday, June 18, 2008

In which I--once again--prove how damn awesome I am.

Today at work I:
  • Managed to get a big black whiteboard marker mark right across the entire left boob-ish area of my bright green shirt while I was leading a meeting and trying to make some important points on said whiteboard
  • Then followed THAT up with wetting the entire left boob-ish area of my bright green shirt with soap and water in the ladies room in an effort to remove the large black mark, then had to do the wet-boob-walk-of-shame back to my cube where I then...
  • Tooted (not stinky, just noisy) loudly enough in my cube to receive two immediate IMs from neighboring cube-dwellers saying, "Dude, was that YOU?!" and "I heard that!" respectively (I've been eating a lot of roughage...what can I say?!)
  • Soon after the Toot-heard-round-the-world, I had to go into ANOTHER meeting, and upon entering tripped and fell in the meeting room, somehow managing to hit a file cabinet (with my shoulder) a chair (with my knee) and the floor (with all the rest of me) HARD and, as an added bonus, managed to slice the palm of my right hand open with about a 2 1/2" cut on the in-floor air conditioning vent while also scoring some wicked carpet burn on my right knee (because I was wearing a skirt, natch) and some lovely looking surface scrapes on my right forearm and elbow
Oh, and did I mention that I'm going to a GAME SHOW AUDITION at 7am in the freakin' morning?

I swear, I am seriously the biggest dork I know. No question.


Packsaddle said...

Other than all that, how was your day?

Hecticmom Undone said...

I think we might have been twisted twins separated at birth.

I'm so sorry - but your toot comment left me in hysterics.

(Shortly after I returned to work from Maternity leave, I was giving a presentation to all male major big wigs and I "let down" right in the middle of the presentation. Big milk spots just suddenly appeared very noticibly in my boobish places. Horrifying. I just grabbed my notebook, held it close and kept on presenting. One of the audience members later said I looked nervous about half way through - cause I was clutching my notebook. Sheesh!)

Anyway, what a suck day you had. Good thing you didn't lock your keys in your car too. Cause - that'd be ME on Monday. :)

But, that is still better than one of my employees signing off his email with "Chow" to an Italian manager instead of "Ciao." We are still making fun of him for that.

SUS said...

Child Story Alert: Lately when Lucy toots, she always says, "Sound!"

While in EPCOT this spring, I was getting information about some alcoholic glowing drinks from some fellow tourists, I tripped overy my own big fat feet and landed ass first on top of my purse and rolled over, and suddenly those all tourists in the World Showcase were my gynecologist (and I hadn't even started drinking yet).

And you haven't yet fallen into the "Reply All" embarrasing story camp yet, have you? The best "Reply All" story I've heard involves a VP at a cosmetics/spa care company, a bikini wax, and the word "labia."

Hey, good luck today!

A.M. said...

So what health plan does your co. offer? =p