When I grow up...

When I was little, there were several people I wanted to be when I grew up.

First up, Elizabeth Montgomery. Or, more specifically, Samantha from Bewitched. Not only was she magic, but she was beautiful. And I dug her house. Now, her dorky bumbling husbands I didn't love. But her eccentric family? ADORED them.

And speaking of her family, I was super jealous of Tabitha. Cute AND magic with Samantha as a mother? Getthefuckouttatown.

Other kids I was jealous of (but these were real kids as opposed to characters on a sitcom): Lisa Marie Presley and Chastity Bono.

Lisa Marie got to have Elvis as a dad and live in Graceland.

Chastity got to have Cher as a mom and be on TV every week at the end of the Sonny and Cher show.

As a kid living in The Clusters apartments in Longview, Texas dealing with the aftermath of my freshly-divorced parents, I would've gladly traded my life for theirs. Now? Not so much.

Next up: Olivia Newton-John. Also a lovely blonde, but one with an accent! Who could sing!! Who appeared in both "Grease" and "Xanadu"!

Love love LOVED her. Still do. (And yes, I have that album. On LP.)

I also wanted to be Vicki Lawrence.

Wait. Let me explain:
1. She got to wear those kick ass Bob Mackie dresses when she sang with Carol.
2. Wigs!! Lots and lots of wigs!!
3. She got to hang out WITH CAROL, and be like Carol's little buddy. A total dream, in my book.
4. Mama from "Mama's Family". This was one of the first female comedic characters I knew of that made men AND women laugh with equal abandon. And Vicki owned her.

Now she occasionally plays Billy Ray Cyrus's mother on "Hannah Montana". Sigh.