Best comment spam EVER!

I got this in my comment in-box last night:

"The ultimate bathroom retreat is not complete without a bidet or better yet.......a portable bathroom bidet sprayer. The hand sprayer gives you superior control and water volume and if the bathroom was not designed to allow for a bidet it offers the convenience of installation on the existing toilet AND you don't have to get up and move every time! You will pay for it many times over in toilet paper savings. Available at http://www.bathroomsprayers.com"

Wow. Toilet paper savings!!

****************UPDATE************************

After I published this post, I'll be damned if "David" didn't send me ANOTHER bidet-related comment.

"It gets better (like a fine wine): Save Trees? Save money and the Earth and be clean at the same time! Get serious and add Bathroom Bidet Sprayers to all your bathrooms. I think Dr. Oz on Oprah said it best: "if you had pee or poop on your hand, you wouldn't wipe it off with paper, would you? You'd wash it off” Available at www.bathroomsprayers.com with these you won't even need toilet paper any more, just a towel to dry off! Don’t worry, you can still leave some out for guests and can even make it the soft stuff without felling guilty. It's cheap and can be installed without a plumber; and runs off the same water line to your toilet. You'll probably pay for it in a few months of toilet paper savings. And after using one of these you won't know how you lasted all those years with wadded up handfuls of toilet paper. As for water use a drought is always a concern and must be dealt with prudently but please remember that in the big picture the industrial water users always far exceed the water use of household users and in the case of toilet paper manufacture it is huge. The pollution and significant power use from that manufacturing process also contributes to global warming so switching to a hand bidet sprayer and lowering your toilet paper use is very green in multiple ways."

So "David," if you're reading this, I appreciate your persistence and your product, but you can quit sending your comments because I'm not buying the hand bidet sprayer at this time. Around MY house, we prefer to just let stuff dry up and flake off naturally. (I keed! I keed!) But really, enough with the comments. Capeesh?