It's been a while. Since March, exactly, since I've written about my conversations with my Peggy Hill Celebrity Impersonator mother, Cheryl. And believe me, it's not because we haven't been chatting. After spending a month in a hotel room with her in Russia and the past three weeks with her here in my house, it goes without saying that we've talked...a lot. But what follows is one of the top three most bizarre conversations I've ever had with her in my entire life. And that's saying something. This happened at the end of last week.
Me (while looking in the fridge, somewhat suspiciously): Mom? Did you clean the refrigerator out?
Mom: Well...I threw out a few things...
Me: Did you throw out a container of cream cheese?
Mom: Yes, but it was empty.
Me (after a lengthy pause): No. It wasn't.
Mom: What?
Me: My pot was in there.
Mom (after a lengthy pause): Oh.
Me (not meaning it, at all): It's no big deal.
Mom: Well...I just threw it out this afternoon...there wasn't much in the trashbag...it's still out there...
Me (envisioning the trash can that's been sitting the gazillion degree heat, with nasty Diaper Genie "pearls-o-poo" diapers as in the bottom of whatever else is in there): It's okay. I'm not going to dig around in the trash for it.
Mom: I'm sorry. I'll go get it.
Me: No! It's not that big of a deal.
Mom (seriously curious): How much was it?
Me: Not much...like a quarter ounce...
Mom: No, how much did it cost?
Me: I'd say there was at least $60 of smoke-able stuff in there.
Mom: Oh! Well I'm going to get it.
A few minutes later, she comes in from outdoors holding a catfood and baby-food carrot covered "Organic Valley" container. I shamefully thank her. We haven't spoken of this since. I still cannot believe this happened.
1 comment:
Damn, you really CAN tell your mom anything! That's AMAZING!
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