Conversations with Cheryl, #1

My mom Cheryl called me this morning on my cell phone. Here's more or less a transcript of our call.

Mom: Hey, I've got 2 things to tell you.
Me: Okay. Lay it on me.
Mom: Roy left me a note.
Me: What? [Remember, dear Readers, that Roy is my recently-deceased stepfather.]
Mom: Roy left me a note! When I woke up this morning, there was this note from Roy on my dresser. And it was NOT there last night.
Me: Whoa. What did it say?
Mom: Well, it was on this really nice stationary that I'd never seen before, and it was dated 1997, but I've never seen it before. And I swear to you, it wasn't there last night. I would've noticed it.
Me: But what did it say?
Mom: [Quoting the note] Sweetie, I found myself smiling on my way to work today. I have a simple life and am happy. You are not only my best friend, but my lover and a very good person. I am very lucky and just wanted to know that I love you very much. --Roy
Me: Oh my God.
Mom: I KNOW!
Me: And you've never seen it?
Mom: NO! Isn't that crazy?
Me: It's just so cool. Did you have a particularly hard day yesterday?
Mom: Well, we were in court to probate the will. And then I went out to the cemetary and they still hadn't put his nameplate up in the mausoleum. So yeah, it was emotional.
Me: He just wanted you to know that he was watching out for you and that he loves you.
Mom: I know. I'm just so happy that I got this note.
Me: What's the second thing?
Mom: I found a baby snake in the dining room this morning.
Me: WHAT?!
Mom: Yeah. I don't know how he got there. But now I'm worried about where his parents are!
Me: What did you do?
Mom: I got some kitchen tongs, picked him up, and sealed him in an envelope.
Me: Alive?
Mom: Yes. I mean, I think he's still alive...
Me: What are you going to DO with him?
Mom: Well, your uncle's coming over later to help me with some stuff, so I want him to look at it and tell me if it's a copperhead or not.
Me: Oh.