Well, the job interview has been postponed. Until like August. It's a logistics thing (they're assembling a big ol' interview panel, and it's proving almost impossible to get everyone they want to be on it in the same room for a couple of hours during the month of July). So I guess I've got about another month of being in the unofficial Team Leader role. Sigh.
I've finally made the move to get that damn wiring done on my deck and to get my garage door opener fixed. It's only been broken for about 6 weeks. Damn, I'm lazy.
I've discovered that The Geej likes--no, LOVES--onions. Especially purple onions. I can use them to bribe her. "Baby, if you'll eat 2 more bites of peas, I'll give you some onion." It WORKS! She's so wonderfully odd.
Mr. Wonderful just booked a flight to come down here and visit the weekend of the 21st. Thank GOD!! I was on the beginning edge of spiraling into major withdrawal followed by a major depression. But now I have it written on my calendar IN INK that he's coming to see me. We're planning on spending most of the weekend in an amazing cabin on the river in the Hill Country. Heaven on Earth.
This weekend, I've GOT to start planning The Geej's 2-yr. old birthday party, which is going to be hard since I pretty much loathe children's birthday parties. I'm figuring: keep it small; only invite people with kids around Gracelyn's age (since I don't want to torture my friends without kids, and those of us with munchkins hardly ever get to see each other unless it's at these things); and basically turn on the sprinkler and fill up the baby pool and let the wee ones go nuts. There will be cupcakes and adult libations, of course. And I'm sure The Geej will dig it, even though she probably won't really "get it" that it's all for her.
I've got kitten fever. I know of several friends who've adopted kittens recently, and I'm just longing for the pitter patter of little paws around my house. I'm not going to do anything about this for now. But I'm not going to be able to resist the siren song of the kitten for much longer.
I'm really not watching T.V. anymore. It's weird. We watch about 15 mins. of the Teletubbies each night, and The Biscuit Brothers on the weekend, but that's kind of it. I mean, I haven't really even been watching The Daily Show lately. And yet I pay like a jillion dollars a month for digital cable, DVR, etc. I am very much looking forward to the return of Reno 911 this weekend. Praises be, I love that damn show.
The past two nights I've stayed up until past 1am talking on the phone. Night #1 was with my dear friend Lisa C. Night #2, it was with Mr. Wonderful. Both mornings after these marathon conversations, I had to get up at 5:50. You do the math. That ain't much time for shut eye. So here it is 8:35 pm, and I'm seriously wondering if I'm even going to make it to 9.
And finally, I'd like to thank Blue Bell creameries for ensuring that my ass will soon be expanding thanks to this: Chocolate Covered Strawberry ice cream. Good God. I haven't had it yet, but I will. Oh yes, I will.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Is this an okay song to sing to a toddler during bathtime?
(Sung to the tune of "Mama's Gonna Buy You a Mockingbird.")
Lift your head way up to the sky,
That way you don't get soap in your eyes.
If you choose to just look down,
chances are you're gonna drown.
Seriously baby, why you gotta fuss?
Cuz it's no fun for either of us.
Just shut your eyes, it's not hard work.
Please stop being such a jerk.
I don't know. I think it's pretty awesome. Maybe I have a humungous future in children's song writing. I'm thinking of seeing if the Biscuit Brothers or Sara Hickman are interested.
Lift your head way up to the sky,
That way you don't get soap in your eyes.
If you choose to just look down,
chances are you're gonna drown.
Seriously baby, why you gotta fuss?
Cuz it's no fun for either of us.
Just shut your eyes, it's not hard work.
Please stop being such a jerk.
I don't know. I think it's pretty awesome. Maybe I have a humungous future in children's song writing. I'm thinking of seeing if the Biscuit Brothers or Sara Hickman are interested.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
So if I don't work on the 4th, do the terrorists win?
Hi. I'm at work.
You see, at the large retail company I work for, we don't get holidays off. Ever. If we want to TAKE the day off in order to enjoy a holiday, then we're more than welcome to. However, that involves drawing on time from our "time off bucket," and the time in that bucket is also used for vacations, sick days, personal days, etc.
In theory, this is great, because it gives you the flexibility to take off (and get paid) for Arbor Day if that's what's important to you. However, in practice, it sucks. They are notoriously stingy with how much time off they put in your bucket, so you're fearful of taking off too much time in case--God forbid--you happen to get sick later or have some sort of emergency that would require you to be away from work.
