Wednesday, September 30, 2009

And now, for something completely different.

Several months ago, I was leaving work and waiting to turn at the busy 6th Street/Lamar intersection when I noticed a bicyclist to my left, waiting to cross the intersection. That in and of itself is not the least bit interesting. However, this particular bicycle enthusiast was 40-something white (but well-tanned), very manscaped dude who just happened to be butt ass nekkid except for a red thong. When the traffic allowed, he mounted his bike and took off, north on the Lamar sidewalk. Speechless and laughing like a total lunatic, I picked up my phone to call someone--anyone--and tell them what I'd just seen.

Fast forward a few weeks. Me, BH and his youngest son were headed downtown for some Mexican food early on a Saturday evening. As we sat at the light at 5th/Congress, guess who casually peddaled by, right in front of us with a HUGE smile on his face. You got it: Thongie McCycler. Next to our car was a big ol' pick-em-up truck with a couple of big ol' fellers in the cab. They were both pissing themselves laughing, and one had his camera out trying to hurriedly snap a photo of Billy Buttfloss. Their windows were down, so I lowered mine and inquired, "Did you get a good one?" And the guy with the camera--through HARDY laughter--said, "I'm from Minnesota and I've never been to Texas, and I did NOT expect to see anything like that." Yeah well, who DOES really?

Other friends reported sightings of the smiling self-propelled naturalist every now and again, but until this afternoon, I hadn't seen him again. But today, while sitting in HORRIBLE southbound traffic on Lamar, I saw him coming down the sidewalk and had just enough time to grab my Flipcam out of my purse and record this--4 seconds of pure gold.

Leslie? You're SO 2001. THIS guy is the new freak about town.


Karla said...

Ok, wow.

Amazing to me for a few reasons:
1) That CANNOT be comfortable on the inner thighs/crotchular region
2) But floss on a bike? Ew. I hope he cleans the seat
3) It's like 34 degrees already in Norway and thinking about riding a bike in that lack of clothes is just, well, brrrrrr.
4) What does he do when he arrives at his destination? Get dressed or stroll into wherever a la Thong Man?

I am SO glad you got some video, though. Awesome.
Leslie has some catching up to do.

Anonymous said...

You live in Austin , And you think YOU might be nuts??!! Use your brain,Karla May !! LOL LOL

Anonymous said...

I saw a cyclist crossing MLK at Guadalupe last week wearing short-shorts, and his DICK WAS HANGING OUT. Seriously.

Millardman said...

My Friend Craig just saw him last week!!