What a difference a day makes.

Did you read my post from yesterday? No?

Well, go ahead and scroll down then. Read it. Look at the last photo. I took it last night.

I'll wait...

Okay, now look at THIS: Can you even BELIEVE this shit? I lie on my left side when I'm sleeping a lot, and last night, every time I tried to roll over and get comfortable, I was like, "OUCH!" When I woke up this morning, It was totally swollen and huge and gorgeous (as you see above). I can barely lift my freakin' arm to do things like wash my hair or put my shirt on. BH is threatening to make a suit for me out of bubble-wrap since I'm so damn accident prone.

On some happier news, please check out the inter-species encounters going on in our house: That's Diane saying, "Hello? Dog? Are you there? It's me, Diane."

And here's Doug's less conventional approach at interacting with the dog.

No, we don't allow them to mingle...yet. But I foresee them getting to hang out at some point in the future.

Speaking of the cats, we pulled 11 cat toys, a battery, a chunk of broken glass, and a quarter out from under the oven tonight.

In which I--once again--prove how damn awesome I am.

Today at work I:

• Managed to get a big black whiteboard marker mark right across the entire left boob-ish area of my bright green shirt while I was leading a meeting and trying to make some important points on said whiteboard
• Then followed THAT up with wetting the entire left boob-ish area of my bright green shirt with soap and water in the ladies room in an effort to remove the large black mark, then had to do the wet-boob-walk-of-shame back to my cube where I then...
• Tooted (not stinky, just noisy) loudly enough in my cube to receive two immediate IMs from neighboring cube-dwellers saying, "Dude, was that YOU?!" and "I heard that!" respectively (I've been eating a lot of roughage...what can I say?!)
• Soon after the Toot-heard-round-the-world, I had to go into ANOTHER meeting, and upon entering tripped and fell in the meeting room, somehow managing to hit a file cabinet (with my shoulder) a chair (with my knee) and the floor (with all the rest of me) HARD and, as an added bonus, managed to slice the palm of my right hand open with about a 2 1/2" cut on the in-floor air conditioning vent while also scoring some wicked carpet burn on my right knee (because I was wearing a skirt, natch) and some lovely looking surface scrapes on my right forearm and elbow

Oh, and did I mention that I'm going to a GAME SHOW AUDITION at 7am in the freakin' morning?

I swear, I am seriously the biggest dork I know. No question.

An exercise in humility.

• You go to Kohl's and buy two packs of long-overdue bikini underwear.
• Get them home, free them from their packaging, and throw them in the laundry.
• Once washed and dried, you look happily forward to wearing your new unders and throwing away several of your old unders that are riddled with holes.
• You pull on the first pair and realize that, oh holy Mother of God, they're not one, but TWO sizes too small.
• You catch a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror wearing these too-small unders.
• You quietly take them off and throw them away.

(Luckily, only one package was the wrong size...and I SWEAR, I double checked to make sure they were the right size before purchasing. But still...)

3 random photos

Random photo #1:

Taken Thursday morning. I'd just gotten The Geej dressed for school, and she looked so fuhdorable (new slang I'm trying to popularize that means "fucking adorable") that I had to take a picture. Okay, is it just me, or does she look like 14 in this picture?! Wow. There are some photos of her that I take where I can totally see into the future. This is one of them. She's such a stunner, and it's totally okay for me to say that because I had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Random photo #2:

This is one of my favorite pictures of my mom. It was unearthed from a box full of flood-damaged photos that we discovered after my grandmother died. There are a bunch of great snapshots from this particular day. The other little baby is my mom's cousin Butch. Yes, that was his given name. Anyway, they were apparently running around in their diapers and getting into all sorts of mischief. Eventually, they both got a bath in a washtub up on that porch. I know this, because there are some amazing snapshots of them going nuts with the water.

I had a similar one of me, about age 3, sitting on the front porch sporting a badass macrame vest that my hippie aunt had made for me. I'm tilting a can of Budweiser up to the sky, having a big ol' swig, and you can see my mom's hand reaching for it. I don't know what happened to that photo, but how great would it be to have both this one and that one side-by-side in a frame.

Random photo #3:

'Member the other day when I wrote about my new glasses? Well, here I am with them on.

Go ahead. Ask me any kind of brainy question. I'm sure I can answer it as long as I'm wearing these specs.

Picture this:

It's 5:25 p.m., and I'm holding The Geej in my arms. We're listening to "Party Shuffle" on my iTunes. Suddenly, "Root Down" by the Beastie Boys comes on. I crank it, and we start dancing. I'm asking her (and then answering), "How you gonna kick it? Gonna kick it root down!" She fucking loves it. We are TOTALLY rocking out, shaking our groove things, and she's laughing her ass off. When I stop moving, she starts bouncing in my arms, wanting more. Hilarious. It's official: I've become one of "those moms". Yowzah.