One of the ways I amused myself during my 3 1/2 weeks in Vladivostok was by writing down all of the awful approximations of English I ran across. Usually the screwed up words were on menus (hence all of the food-related stuff), but I thought you'd enjoy.
Aggplants and Mashrooms
The filling of a "calzone" that, believe me, wasn't like any calzone you've ever had, and by that, I mean it sucked beyond comprehension.
Fresh Squid Juice
What they meant to say was "Fresh Squeezed Juice," such as orange, carrot, tomato, etc. Thank God.
Spitits
"Spirits." You know, al-kee-hawl.
Gas Drinks
Coke, Sprite, etc.
Vitamins Menu
A menu of fresh squid, I mean squeezed, juices.
"I am Ultraman. I am your best frend. i am here in your time of ned."
This phrase (spelled and punctuated just as I've written here) and a picture of a robot were on the front of a t-shirt in a children's store. I only wish I could've taken a photo of it without fear of being thrown in a Russian jail. And I would've bought it, but it was 540 rubles...roughly $25 dollars. And even though it's funny, it's not $25 worth of funny.
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