My mother KILLS me.

It's spring break week here in Austin. For us, that means that The Geej is getting to spend some quality one-on-one time with my mother, Dah. Today BH, The Geej and I drove out took advantage of the picture-perfect weather, and drove all the way out to Dah's to leave The Geej for her week of merriment and mischief.

Prior to going out there, I'd spoken to Dah on the phone, and she'd told me that she had gotten us "some really cool plants". Background: Yesterday Dah volunteered to work at the Marble Falls "Market Days" event. It's basically one of those things that towns do where they shut down Main Street and vendors put up booths to sell their wares. A lot of the small, local shops and restaurants have taken a very hard hit in that adorable little town over the past couple of years, so the fact that there were going to be close to 400 vendor booths and amazing weather was a really nice shot in the arm for the local economy. Well, while Dah was there, of course she did a little shopping, and two of the items she picked up, and then generously gifted us with were the following:

Cactus Cats Sculpture Thingie

Um...

I don't know what to be more afraid of: the fact that a) there's some "artisan" out there making these things, b) that my mom felt that it was worth the $40 she spent on it or c) that when she saw this thing, she immediately thought, "Oh! Karla May and BH NEED this for their front porch!"

I couldn't help but nearly wetting myself laughing at this thing when she gave it to me. I know that seems shitty and ungrateful but really? Catctus cats with googly eyes surrounded by pink silk flowers and wearing pink bandanas?! REALLY?! Holy crap, I'm just sitting here crying laughing as I type this. Damn, maybe this thing WAS worth $40 after all...

Her instructions to me were to "take out all the fake crap" and that would make it look better.

Nope. Still pretty horrible. But OMFG, I love it.

Next up, a carnivorous "pitcher" plant that "eats" bugs:

Okay. I'll give it to her on this one: it is pretty damn cool. I mean, aside from the fact that she just HAD to say that the "pitchers" look like condoms (which now? I'll NEVER be able NOT to think of), it's kind of awesome.

God, I love that woman.