Right now, I've got 69 hours in my time off bucket. That's like 8.5 days. And that's it. Period. And I've been at the company for nearly 7 years, so even if I don't get paid holidays off, it still seems like I should have at least 3 weeks of vacation built up, plus sick time, plus personal days. But no. I've got only 8.5 days. Total.
"But how do you get more hours in your bucket, Karla May?"
Well, you earn them in little, uneven increments by amassing "Service Hours" (or time with the company). For instance, when I passed my last service hour threshold (12,000 service hours), I got 69 hours dumped into my bucket (prior to that, my time off balance was zero). My next threshold is at 12,500 hours, at which time I'll get 8 hours dumped in the bucket. Yay. A whole day off. Hooray. You go through a couple of these cycles each year, ending up with a grand total of 19.25* days off in your bucket. So that's basically 2 weeks of vacation (10 days) then 9.25 other "days" that are intended to cover Christmas, New Year's, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, 4th of July, etc. and any sickness or other time away from work you may need.
Sucks, no?
Oh well. Eat a hot dog and drink a cold one for me, okay?
Happy Fucking 4th.
*Unless you've been here less than 5 years. Then you only earn a total 15.5 days off in a year.
You see, at the large retail company I work for, we don't get holidays off. Ever. If we want to TAKE the day off in order to enjoy a holiday, then we're more than welcome to. However, that involves drawing on time from our "time off bucket," and the time in that bucket is also used for vacations, sick days, personal days, etc.
In theory, this is great, because it gives you the flexibility to take off (and get paid) for Arbor Day if that's what's important to you. However, in practice, it sucks. They are notoriously stingy with how much time off they put in your bucket, so you're fearful of taking off too much time in case--God forbid--you happen to get sick later or have some sort of emergency that would require you to be away from work.
Right now, I've got 69 hours in my time off bucket. That's like 8.5 days. And that's it. Period. And I've been at the company for nearly 7 years, so even if I don't get paid holidays off, it still seems like I should have at least 3 weeks of vacation built up, plus sick time, plus personal days. But no. I've got only 8.5 days. Total.
"But how do you get more hours in your bucket, Karla May?"
Well, you earn them in little, uneven increments by amassing "Service Hours" (or time with the company). For instance, when I passed my last service hour threshold (12,000 service hours), I got 69 hours dumped into my bucket (prior to that, my time off balance was zero). My next threshold is at 12,500 hours, at which time I'll get 8 hours dumped in the bucket. Yay. A whole day off. Hooray. You go through a couple of these cycles each year, ending up with a grand total of 19.25* days off in your bucket. So that's basically 2 weeks of vacation (10 days) then 9.25 other "days" that are intended to cover Christmas, New Year's, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, 4th of July, etc. and any sickness or other time away from work you may need.
Sucks, no?
Oh well. Eat a hot dog and drink a cold one for me, okay?
Happy Fucking 4th.
*Unless you've been here less than 5 years. Then you only earn a total 15.5 days off in a year.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Overhang.
You know how when you're feeling particularly puffy or bloated or maybe like you've allowed yourself to gain that damn extra 5 pounds and you put on your favorite pair of jeans and all of the sudden, there's like "overhang"? And you look in the mirror, and you're like, "Oh shit. It's salads. All week. Every meal." And you mean it because really, overhang is not a good thing.
Well, sometimes it IS a good thing.
Take Earl, for instance.
He decided to perch his (substantial) ass up on my bathroom counter while I was getting ready the other day. He was lying there, between the sink and the edge of the counter top, purring profusely and looking generally edible. But then I noticed The Overhang:
And, because I'm a dork, I thought to myself: "What is that? Like a quarter of him? Maybe one-third?" So then I decided to look at it from a different angle.
Well, sometimes it IS a good thing.
Take Earl, for instance.
He decided to perch his (substantial) ass up on my bathroom counter while I was getting ready the other day. He was lying there, between the sink and the edge of the counter top, purring profusely and looking generally edible. But then I noticed The Overhang:
And, because I'm a dork, I thought to myself: "What is that? Like a quarter of him? Maybe one-third?" So then I decided to look at it from a different angle.
One-third. Definitely.
Welcome to your future, Bookhart.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Overheard on their first date:
Danger Boy: So...you live in south Austin? What is that like?
The Geej: Oh, it's cool. I have a tree painted on the wall in my room.
Danger Boy: That sounds nice. I've got a playscape at my house.
The Geej: Really!? Does it have a slide?
Danger Boy: Oh yeah.
The Geej: Awesome.
Awkward pause.
