Talking With My Daughter About Prince

Yesterday while I was at work listening to my iTunes on random shuffle, Prince's "Baby I'm a Star" came on. I cranked it up all the way, did some borderline embarrassing chair bopping, and had to restrain myself from bursting into song. "Might not know it now, but baby you'll find out I'm a STAR!" I was already in a pretty good mood, but this musical boost put me over the top.

Later, when I left work, my Prince sing-along hit full tilt in the car on the way to pick up The Geej. Selections from "Purple Rain" were joined by classics from "1999," "Parade," and other albums of his. However, when I got to the Geej's aftercare place, the iPod was turned off, and the concert came to an end.

Until this morning.

We got in the car to head to school, and memories of the prior day's joyful, funky songfest made me hungry for more, so I turned on "Baby I'm a Star" again--where it all began.

This is the conversation that followed.

****
Geej: Mommy, can you turn it down.
Me: No.
Geej: Just a bit?
Me: Okay (turning it down one notch).
Me: "Baby, look me over/tell me do you like what you see?
Baby, I ain't got no money, but honey I'm rich on personality."
Geej: (Sort of horrified that I'm so in to it and clearly not "feeling it" as they say) What IS this?!
Me: This is Prince! Isn't it awesome?
Geej: No! It's HORRIBLE!
Me: (Ignoring her and continuing to sing) "I don't wanna stop, til I reach the top...I'm a STAR...whoa YEAH!"
Geej: Do you really like this?
Me: Um, clearly. Is it just too funky for you? (Smiling at her in the back seat)
Geej: (Unimpressed) No, it's just too awful for me.
Me: Oh come ON! This was one of my favorite albums in high school...it was one of the biggest albums of the decade! Prince is super talented. He can play a ton of different instruments--piano, guitar, bass, drums... And you should see him DANCE. He's AMAZING!!
Geej: Is he still alive?
Me: Yes.
Geej: How old is he?
Me: I don't know...maybe around 50.
Geej: So he's older than you.
Me: Yes. He's practically dead.
Geej: No, but when he's 50 MORE years old he'll be 100, and then he'll probably be dead.
Me: Do you want to see what he looks like (picking up the iPod to show her his picture).
Geej: (In a totally dry, teen-agery tone and timed perfectly with the soulful first solo guitar notes of "Purple Rain") No, Mommy. I don't care about Prince, and I've got to get out of the car or I'm going to be tardy.
Me: (Turning down the music) Okay. Well...I love you (kiss), and I'll see you this evening. Have a great day.
Geej: Okay. Love you. Bye. (Gets out of the car and walks toward the school doors).
Me: "Never meant to cause you any sorrow. Never meant to cause you any pain..."

And scene.

My Daughter, The Goth

A few weeks ago, The Geej was playing one of those "virtual dress up" games on our computer. You know what I'm talking about: there's a generic male or female figure and you get to choose their clothes, accessories, hair, make-up, etc. Well, she LOVES these little games and plays them whenever she's allowed on to the computer. So I go in to check on her progress, and I notice that the figure she's creating isn't wearing the tranny Vegas showgirl-type outfit The Geej usually opts for. This virtual girl is dressed in black, with black hair and dark makeup, including black lipstick. When I ask what's up, The Geej rolls her eyes at me and explains, "Mommy, she's a goth." And even though it wasn't spoken, there was an undeniable silent "Duh!" that followed her statement.

So, I decided to play dumb, and asked, "What's a goth?"

According to The Geej, "A goth wears all black and is kind of spooky and has black make-up and wears spiky jewelry and can break branches and not even feel anything." She knows this because one of her friends from after-care told her what goths are.

Um...okay.

Fast forward to yesterday. We were invited to a "Pop Star" birthday party for a friend's 8 year old daughter. This was a first for me in terms of birthday party themes. And believe me, we've been to a LOT of birthday parties. The gist of it is: the guests come to the party dressed in their version of popstar finery, then the gals running the party rehearse a song with the group (of girls, presumably), add some choreography, get them all gussied up with some make-up and accessories, and then film a "music video" of the group performing the song. It's all very professional, with a backdrop set up, microphones, a digital video camera, etc.

The Geej is a total drama queen (surprise!) who spends a great deal of time singing in the shower, the bathtub, in front of the mirror, in the car, at breakfast....you get the idea.Suffice it to say, she was PSYCHED about attending this party. What we needed for the party (besides a gift, of course) was a rockin' outfit for The Geej. And without hesitation, she said she wanted to "be a goth." So we went to the gothiest place in the world: Justice! For Girls! Have you ever been to this place? It's like a sequin factory threw up all over a Justin Bieber concert. It's horrifying, and of course The Geej freakin' LOVES the place.

