A Perfect Storm

Today I was catching up on a blog I enjoy, and the post I was reading was mostly photos of a camelia bush...a bird's nest...and some amazingly bright blue robin's eggs in the nest. So simple and perfect. So gorgeous and symbolic of spring. And suddenly, I started crying.

It was kind of like yesterday when I drove myself home early from work in a weird mental haze, feeling drugged without actually being drugged. It was all I could do to drag myself into the house and to the bed, utterly fatigued and unhinged and crying and apologizing to BH for being such a mess.

I'd figured out at some point yesterday that this horrible feeling was very familiar--it's exactly like I'd felt after I got my thyroid removed and before I'd started my synthetic hormone replacement. I called my endocrinologist and told them what was going on, and now I've got to go get blood work done to see if I need my meds adjusted. If my thyroid levels come back within normal range, I guess we'll just chalk all of this up to me being nuts, which would be a surprise to exactly no one.

So combine this weird hypothyrodism bullshit with the whole root canal drama from last week (that continues tomorrow with Part Two of my dental appointment), the fact that I busted the FUCK out of my arm by falling into my nightstand last Thursday night when I got out of bed in the middle of the night to go pee (I mean, y'all should SEE my arm...it's sick), all of the weird shit going on at home, and the fact that I have to go to fucking JURY DUTY next week when I am waaaaaaaaaay too busy to be out of the office right now, and I am one gigantic ball of stress.

Blech.

But lest you think that I am all gloom and doom these days, there are good things going on too:

Got to spend some quality time with some of my favorite people this past weekend--my friends Josh, Michelle, and their daughter Ruby who were visiting from Portland, OR. We ate vegan treats and swam in the river. The Geej and Ruby played and had a blast. It was wonderful.

Throwing rocks.

The Pedernales

I get to see my friend Stacy (from Atlanta) in San Antonio in a couple of weekends. I'll be staying in a hotel! By myself!! Whoot!

I got tickets to see Nick Offerman (a.k.a. Ron Swanson) during the Moontower Comedy Festival.

I'm also going to see Jeff Mangum, mastermind behind one of my favorite albums of all time: Neutral Milk Hotel's "In An Aeroplane Over the Sea."

Work is rocking. I'm busier and happier than I've been in a long time, and the team I'm on is amazing.

So you know, there's that stuff...

My jumbled brain.

Y'all, I cannot focus for shit. I'm sitting here at work, and I have a shit ton of stuff I need to be doing, but I simply can't get my mind to sit still long enough to accomplish anything. I'm blaming this state on several different factors:

1. I'm having holy-shit-I'm-back-from-vacation syndrome. The world didn't stop spinning while I was out of the office. Au contraire: I have a bunch more work than when I left for my long weekend away. Diving back into it head first sort of erases any post-vacation relaxation buzz I might still have, and so I resist.

2. I'm not sleeping well at all. I'm FALLING asleep just fine--it's the STAYING asleep that's the issue. For instance, last night I woke up at about 4:15am to pee, and boom, I was wide awake and never made it back to sleep. Instead, I just lay there in bed, staring into the darkness having my body heat sucked up by the two cats snuggled up next to me.

3. I've got a LOT on my mind. One thing a good bout of relaxation does is fill my head with ideas and "I should be doing X" types of schemes. I feel energized and creative and inspired, and then I come back home to the laundry and the parenting and the work and it all just becomes a big, unproductive and intimidating thoughtwad in my head. Next thing you know, I'm frustrated and stressed, and any and all benefit I got from the aforementioned relaxing and whatnot is completely erased.

My hope is that the next time I check in with you people I'll be better rested, clearer headed, and will have some of the 5 jillion things on my To Do list. But I wouldn't count on it.

In the mean time, here's a picture of some of the javelinas (collard peccary) that came and visited our little desert house.

And now for a zoomed-in shot:

Crazy little creatures, no?

The After-School Care Conundrum

Any of you readers without school-age children may want to go ahead and close your browser, because I assure you, this post will bore you to tears.

When we decided to move The Geej to public school for the first grade, the spectre of what to do with the vexing hours between roughly 2:30 and 5:30 loomed large. The school offers several after-school program options--one, on campus put on by the YMCA, and the others, off campus at other facilities. So of course, I have drug my heels in touring these facilities and making a decision until today.