The Geej: So, you like juice?
Danger Boy: Oh yeah! All kinds! Apple. White Grape. I've even tried cranberry!
The Geej: Me too!
Awkward pause.
The Geej: Oh, it's cool. I have a tree painted on the wall in my room.
Danger Boy: That sounds nice. I've got a playscape at my house.
The Geej: Really!? Does it have a slide?
Danger Boy: Oh yeah.
The Geej: Awesome.
Awkward pause.
The Geej: So, you like juice?
Danger Boy: Oh yeah! All kinds! Apple. White Grape. I've even tried cranberry!
The Geej: Me too!
Awkward pause.
Hardest. Meme. Ever.
Wow, Bookhart. You really threw down the meme gauntlet. This one was TOUGH. But fun.
The Up to Three Music Meme!!
Songs that I Loathe to the Core of My Being:
We Built This City—Starship (Really. Is there a shittier song?)
Walk Like an Egyptian—The Bangles
Mony Mony—Billy Idol
Musical Artists I Loathe to the Core of My Being:
Toby Fucking Keith
Celine Fucking Dion
P. Fucking Diddy
Rolling Stones Songs I Love:
Faraway Eyes
Torn & Frayed
Prodigal Son
Beatles Songs I Love:
Because
In My Life
If I Needed Someone
Who Songs I Love:
Me no likey The Who, so I’m putting Pink Floyd songs I love:
Goodbye, Blue Sky
Wish You Were Here
Us and Them
Reggae Songs I Love:
Walking On the Moon—The Police
Could You Be Loved—Bob Marley
Red, Red Wine—UB40
Country Songs I Love:
Tattle Tale Tears—Faron Young
Long, Black Veil—Lefty Frizzell
Silver Wings—Merle Haggard
Movie Soundtracks I Love:
Cotton Club
Xanadu
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
Musical Soundtracks I Love:
I got nuthin’ except "The Wiz". So I’ll give you three more movie soundtracks I love:
Ghostworld
Stealing Beauty
Boogie Nights
Cover Songs I Love:
Across the Universe—Rufus Wainright
Alone Again Or—Calexico
Man Who Sold the World—Nirvana
Contemporary Top-40 Artists I Secretly Love:
Justin Timberlake (but it’s not really a secret, is it)
Gwen Stefani/No Doubt
Beyoncé
Songs That Bring Me To Tears:
Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain, Willie Nelson
Breathe Me, Sia
Into the Sunset, Neil Finn
Songs That Make Me Shake My Ass:
Black Sweat—Prince
Gold Digger—Kanye West
Crazy—Gnarls Barkley
Classical Composers I Love:
Vivaldi
Satie
Mozart
Rap/Hip-Hop Songs I Love:
Vivrant Thing, Q-Tip
How Do You Want It, 2Pac w/K-Ci and Jo-Jo
The Fabulous Ones, Blackalicious
70s Disco Songs I Love:
I Feel Love, Donna Summer
I Was Made for Loving You, Kiss
More Than a Woman, Bee Gees
70s Supergroup Songs I Love:
Melissa, Allman Bros.
Simple Man, Lynyrd Skynrd
Red Barchetta, Rush
Metal Songs I Love:
Too Young to Fall In Love—Motley Crue
Some Heads Are Gonna Roll—Judas Priest
Stinkfist--Tool
New Wave Songs I Love:
Love In Itself, Depeche Mode
The Killing Moon, Echo and the Bunnymen
Planet Earth, Duran Duran
Soul/R&B Songs I Love:
That’s What My Heart Needs—Otis Redding
He Loves Me—Jill Scott
Overjoyed—Stevie Wonder
Power Ballads I Love:
Lights—Journey
Waiting for a Girl Like You—Foreigner
Sister Christian—Night Ranger
Pre Rock-n-Roll Era Songs I Love:
Ill Wind—Ella Fitzgerald’s version
Be My Life’s Companion—Rosemary Clooney’s or The Mills Bros. version
Ain’t That a Kick in the Head—Dean Martin’s version
Punk Songs I Love:
Dirty Boots—Sonic Youth
I Wanna Be Your Dog—The Stooges
Lithium—Nirvana
Singer/Songwriter Songs I Love:
Waiting for my Real Life to Begin—Colin Hay
Save Me—Aimee Mann
Live Forever—Billy Joe Shaver
Music Videos I Love:
Sabotage, Beastie Boys
Big Me, Foo Fighters
Karma Police, Radiohead
None of the Above Songs I Love:
Autumn Sweater, Yo La Tengo
Nautical Disaster, The Tragically Hip
Independence Day, Elliott Smith
Guilty Pleasures:
Toxic, Britney Spears
Drive, Incubus
Yeah!, Usher
Songs to Have Sex To:
Simply Beautiful, Al Green
Cracklin’ Water, Giant Sand
Fade Into You, Mazzy Star
The Up to Three Music Meme!!
