N-word = C-word

Got the news late this afternoon: this is my diagnosis. Doctor wants to remove the whole thyroid due to the other little n-words hanging out along with the largest n-word. Surgery will probably be scheduled within the next two weeks. After it is removed, my care will be handed over to an endocrinologist who will put me on synthetic hormones for the rest of my life.

I'm not afraid of the cancer. It's super treatable and my prognosis is excellent. I am, however afraid of the utter depletion of my paid time off account (into which I am due to receive a nice disbursement on my 3/5 paycheck, but it'll be mostly wiped out because of my surgery and recuperation time). And I'm also pretty fucking terrified--phobic, actually--of being in the hospital and getting a post-surgical infection. Been there, done that. Every time I think about actually having to go in there and under the knife, I can feel my blood pressure rise and my ears start to burn and ring like I'm going to pass out. As a matter of fact, I'm going to quit typing about it.

So, yeah. I've got some major schedule adjustment to do in the coming weeks in order to figure out when all this shiz is going to go down.

All I can say right now, is thank God I had vertigo bad enough to send me to the ENT. Otherwise, who knows when (or if) this thing would've been caught.