Good vs. Evil

I am not what you would call irresponsible with money. I sock away dollars from each and every paycheck for my 401(k), a Roth IRA, the Geej's college fund, a savings account for my goddaughter, my regular old savings account and a high-dollar life insurance policy that will take care of BH and The Geej should I ever kick the bucket. No one taught me to do this. It's just something that I've always done. I'm a "rainy day" kind of gal. But the very FEW times I've been an idiot with my money, I've had a helluva lot of fun.

Like this one time, pretty soon after I'd graduated from college, I was totally unemployed and had been for months. I was doing some lame ass temp work, but had no permanent prospects anywhere on the horizon. So what did I do? Pulled out the credit card and booked a trip to Seattle to visit my friend Julie who'd moved there a few months prior. I remember the distinct feeling of "I really shouldn't do this" followed quickly by the uncommon feeling of "You know what? FUCK it! I'm doing it!" I booked that sucker, and went and had a blast. We even took an excursion to Vancouver, B.C. (back when a driver's license could get you over the border and back in, no problemo). In fact, I was having so much fun (and had no real commitments to get home to) that I wasn't ready to leave when the time come, so I called and changed my ticket so I could stay a couple more days. And yes, I charged the change fee to my credit card. It took my unemployed ass a LONG time to pay off that trip, but I still remember it fondly.

And each and every time I've gone to Vegas and blown money gambling and on expensive dinners, it wasn't all that responsible of me, but I had a great time, so it didn't bother me too much.

I am by no means perfect, but I'm pretty damn solid when it comes to my finances, and that's something I'm proud of.

So when I start to struggle with something totally frivolous and impractical that I want--something irresponsible that will cost a pretty penny--it is torturous. It's literally like there is a cartoon devil sitting one shoulder and an angel on the other battling it out in my mind.:

"Don't do it Karla May! You'll be sorry!!"

"Dooooooo eeeeeeeeeeeet! It'll be so much fun. It's WORTH it, and you only live once."







The cause of my current struggle?

Yes friends: It's a Volvo C-70 convertible. Isn't it drool-worthy? Yes. Yes it is.

See, I've had convertible fever (CF) for some years now, but I've managed to keep it pretty much in check. I've been known to rent a convertible on occasion to get over a particularly bad spell of CF, and that usually works. For a while. But I'm worried that this current case I've got may do me in.

I'll admit I troll around on Carmax.com from time-to-time looking at what kind of convertible inventory they've got available. You know...just for fun. But this past weekend, I couldn't help myself. I went and took a test drive of a pale blue 2006 Volvo C-70 that had less than 30,000 miles on it. Now mind you, I am in NO POSITION WHATSOEVER to purchase a car. Plus, my current vehicle--which is awesome--is a 2008, so I knew going in that there was no way I was going to try to buy this particular car. But it was SO FUCKING GORGEOUS I had to go and take it for a spin. Which I did. And there are no words to describe how bad I've got the CF now. I am so in love with this make/model of car, it's borderline psychotic. I. Want. One. Like, NOW!! And the little devil just keeps whispering "Do eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet" in my ear. But the angel--practical, level-headed bitch that she is--keeps pulling me back from the brink by whispering disturbing things about "debt" and "lack of job security" and "double dip recession" and "mid-life crisis" in my ear.

I hate that damn angel. She's a real buzzkill.

So, for now at least, I'm going to keep driving and paying on my Practical Small 4-Cyl. SUV. BORING!! But someday, my friends. Someday the devil's gonna win this one.