Option #1
Looked good on the outside and from the website, but almost as soon as I entered the front doors, I wanted to bolt. It was unorganized, appeared to be understaffed (and the staff that were there were just sort of standing around watching the kids, not engaging at all), and OMG it was utter fucking chaos. My tour guide didn't know the answers to half of the questions I was asking, and the whole place just reminded me of "Lord of the Flies". There were about 100 kiddos just going nuts all over the place. Seriously. I kept looking for the kid holding the conch. When I finally got the helloutta there, I had a horrible sick feeling, like I'd been kicked in the gut. I was terrified that the next tour would yield the same results, and then we'd be screwed.

Option #2
Also looked good on the outside and from the website. And when I walked in, it was totally serene. Hell, they even had classical music playing. During the tour, the director answered all of my questions and even asked me some! About my child!! Their after-school program is about 1/4 the size of the program at Option #1, which was way, WAY too big, in my opinion. And they offer an orientation and tour and bus pick-up run through for the new kiddos (none of which were offered by Option #1). So yeah... I'm going to be taking The Geej by there next week to check it out and see what she thinks, but I'm feeling pretty good about Option #2. I mean, as good as you CAN feel about other people having to take care of your kids while you earn a living. Sigh.

BTW, I attended an after-school program that I dearly loved when I was The Geej's age. And then I became a latch-key kid, which is fodder for a whole 'nother post.

Exhaustion

Friends. Where do I even begin?

1. A week from tomorrow, my team and I will be giving a presentation to The Powers That Be that will try to a) justify our existence thus far and b) ensure our existence moving forward. Everytime I think about this, I want to vomit. When I think of how hard we've worked and how much we've gone through over the past few years, I am utterly offended by this task. However, I'm also insanely* hopeful about the fact that someone is (finally) asking us what we think and what we want to be doing. My team has been simply amazing in terms of their enthusiasm and creativity in the face of this latest challenge. I am very, very proud. But I'm also a total stressball. I just want to grab the leadership of my company by their non-existent lapels and shake some goddamned sense into them.
*By "insanely" I mean literally, I'm not right in the head.

2. As you know, The Geej's 6th b-day was last Friday. That night, Dah, BH and I took her out to dinner (with pumpkin pie for dessert, her choice!) and then we came home and opened presents. I gave her the Birthday Book I'd made with the "We're Going to San Diego" story in it. And although it took a while to sink in, she finally "got it" and got super excited. Now we're--literally--counting down the days to the trip on a calendar.

Yep. That's my girl. And that's the shirt Dah bought for her. Sigh.

And these are the shoes Dah bought for her. Sigh, again.

2.The big "Geej Turns Six" fiesta was also last weekend, and OMG it was fun, but it wore me out and cost way more money than it should've. It was perfect weather for a water-slide party--sunny and 100 degrees. There were a lot of munchkins who showed for the party, but not TOO many, which was good. It was also nice combo of her school friends (and their parents) mixing with her other friends (who are basically my friends' kids). The bottom line is that she had a blast.

Goody bags. Which, from this day forward, are deemed illegal and rude for hosts to provide.

So sayeth Karla May.

Waterslide Madness!!

3. Geej started her theatre camp this week, and I was nervous about it. New location. New teachers. New friends. But so far, she's really been enjoying it. This week, they've been making a movie (totally doing all of the story creation, sets, props, costumes themselves), and tomorrow is The Big Screening. Next week, the "theme" is songwriting/performance. So next Friday (right after the Big Presentation mentioned in item #1 above), I'll be attending THAT performance. Keeps life in balance, I suppose.

4. The Summer/Fall of Concert Attendance (which includes Louis C.K., Pavement, The Pixies, Levon Helm/Ray Lamontagne, Aziz Ansari, etc.) began last night with a trip to see Crowded House. I cannot tell you how much it meant for me to see them and how much I needed them last night. Neil Finn is one of my all-time favorite songwriters. His lyrics, compositions and harmonies can bring me to tears in a heartbeat. Plus, his vocals are always right in my range, so he's a blast to sing along with. Last night, they were at Stubb's and (thanks to the simultaneous Bob Dylan show going on at The  Backyard) it wasn't uncomfortably packed (which is good on a steamy, August night). Plus, with an older crowd (like Crowded House brings out) most people were there to actually LISTEN to the music. It was easy to get up front, leave to go get a beer, and get right back up front.