Songs that I Loathe to the Core of My Being:
We Built This City—Starship (Really. Is there a shittier song?)
Walk Like an Egyptian—The Bangles
Mony Mony—Billy Idol
Musical Artists I Loathe to the Core of My Being:
Toby Fucking Keith
Celine Fucking Dion
P. Fucking Diddy
Rolling Stones Songs I Love:
Faraway Eyes
Torn & Frayed
Prodigal Son
Beatles Songs I Love:
Because
In My Life
If I Needed Someone
Who Songs I Love:
Me no likey The Who, so I’m putting Pink Floyd songs I love:
Goodbye, Blue Sky
Wish You Were Here
Us and Them
Reggae Songs I Love:
Walking On the Moon—The Police
Could You Be Loved—Bob Marley
Red, Red Wine—UB40
Country Songs I Love:
Tattle Tale Tears—Faron Young
Long, Black Veil—Lefty Frizzell
Silver Wings—Merle Haggard
Movie Soundtracks I Love:
Cotton Club
Xanadu
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
Musical Soundtracks I Love:
I got nuthin’ except "The Wiz". So I’ll give you three more movie soundtracks I love:
Ghostworld
Stealing Beauty
Boogie Nights
Cover Songs I Love:
Across the Universe—Rufus Wainright
Alone Again Or—Calexico
Man Who Sold the World—Nirvana
Contemporary Top-40 Artists I Secretly Love:
Justin Timberlake (but it’s not really a secret, is it)
Gwen Stefani/No Doubt
Beyoncé
Songs That Bring Me To Tears:
Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain, Willie Nelson
Breathe Me, Sia
Into the Sunset, Neil Finn
Songs That Make Me Shake My Ass:
Black Sweat—Prince
Gold Digger—Kanye West
Crazy—Gnarls Barkley
Classical Composers I Love:
Vivaldi
Satie
Mozart
Rap/Hip-Hop Songs I Love:
Vivrant Thing, Q-Tip
How Do You Want It, 2Pac w/K-Ci and Jo-Jo
The Fabulous Ones, Blackalicious
70s Disco Songs I Love:
I Feel Love, Donna Summer
I Was Made for Loving You, Kiss
More Than a Woman, Bee Gees
70s Supergroup Songs I Love:
Melissa, Allman Bros.
Simple Man, Lynyrd Skynrd
Red Barchetta, Rush
Metal Songs I Love:
Too Young to Fall In Love—Motley Crue
Some Heads Are Gonna Roll—Judas Priest
Stinkfist--Tool
New Wave Songs I Love:
Love In Itself, Depeche Mode
The Killing Moon, Echo and the Bunnymen
Planet Earth, Duran Duran
Soul/R&B Songs I Love:
That’s What My Heart Needs—Otis Redding
He Loves Me—Jill Scott
Overjoyed—Stevie Wonder
Power Ballads I Love:
Lights—Journey
Waiting for a Girl Like You—Foreigner
Sister Christian—Night Ranger
Pre Rock-n-Roll Era Songs I Love:
Ill Wind—Ella Fitzgerald’s version
Be My Life’s Companion—Rosemary Clooney’s or The Mills Bros. version
Ain’t That a Kick in the Head—Dean Martin’s version
Punk Songs I Love:
Dirty Boots—Sonic Youth
I Wanna Be Your Dog—The Stooges
Lithium—Nirvana
Singer/Songwriter Songs I Love:
Waiting for my Real Life to Begin—Colin Hay
Save Me—Aimee Mann
Live Forever—Billy Joe Shaver
Music Videos I Love:
Sabotage, Beastie Boys
Big Me, Foo Fighters
Karma Police, Radiohead
None of the Above Songs I Love:
Autumn Sweater, Yo La Tengo
Nautical Disaster, The Tragically Hip
Independence Day, Elliott Smith
Guilty Pleasures:
Toxic, Britney Spears
Drive, Incubus
Yeah!, Usher
Songs to Have Sex To:
Simply Beautiful, Al Green
Cracklin’ Water, Giant Sand
Fade Into You, Mazzy Star
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