Monday, February 21, 2005

I heart cartoon characters.

Can't help it. I loves me some cartoons. So here are some big ups to those damn line drawings who make me laugh enough to pee my pants. Especially if I'm high:

Ralph Wiggum, "The Simpsons"
I seriously love this kid. Almost every line he's ever uttered on "The Simpsons" has been classic. "Sleep is where I'm a Viking!" "Me fail English? That's unpossible!" Hall-of-Fame-worthy.
Even when other characters just talk about him, it's funny. Case in point: in a recent episode, his dad, Chief Wiggum was trying to convince Bart not to spill the beans about something because he (the Chief) would lose his recent appointment as Police commissioner, and he said, "Imagine what it'll do to Ralphie! He doesn't understand where the world goes when I close the curtains." (I'm paraphrasing, but that's the gist.)

Master Shake from "Aqua Teen Hunger Force"
What an asshole, this guy...cup...alien. The cockier he tries to be, the more of a retarded dick he comes off as. I've actually known human beings like this, but it's much funnier and easier to take when it's a talking milkshake.

The Mayor, from "Tom Goes to the Mayor"
This guy's just psychotic. I love the idea of Jefferton and this guy as its wacked-out mayor. Plus, anything that Mr. Show's Bob Odenkirk is involved is automatically brilliant.

Pepe Le Pew, from "Looney Tunes"
Is there really anything funnier than a smelly, French date-rapist? I think not...

Happy Time Harry from "Aqua Teen Hunger Force"
Voiced by Mr. Show's David Cross, Happy Time Harry is a depressed, chemically-dependent doll complete with a shiv for a hand, a wicked comb-over and "Action Bills." He's so depressing to be around that he convinces another doll, "Jiggle Billy," a moonshine-swilling hillbilly whose catchphrase is, "Commence to Jigglin'!" to blow his own head off with a musket. Fucking brilliant.

Homestar Runner from
Again, another endearingly moronic character with classic lines. But whereas Ralph Wiggum is a bewildered, nose-picking human boy, I'm not quite sure what the hell Homestar is. I just know he's an idiot, and I love him.

Jimmy from "South Park"
I know, I know... there's nothing funny about a physically handicapped cartoon character with a massive stutter. Oh wait, yes there is!!

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