At Justice! we got a black skirt (sparkly), a black tank top (sparkly), and a black cropped sweater (also, sparkly). She wanted some black (sparkly) boots, but there weren't any in her size (thank Jeebus). Then we went to Claire's Boutique where I thought her head was going to explode due to the sheer amount of stuff that she wanted hanging from every wall and fixture. We ended up getting some black fingerless glove-type things (sparkly), some blue and purple clip-in hair feathers (sparkly) along with a necklace with the word "ROCK" on it.

We zoomed home, and my little sparkle goth tore off her normal clothes and put on her new duds, including some black (non-sparkly) leggings she already had. She was so excited by the completed ensemble, I was afraid she might explode. While gazing at herself lovingly in the mirror, she said, "I look HOT!" I thought BH might keel over.

So, in case you're wondering, THIS is what a seven year old sparkle goth looks like:

Spooky, no?

On our way to the party, I asked her if she wanted to listen to some goth music...you know, to get in the mood. And my Taylor Swift/Selena Gomez-loving child enthusiastically said yes. But by about the 10th bar of "Bela Lugosi's Dead," however, I think she was really confused. "When is she going to start singing? What is that noise they're making? Is that music? Why is he singing like that? Is that his real voice?" It was kind of awesome.

I can't wait to introduce her to The Damned.

My Crazy Kid

A quicky while I've still got a few minutes left on this crappy airport wi-fi.

The Geej has long enjoyed role-playing type play. She's had a variety of characters in the past--Lisa, Karla, and some mysterious creature named Norway come to mind. However, they were always just variations on a theme. Each one was an older "Mommy" character who (surprise!) worked where I work, was married to Daschel and had a baby named Sally. She is always dressed kind of fancy and wears high heeled shoes. She also likes talking on the cell phone and is harassed frequently by a very demanding boss.

But lately, she's added a new character to her repertoire. It's a little old grumpy man who walks with a cane and has a very distinctive voice and odd mannerisms.  And this past weekend, she came up with a name for him: Yuta (pronounced You-tah) Jones. Where did this come from? I have no idea. She'll just randomly yell, "Vote for Yuta Jones!" or, "Yuta Jones does not like potatoes!" in her weird little old man voice, and it just about kills me. She has dubbed me Cecil Jones, Yuta's brother. We live in a cabin in the woods, and she wants to write a movie about us.

Here's Yuta in action:


Seriously people?! I don't know where she gets it.

The Gloved One

A few weeks ago, I bought The Geej this little packet of safety equipment to complement the roller skates Santa brought her for Christmas. It came with knee pads, elbow pads, and gloves. Fingerless light blue gloves with pink flowers on them.

That evening, she put the gloves on and commented about how cool they were and how they made her look "at least ten years old".

Well, now she sports one glove every day. It's not because she lost one of the gloves. Oh no. This is some kind of fashion statement.

In fact, right now, she is sleeping while wearing one of these gloves. (I took this photo right before she went to bed.)

One of the reasons this whole thing cracks me up is that The Geej has never been a "wacky" dresser. You know the kids I'm talking about: the ones that you see at the grocery store wearing rain boots (when it's not raining), two different knee-high socks, a sparkly tutu over a camo skirt, a tie dyed tank top, a cape and a crown. She's always been particular about what she wears, but in a conservative (rather than experimental) way. So this one little bit of funk that she's decided to add to her wardrobe is very endearing to me. It will be interesting to see how long it lasts...and if The Glove is a gateway to wackier things in the future.

Actual breakfast time conversation from this morning:

The Geej:  I learned a funny word. Wanna hear it?

Karla May:  Sure. What is it?

G:  Hillbilly! Isn't that funny?

KM:  Yes! Where did you learn that?

G:  I'm not sure...

KM:  What IS a hillbilly?

G:  It's someone who runs around kind of crazy and sings crazy songs.

[Pause]

G:  About hills.

Snippet

Scene: In the car, stuck in traffic. On the way to a weekly summer day camp. Crowded House is playing on the car stereo via iPod. Mom is singing along. Daughter, in booster seat in back, is writing in a spiral notebook. Suddenly looks up and poses a question.

Daughter: Did you kiss Daddy goodbye this morning?
Mom: (Turning down stereo). What, Honey?
Daughter: Did you give Daddy a kiss goodbye today?
Mom: Yes. Why?
Daughter: (Nonchalantly going back to writing in the notebook). I didn't see you.
Mom: Well, we did.
Daughter: (Pause) Do you kiss each other in the bed?
Mom: What? Yes.
Daughter: (Mumbles something inaudible.)
Mom: Did you just say "Horrible"?
Daughter: No! I said coooool.

And, scene.

