Wednesday sort of sucked.

Woke up this morning to my mom acting like a bitch and biting my head off for no reason. I know this whole situation has her stressed out too, but still... I asked her, "Do you think I LIKE this? Having to be taken care of? Having to have you take care of my child for me? Having you put your entire life on hold so that you can be my nursemaid?! Cuz I don't! I fucking HATE it! And the last thing I want is to fight with you. I can't handle it. It's not fair for you to attack me first thing in the morning, and I'm sorry if I'm snippy and have a short fuse lately, but if you haven't noticed I FEEL LIKE FUCKING SHIT and I'M EXHAUSTED, so cut me some fucking slack." I got the major silent treatment after that. She can be such an immature, passive aggressive witch sometimes.

Had to be at the hospital at 9:30 to get registered for my 10:00am CT appointment. After sitting in an obscenely cold waiting room in the most uncomfortable seats ever for hours, they FINALLY took me back for my scan at 11:45am, Once back there, they couldn't find a vein to get my IV started (and they said they couldn't use my PICC line for this procedure). But damn if they didn't try: Four different people, four different painful attempts, all in the same place. It was like torture. The fourth dude thought he had it. Then when they started pumping in the iodine, and I started screaming because it was burning so badly, they figured out that--OOPS--he didn't actually "have it" after all, and the iodine had gone under my skin instead of into the vein (hence the burning). So the nurses came and administered pressure and put these heat packs on my arm to try and get the iodine to dissipate because it had balled up underneath my skin, and the whole area was already swelling and bruised. Nice.

After a call to the radiologist, they decided to try and put the iodine in through the PICC line, but because the iodine is thick, and the PICC line is skinny, this whole endeavor took quite a while.

Finally got that taken care of and got the scans done, and then they were like, "You can go now." But wait: it was my understanding that the whole purpose for this visit was so that they could a) take the scan, b) have a radiologist look at the scan and compare it to my previous ones to see what the status of my god dang abdominal abscess was, c) based on that, if the abscess was diminished, remove this horrible drain from my abdomen. So when they said, "You can go," I was confused and kind of pissed off. Did ANYONE know what the fuck was going on besides me? I asked, and they said they couldn't get hold of my colo/rectal doctor, so they weren't comfortable making any decisions without talking to him. Great.

Exhausted, mom and I left. We went to lunch, and I lost it at the table. Yawning hurts. I had to yawn, and the pain it caused my diaphragm just made me start bawling. Not just because of the pain, mind you, but because of all of this shit. I'm just SO sick of being sick. It's been a month now people. I haven't been well or normal in a month. I have these moments where I just cannot take it, and I crumble. Today at lunch was one of those moments. I don't like to have pity parties for myself, but I was feeling pretty damn low today, and it was pretty pitiful.

After lunch, we came back to the house and--lo and behold--I had a message from the colo/rectal doctor's office. Called back and guess what: they want to do a FUCKING COLONOSCOPY on me on Monday. FUCK!!! Is this never going to end?! Seems there's an "air pocket" in my abdomen, and the doctor wants to have a look from the inside out to see for himself if there's a leak in the area where they did the colon resection. If there is, I have no idea what the fuck that will mean. If there isn't, hopefully they'll pull this godforsaken drain out once and for all. I hate this thing. It's so gross and uncomfortable and creepy. I want it gone. And I think we all know what getting a colonoscopy means--that's right: BOWEL PREP. Yee haw! Sunday night's going to be a blast.

After I got that wonderful news, and after my 3pm IV antibiotic dosing, I decided to lie down and take a nap. I was beyond tired, and I just completely crashed.

Later, Mom went to pick up The Geej from school, and thankfully, they were both in good moods when they returned.

Tonight was okay--one of the mom's at Geej's school had dropped off some dinner for us (how nice is that?!), there was a new episode of "Project Runway," I got rid of my 1 1/2" long roots by dying my hair, and right now, Earl is curled up between my calves snoring his ass off.

But yeah, most of Wednesday sucked donkey.