Found while cleaning up my office at work.

Handwritten note in a small spiral notebook.

Panic attack on a plane.
9-15-04

• parched mouth & throat; dry lips
• inability to speak
• like a large hand is wrapped around my torso--armpits to pelvis--slowly tightening its grip
• sweaty palms
• stiff all over; petrified
• constant loop of panicky thoughts running in head
• hot lava feeling in torso, back of neck, ears
• gritting teeth alternating w/uncontrollable jaw shivering
• shimmy shiverying of hips/thighs
• feeling that I've forgotten to breathe & then breathing too fast; shallow
• nausea; feeling like I'm going to puke
• blurry vision; spotty vision
• hyper-awareness of pulse; pounding/racing heart; pulse in neck
• flushed feeling; hot cheeks
• snowball feeling; like once it's started, there's no way to come down
• lightheadedness
• feeling off balance; vertigo; dizziness; feeling like I'm falling forward or sideways when I'm sitting still
• sounds fade; become tinny
• waves
• out of control

When it's over, I feel utterly exhausted, drugged. Spent completely. Unable to focus or concentrate. Headachy. Very spacey.