Even when she yelled, "Fuck you! I'm never coming back here! Good luck!" slammed the door and stormed out on Christmas eve, not caring that my 9 year old daughter was watching.
Even when she said to me, "You're mean and hateful. You make everyone around you miserable. You need help."
Even when she said to me, "I feel sorry for your husband and your daughter having to live with you because you're such a bitch."
Even when she told me my house was "disgusting," and a "torture chamber" for my child. Even then.
She would not apologize. Or rather, she could not apologize.
She couldn't understand how heavy her words were, how they bruised and beat me.
She doesn't understand the role she had played in the fracture of our relationship. In her mind, I've built the chasm between us. It is all my fault because I am just such an awful, uncaring person.
She will never admit that she might be the slightest bit wrong, even though she is the only person on this planet who believes all these horrible things about me.
This is what she thinks of me, and she will never, ever apologize for the damage she's done.