My boyfriend, Neil Finn.

There were more than a few magical musical moments during the show (especially when Neil's very talented son, Liam, came out and joined him on several songs).I found myself beaming throughout the night.

5. I am not a huge "Reality T.V" fan. I mean, I can watch nd laugh along with the best of them, but rarely do I get, like, emotionally invested in a t.v. show. But y'all? "So You Think You Can Dance" has totally KILLED me this season. I'm not even sure why I started watching. Maybe it was my friend Jaye assuring me that I would love it, but whoever reality t.v. crack dealer it was who gave me my first dose, I was hooked after episode one. And now we're down to the last three and I don't know if I can even handle it.

See what happened to me while watching this week's performance episode?! It's NOT pretty, people!

(BTW, BH makes ruthless fun of me--as he should--for being such a weeping freakazoid about this show. And it was HIS idea to photograph me "emoting". Bastard.)

6. Back to The Geej. Here's what a clueless dork I am: I totally forgot that you have to actually register your child for school when s/he is beginning studies at a new institution. Forgot!! Aren't I an awesome mom? Thankfully, a much smarter and "with it" friend of mine who has her child in public school reminded me of this fact in the nick of time. Registration is next Wednesday, and I just got clued in about my need to register the Geej this past Tuesday. I hope AISD will accept a Russian birth certificate. What a DUMBASS!! Plus, I've got to get her after-school care situation figured out. I've got tours with two potential after-care providers tomorrow morning. Oh, have I mentioned how busy/stressed I am at work?

7. And public first grade starts at 7:45am in the morning?! WTF?! This is going to take some major adjustments for our household. I mean, the good thing, is that I'll be getting to work way earlier and will (almost) be guaranteed a parking place. But the bad thing is that I'm going to be even more grumpy than usual. So, yay.

7. As I mentioned in my previous post, we're (accidentally) growing effing watermelons in our backyard.

It started out with a seed packet that The Geej brought home after a trip to Home Depot. Then, with all of the rain we've been blessed with this summer, it turned into The Vine That Ate Our Yard. In fact, BH had to cut it back substantially, aborting several watermelon fetuses in the process, prior to The Geej's b-day extravaganza--a fact she was pretty pissed off about. But we've got about three of these suckers left and I, for one, can not wait to chow down on them once they're ripe.

8. I am praying for a calm, uneventful, productive weekend ahead. I'm also hoping to catch up on some damn sleep. We'll see how that all goes.

My funny kid

It's been raining here. A lot. Which is a good thing because our lakes, rivers, and aquifers badly need this rain. However, when you're five, this much rain over this many days kind of sucks.

One upside? Movies at school. At least during after care. Yesterday when I picked up The Geej, they'd just finished watching "101 Dalmations". She'd never seen it and assumed I hadn't either, so on the way home, she gave me the scene-by-scene breakdown of the movie, all from The Geej perspective, naturally.

When she was finally done, I said to her, "Wow! You really paid attention to that movie." To which she responded: "I had a staring contest with it. And I won."

That kid, she keeeeeeels me!

Which brings me to the next part of my post--The Great AISD School Transfer Campout, 2010!

Remember how when you were little, you just went to either this school or that one, and either way, everything was groovy. Well, that's not the case in the good ol' Austin Independent School District. Some schools are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better off in terms of facilities, staff, programs, academics, etc. than others. And, until recently, our address tracked to an elementary school that, while not the very best one in the city, was pretty darn good. But The Powers that Be recently changed the school boundaries, and our little neighborhood got carved out and re-tracked to an elementary school that is--at least on paper--pretty crummy.

So, what's a mommy to do, right?

Well, you put in for a transfer to another school. One that has the things you want for your child. One where you'll feel comfortable with her spending the bulk of her waking time during the week. One where she'll learn and flourish and be happy. Sounds easy enough, right?

Wrong.

