Things I've Never Done (with comments)

I refuse to call this a bucket list, despite the fact that yesterday was my 43rd (FORTYFUCKINGTHIRD!!) birthday. These are simply things that I hope to do...at some point...in no particular order...before I croak.

• Perform a stand-up comedy set--THAT KILLS--in front of a live audience.
• Snorkel in a coral reef.
• Hold a baby sloth.
• Go to a silent meditation retreat.
• See an opera.
• Attend an SNL performance.
• Spend a week volunteering at a service dog training center.
• Go sailing.
• Learn how to dance with a partner.
• Really connect with my step sons.
• Go to Estonia and Maldives.
• Join a choir.
• Finish my memoir/Become a published author.
• Wear a size 10 again.
• Attend a Texas Rangers playoff game.
• Dye my hair red. Again.
• See all those movies I should've seen but haven't (e.g. Citizen Kane, It's A Wonderful Life, Gone With the Wind, Raging Bull, etc.)
• Get a radical, professional makeover (e.g., "I'm a frumpy flabby 40-something working mom and I want to be a 50s pinup girl!").
• Re-learn to read music.
• Be able to handle stress in a healthy way.
• See PJ Harvey live.
• Become my daughter's hero.