Anticlimactic.

You know how in "American Idol" auditions, there are a gazillion people lined up for hours and hours waiting for their shot at fame, and then (they at least make it appear like) the people auditioning go in, do their thing, then know immediately whether or not they're going to Hollywood? And there's all this excitement and craziness? Well, picture the opposite of that, and that's what the "Don't Forget the Lyrics" auditions were like today.

I got up before the crack of dawn, got cuted up, and headed out the door at 6:40am. Got downtown to the hotel only to realized that--damnit!!--I'd accidentally left the Geej's booster seat in my backseat. So I had to turn it around and go all the way back home to drop it off so BH could take her to school.

Then my "You need gas...like NOW!" light came on, so I had to stop and take care of that. I was so flustered that I put my gas purchase ($48!) on the wrong credit card.

Finally got back on the road and got downtown and to the hotel at about 7:30. I signed in and filled out the paperwork (lots of questions like "What's the luckiest thing that's ever happened to you?" "What's the most outrageous thing you've ever done?" "How many songs are on your MP3 player?" "Who are your 5 favorite bands?" etc.), got a digital photo made and stapled to my paperwork, and then sat in a big room to wait. I was #43.

In the room, there was a big screen t.v. playing episodes of the show, and all the other auditionees in the room were singing along--loudly--with the contestants on the screen. I was playing along silently in my head, and I was winning. The other people in the room were every color, age, and body type you can imagine. There were some who'd really tried to "be wacky" with their outfits, while others were in their nurse scrubs. There were a couple of gals there with babies in strollers. And of course, there were the stereotypical obnoxious "theatre types" who never stopped chatting about themselves to those who were unlucky enough to be seated next to them.

Anyway, the next step was you got called into a big room where there were four tables--one against each wall--with a person seated behind them. You walked up to the table that DIDN'T have someone already auditioning in front of it, and gave the person your paperwork and the audition commenced. My gal was super petite and very "put together" as they say. Outfit. Hair. Make-up. Insanely white teeth. All very precisely done. We chatted about some of the stuff on my sheet, and then she asked me to sing something. Mags, you should be proud: I rocked it with ONJ's "Magic" from Xanadu. She told me I had a very nice voice and she also complimented my hair color. We chatted a bit more, and then she shook my bandaged hand, and it was over.

They're doing auditions until 7pm tonight, so she said that if I was going to be called back, it would happen later tonight or tomorrow.

I did the best I could, but I didn't really feel like she and I "clicked." She seemed pretty stiff and sort of fake--both things that I absolutely am not. I would really, really love to get a shot at being on this show because, dudes, I could fucking with it all. I'm dead serious. But hey, if it doesn't happen for me, at least I tried. Right?