First you figure out what schools fit that bill that a) aren't already closed to transfers due to overcrowding, b) aren't 20 miles out of the way of either work or home. Then you schedule tours of those schools to see if you can visualize your little angel in those hallways, those classrooms. Then you agonize over which one is more likely to have a spot for her in their first grade class(es). Then you fill out a transfer form for that school (and only that school, because there isn't a way to put an alternate selection on the form; Once you fill this sucker out, you're all freakin' in).

And then the fun REALLY starts!

The AISD Admin offices begin accepting transfer forms at 7am on Saturday, February 6th. The transfer forms, and therefore your chance for consideration, are accepted in the order received. So you, and all of the other freaked out parents who have gone through all of the steps listed above start congregating on the afternoon/evening of Friday, February 5th on the sidewalk outside of the AISD offices. You bring your camp chair, a blanket, something to snack on and drink. A book. A flashlight. Your cellphone. Maybe your laptop. Your iPod. Anything you might need to help pass the hours ahead of you as you camp out on the sidewalk to assure your place in line and, therefore, hopefully end up on the top of the stack of transfers into your school of choice.

At 7am, they open the doors to the office, and you file in. You hand the AISD employee your completed form. They time stamp it, and you leave. Then, sometime in March, you'll be notified whether or not your transfer request has been granted.

In the meantime, you try and figure out your Plan B. Right now, I have no Plan B. Right now, I'm a pure ball of stress about this whole situation. Right now all I can think about is how fucked up this all is. Every kid at every school should have equal access to quality education and an enviroment conducive to learning. But that's not reality. Reality is camping out on a sidewalk in February in the hopes that your child has a shot at something they deserve and your tax dollars pay for.

Reality bites.

Kerplooey!

I don't handle stress well. It takes me down mentally at first, then physically. Since taking my little vacation last week (3 days off; quick trip to San Antonio/Sea World with Dah and The Geej), I've come back to A Situation as work that has been eating me alive. First it was just insomnia. Then I broke out--big zits on my face and back. Then hardcore headaches. And today, I actually had to leave work and come home because it was like a huge boulder of doom just rolled down on top of me--I had a piercing headache, I was dizzy, my stomach was in shreds. I managed to make it home and into the bed, and escaped into a deep, hard sleep for about 3 hours. When I awoke, I was stiff and sore and totally disoriented. BH told me that I looked red and green (feverish and nauseous) all at the same time. And he's right! I've got a 101 fever and have been sick to my stomach--BIG time--since I awoke.

What does this tell me?

I need to figure out a way to better cope with and handle normal and extreme stresses in my life, or I am going to drop dead of a stroke before I hit fifty. Yoga. Meditation. Massage. Exercise. Acupuncture. Or some combination therein. Because this? What I'm feeling right now? Not okay.

DUDES!!

I am so FUCKING ready for this weekend, I can't even begin to tell you.

In short, the past three weeks have sucked donkey. Big time. Most of the suckage has had to do with work. But the remainder of the suckage has had to do with the whole Earl dying thing. And then, if that weren't enough suckage, it has been compounded by the extreme money hemorrhaging that's been going on between wedding preparations and the whole sick/dying cat fiasco.

But, on the bright side, the weather if freakin' amazing, I'm taking tomorrow and Monday off, and I discovered this never-before-posted video of Earl on my hard drive today:


And also, I went and treated myself to a brand new 120 GB iPod classic today. Yes, I'm poor, but like any good American, I've still got credit. Whoot!!

The reason I'm taking a long weekend this weekend is because a) I TOTALLY deserve it after how hard I've been working lately and b) it's my weekend-long bachelorette shindig!! That's right--my awesome friends (most of whom are featured in the blogroll over on the right) have rented a big ass house out at the lake for the ENTIRE weekend so that we can chill, imbibe, laugh, and relax. God, I need it.

So the next time you hear from me, I'll probably be moaning about how worn out I am from the weekend. But I'm sure it will be absolutely worth it.

Ugh.

I know that technically "ugh" is probably not a word, but it's the only one I have that adequately sums up how I feel right now.

First off, I've got a HELLUVA stomach ache. And I would insist that it's stress related, except that BH has it too. Must've been something we ate, but I'm not sure what. Right now I'm enjoying some Immodium washed down with a lovely ginger ale in hopes of achieving some sort of normalcy before I try to go to sleep. And I'm lounging in my bed with my laptop, literally, on top of my lap in a valiant attempt to tend to this horribly neglected blawg.