The Geej's Christmas List, Verbatim

Dear Santa Claus,

For Christmas I would like:

• A Barbie house with three Barbies and kids and stuff in it—a couch, and a potty and a sink, and a bed for a mom and kids, a backyard, a balcony, and a baby room
• A bell for my bike
• Some real gum—a whole stack of it in all different flavors
• My own real iPod with Hannah Montana music on it and night-night music you can put on there · Earphones for my iPod
• A little thing that you can strap on to a table so that my babydoll can sit in it and eat dinner
• I would also like my own bakery (Real)
• A movie called “PowerPuff Girls and Christmas”
• A whole new earring box with new earrings in it
• A get-ready thing with everything in it that my mommy uses to get ready
• Lipstick
• Stuff to make my room and bathroom smell good (spray)
• My own real computer like my mom’s
• A t.v. in my room to watch
• An ambulance with a hospital and a fire truck that I can play with with my toys (I already have a police car, so you don’t have to get me one). I want stuff that goes in them like a nurse, a doctor, and a little wheelchair that you can push people in that has wheels.
• A school house with a bell
• A 100-piece puzzle because I already know all of mine
• A doctor and nurse for cats and little cats that can fit in there and a place that it waits with its mom
• A mop to mop stuff
• A pretend hamster wheel for my pretend hamster and a little bed and it has its own comb and spray and its own little bath and its own cage and a little thing that they drink some water
• A pretend playground like my plaground at school for my Little People to play on

And for Dah: I want something purple that when you walk in it makes her smell and it smells super good everywhere and a purple candle

Martha Stewart in Training.

The Geej spent Saturday night with my mother. One of the things The Geej loves about my mom's house--besides the fact that she has her OWN room with her OWN toys including a huge and fully-furnished dollhouse and a play kitchen and her OWN computer--is the fact that it has stairs. I too was fascinated with stairs when I was little--always wanting to climb any staircase I saw so that I could discover what was "up there". The Geej has requested, in fact, that our next house have not only a swimming pool and a playground, but also a flight of stairs.

So, when you marry her love of stairs with her excitement about Christmas getting ever nearer, I guess I shouldn't be too suprised with the decorating project she undertook while out at my mother's this weekend.

BEHOLD!! The Most Festive Stair Rail of All Time!!

And yes, it goes all the way to the top. (Here, The Most Festive Stair Rail of All Time is pictured with the artist.)

Feel free to adorn any stair rails you might have in YOUR house with multi-colored, sparkly pipe cleaners if you'd like. As you can see, it adds class and a splash of color, just in time for the holidays.

Overheard conversation between BH and The Geej:

BH: You need to finish up your bath, or you're going to turn into a prune.
Geej: What's a prune?
BH: It's a dried plum, and it will give you a diarrhea.
Geej: What's diarrhea.
BH: I'll draw you a picture.

Immediately after this conversation, she went back to signing, "I wanna rock and roll all night, and party ev-uh-ree day" in the bathtub and he went back to watching soccer on t.v. like this was the most normal conversation in the world.

The two of them kill me.

And now, a word from The Geej...

While putting her to bed tonight, here's the tall tale she told me about a boy in her class:

HER: Patrick picked up a hermit crab and he smelled it and it bited him on the nose and then he smelled something REALLY bad and his nose turned to dust and fell off.

ME: Really? So does he just have a big hole in the middle of his face where his nose used to be?

HER: YES! And if you meet him, you can kiss him on it.

Sometimes I just wonder about what goes on in that head of hers...

The Wisdom of The Geej (a.k.a. Things that make you go hmmm...)

"Mommy. Do you know what mashed potatoes are made of? Carrots!!"

"I don't want to fall off the playscape because I'll get my face all scrumpled up."

"Maximus is going to visit his grandfather in a place that's near Italy, in Italy."

"H-U-N-T-S. That spells ketchup. Did you know I could read?"

"I'm allergic to rice." [Me: No you're not. You just don't LIKE rice.] "That's right. I'm allergic."

"Miss Kim says we can take a field trip to San Antonio if all of us can 'just get it together.' I hope I can get it together!!"

"When you and Dah came to Russia to get me in the baby store, were there other babies there?"

It's not a "lava lamp," it's a "volcano light."

So sayeth The Geej.

Conversations from the playground.

Geej: Maximus asked me if I have boobs. (Maximus is one of her admirers at school, and yes, that's his real name.)

Me: What did you tell him?

Geej: I told him that I have Barbie boobs.

Me: What are Barbie boobs?

Geej: You know...(shit-eating grin crosses her face). Big boobs. Like yours.

Me: Did you ask him if HE has boobs?

Geej: Yes. He said he has a tail.

How did I end up on this mailing list? Precious? Yes. Well made? I'm sure. But I'm not really the type to spend $198 on a dress for The Geej to frolic around on the beach in.

Speaking of The Geej, I'm pretty this little scamp could give her a run for her money in the comedy department:



Too tired for much else tonight. I will tell you, however, that I picked up my car from the body shop today, and they did a FABULOUS job. All of the dents and scratches and dings are gone gone. And they even washed, vacuumed, tire-dressed, and Armor-alled the inside of my car before I picked it up. Nice dudes.