Thursday, May 01, 2008

Will somebody PLEASE explain this to me?

Mankind has figured out how to do amazing and awesome things. Go to the moon. Perform open heart surgery and separate cojoined twins. Fly airplanes across vast distances.

But then we also insist on doing things like starting unfounded wars that may never end, deep frying Twinkies, creating baby beauty pageants and hanging faux nut sacks off of vehicles.

During my research, I have discovered there are two main culprits in the scrotal vehicle accessory market, and Clearly, they're both clever capitalist endeavors (as evidenced by the sassy use of the "z" instead of "s" in their company names/URLs). But they are, indeed, distinct entities. Trucknutz has a "Truck Nutz Girlz" section and a "Bad Assed Rides" section to their site, and they also sell "Biker Ballz." Intriguing. But Yournutz has a FAR larger selection of inventory, including this patriotic little number here--They're camo nutz with the poignant yellow ribbon that honors our brave service men and women risking their lives for American freedom...the same freedom that gives us the ability to purchase and display the very nutz that honor them.

And if nutz aren't your thing, they've also got Glad Hands (extra points for the Texas plates):

Beautifully designed light up LED pins with cheerful slogans:
And the undeniably unique "Messanutz" described on the site as "Slightly Irregular 2" plated Bronze keychain Nutz":
But don't you think it would be a far better world if trucknutz and yournutz would join testicular forces and merge into one nutz selling powerhouse?

I, for one, do.

God bless Amurikuh.


Karla said...

I think Florida is talking about banning the Trucknutz.

Who thought they were a good idea? should we, then, do Hybrid Vehicle Vaginas or something? Bicycle Breasts?

Karla May said...

Thank you, Florida...birthplace of Hooters...for trying to save us from these Nutz.

blackbird said...

I saw my very first set of trucknutz today IRL. They were even worse in person. If that's possible.