I'm sorry. I've been hiding from you. I'm not going to even try to pretend it's anything other than that. I'm feeling too boring and overwhelmed and fat to even check in with you. Why? I don't know.
It's not because I don't love you. I do. We go way back. We've got history.
And God knows I've got stuff I want to say. Is it important stuff? Interesting stuff? Most likely, no. But it's stuff that I am compelled to share for whatever reason. But lately? I don't know. I've been closed up like a fist.
I am hoping that as the days grow longer and warmer (it's actually been sort of cold here in Austin this winter, go figure), I will be able to think of you without flinching under the weight of a bizarre combination of enormous amounts of guilt and indifference. I like the voice I have with you, Blog, and I don't want to lose it. But lately, it's just harder and harder to hear it among the noise--joyful and otherwise--that fills the rest of my life.
I am coming back. I promise. But only if you promise to forgive me for my neglect.