God, it's been so long since I've written a real post that there is much to catch you fools up on. So now, in no particular order...

Yes, I have high blood pressure. But my foxy doctor put me on meds, and tomorrow I'm going for the stress-test/echocardiogram. Plus, I'll get to learn the results of my blood test where they did all the triglycerides/cholesteral stuff. Today while at the dentist, they took my blood pressure, and it was darn near normal (136/70), so yay for that. I will say that since going on the meds, I haven't felt the heart palpitations I used to feel at least a couple of times a day. Sometimes these "flutters" would lead to full on anxiety attacks because of the freaky inner dialogue that would go on when they would happen (Stuff like: "Holy shit! I'm stroking out!), so it's nice that they've gone away.

The wedding plans are progressing nicely. We bought our wedding rings. I've figured out where I'm going to get our wedding cobbler. I've ordered the flowers. We're meeting with an officiant this week. My dress came in and is at the alteration lady as of today. And, I found a PERFECT pair of shoes to go with that were on sale for $28.50 (down from $115). I also bought a cool comb-y thing for my hair do on the day of. Now I just need to figure out what jewlery I'm going to wear and figure out who the hell is actually going to DO my hair on the big day. Any suggestions? We've still got to get our marriage license, and BH still needs to find something to wear, but other than that, we're pretty much good to go.

Work is super crazy right now. I'm part of a very small planning committee for a very big company event that's being held in mid-October, and we didn't start planning it until about 2 weeks ago. So...yeah. Of course it's taking up WAY more of my time that I anticipated, and that's on top of my normal work stuff. I'm just trying to keep my head above water at this point. Let me just say that, by the time our short little honeymoon gets here, I will be more than ready for some downtime.

The Geej has started her karate class at school, and she's digging it. It's cool because most of the kiddos in the class are new to her (as opposed to her already knowing everyone in her gymnastics class). I think her favorite part of karate may be getting to wear her "karate unicorn." She's also going through a "baseball" phase where she's wanting for me to throw the wiffle ball for her to swat at with her big red bat every night. Since she's not related to me by blood, she may actually have a shot at having some athletic skills!

I managed to completely avoid the Austin City Limits music festival this weekend by staying totally south of the river. There were a lot of bands I would've loved to have seen, but I've just gotten where I can't DEAL with the hassle of big huge crowds like that anymore. I know...I'm a fucking senior citizen.

BH and I are talking about re-doing our bathroom. Nothing huge--some new mirrors, new paint, new drawers. But I'm excited!! I'm sure we won't do anything until after we get the wedding behind us, but I'll be ready to rock when we finally get going.

If I hear "Wall Street versus Main Street" one more time, I may vomit.

We've been sleeping with the windows open every night since it's cooled off here, and I'm LOVING it. The only problem: I cannot get up in the morning. It's just too comfy and cozy.

I tried to watch the new Allan Ball series on HBO, "True Blood." I gave it three episodes, and then I said, "Screw this crap." I had real hopes for it since I loved "Six Feet Under" and "American Beauty" so much. However, the best thing about "True Blood" are the opening credits. Seriously: The accents, acting, and writing are SO bad that even sexy blood suckers couldn't keep me interested.

I know I've got more to tell y'all, but I'm beat and still feeling queasy, so I'm gonna sign off and go top off my ginger ale.

More soon...

Once again...

...work has amped up to eleven. I am up to my eyeballs in multiple projects at the moment, and it's taking everything I have just to stay sort of kind of on top of things. Meanwhile, I've got a wedding to finish planning and a home life to attend to.

Oh, and a blog to update occasionally.

But right now? I'm too tired to punch one more key.

I have seen the light.

Remember a few weeks ago when I posted about how I'd met with a cleaning service and was feeling a little bit guilty for even wanting to hire someone to help clean my house.

Well, today they came to do the "initial clean," and for four hours, two very nice women worked their ASSES off cleaning from the damn baseboards to the ceiling fans. Y'all, this place hasn't been this spotless since the day before I moved in. I freakin' LOVE the smell of bleach and cleaning chemicals (I'm a huffer...not really), and when I walked in to our house this afternoon and breathed in the amazingly clean smell of everything, I nearly piddled myself with glee. GLEE, I say!!

