Ouch.

Here are all the locations on my body where I have bruises after the roller-skating/dancing/drink-a-thon last night:

• The top of my left foot
• The front/middle of my left thigh
• My right butt cheek
• The middle of my right forearm
• The heels of both of my hands

Yes. I had fun. Waaaaaaaaaaay too much fun, in fact. Don't believe me? Well, maybe the fact that my right knee got dislocated last night and is swollen to about twice its normal size will convince you. Lucky for me, this is the fourth time I've dislocated this sucker in the past decade, so I have a plethora of knee braces lying around to assist me.

And I think you'll be happy to know that our Iranian cab driver, Jaye, and I solved the problems of the Middle East last night during our ride home. So THAT'S fixed.

God, I want someone to take me out back and shoot me.

Oy.