An exercise in humility.

• You go to Kohl's and buy two packs of long-overdue bikini underwear.
• Get them home, free them from their packaging, and throw them in the laundry.
• Once washed and dried, you look happily forward to wearing your new unders and throwing away several of your old unders that are riddled with holes.
• You pull on the first pair and realize that, oh holy Mother of God, they're not one, but TWO sizes too small.
• You catch a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror wearing these too-small unders.
• You quietly take them off and throw them away.

(Luckily, only one package was the wrong size...and I SWEAR, I double checked to make sure they were the right size before purchasing. But still...)