I guess if I had to drive a cab around Chicago all day, I’d be insane too. Case in point: Two out of the two cab drivers we had last night were clearly nuts.
Cabbie #1 was a Middle Eastern man who spazzed when we told him we were from Texas. “I LOVE Texas women. One day, I will marry one.” We told him our friend Genie who was with us is single, and he started saying, “Is she hot? Is she a hot Texas lady? I will come down to Texas and marry her.” Then he started warning us not to open up our purses in the neighborhood he was taking us to (a swanky part of the River North entertainment district…not exactly cut-throat alley) and that he would come back and get us when we were done with dinner. Just circle and circle until we came out. Yeah, it was creepy.
Cabbie #2 was an Indian fellow from New Delhi. His opening gambit? Asking, “Do they eat frogs at that restaurant? Have you eaten frogs?” (to which Jaye replied “Yes,” of course). That opening question naturally led to, “Have you drunk the blood of the cobra?” which is apparently for sale in most Indian markets. (Thankfully—and rather surprisingly—Jaye has yet to indulge in this gastronomic adventure.) He ended by telling us a tale about how, once in Saudi Arabia, he’d asked a woman where he could find the washroom, and she called the police, who explained to him that it is against Muslim law to ask a woman such a crude question, and that if he’d been Muslim, instead of Indian, he would’ve been arrested for such an act. His take on the situation? “It’s really stupid in Saudi Arabia.”
Of course, I've got much more to say about my very bittersweet trip to Chicago, but for now, I'm off to night-night land.