As I've said before, BH is the bomb when it comes to carrying his weight with domestic duties. But even with his help, normally on Fridays I've got a list in my head of all the housework--and laundry--I want/need to try to accomplish before Monday in order to keep CPS at bay. And right now? For the first time since The Geej entered my life, I'm not feeling that Friday Evening Dread.

Wow.

Totally worth the dollars and the guilt.

Come on in, the water's fine!

Dive into my stream of consciousness...if you DARE:


I caught Olympic fever, albeit a bit late in the game. The thing that caught me? The women's marathon finish this past weekend. I wept when the winner made her way into the Bird's Nest. And I don't even LIKE running!! But since then, I've been glued to the t.v. each night, staying up way too late to watch sports I normally don't care about. Damn you, Olympic fever! Let me be!


I scheduled and had a termite inspection done at the house today. Why? Well, paranoia basically. I'd had one done when I bought the house (back in late 2005), but not since then. Good news: We're termite free! Yay!


However, we DID kill a "roof rat" last night. I say "we", but really it was the brave and fearless BH who handled the whole thing (thank God). Being a wildlife biologist, he'd noticed some suspicious "droppings" on the roof of the house underneath where it and the deck roof meet. So he bought this evil looking trap and set it last night (with peanut butter) and when he checked this morning, grisly victory. I didn't look at the victim, but I could make out its outlines in the plastic shopping bag that served as its coffin, and that mofo was BIG, y'all. Ewww... BH claims we caught "the dumb one", but has set the trap again hoping for another, you know, capture.


Geej survived her first ever visit to the dentist yesterday. She was kind of freaked at the concept, but thanks to the VERY friendly atmosphere and totally kid-focused office space, she chilled out and did great. And how BIG does she look?

Why did I take this photo? So I could send it to her Dah who is on an Alaskan cruise this week. I'm SO jealous because it sounds like she is seeing some amazing sights and experiencing some exceptional weather. Today she took a helicopter tour of Glacier National Park. I'm so glad she's doing this!!



Today I also met with a cleaning service to see about getting them to clean our house periodically. Let me back up: my mom had a lady who cleaned our house FOR YEARS named Rosella. Anyway, she came once every other week, and did the big stuff that my mom couldn't get to b/c she worked full time and was a mom, etc. At the time, I was sort of horrified b/c I thought it was rather bourgeoisie. But, being a lazy teenager, I was secretly grateful that my lazy ass wasn't having to do the heavy lifting. Since then, however, I've been proud of how I've managed to keep a clean house and stay on top of things no matter how crazy busy my life has been. However, even though BH does his fair share of housework, the big stuff--cleaning the bathrooms, dusting, mopping the floors, etc.--eat up my weekends, and that? Sucks. So a couple of weeks ago, I'm on my way home on a Friday afternoon after a stressful week at work, and BH's boys were coming to visit, and all I could think about was, "I've got to get home and clean up the house." Like a sign from Jah, I ended up behind a cleaning service's van with its slogan: "Don't Go Home to a Second Job, " and I was like HELL YES, I shouldn't have to go home to a second job! I'm calling these people! I met with their rep today, and she couldn't have been more pleasant and professional. And their service sounds completely awesome and totally what I'm looking for. So we're starting them out at just a once-a-month cleaning, which should be plenty for us. If not--and if I can afford it--I'll bump it up to twice a month. I'm still feeling a bit guilty about having to enlist help for this part of my life, but right now, I really need it.


Speaking of stress relief...I finally went and got some acupuncture this week. I've done this before--for endometriosis and for sciatica, both times with great success--but it's been a while. I found this great local place, and hooked up with one of their practicioners, and am very happy with all of it. I'll be going for a weekly series of treatments for about a month and then go on maintenence. This is step one in Operation: Get Healthy Before I'm Freakin' Forty. Wish me luck.


Things at work seem a bit less grim this week, but there's still layoffs going on (in the regional offices) this week, so I'm feeling a lot of compassion (and worry) for my friends and colleagues who work in those offices. Just trying to keep focused and be productive and positive is my main goal at the moment.


I cannot wait until "Burn After Reading" comes out.


I'm happy that we've gotten a bit of rain this week. In fact, we got 1/2" in ye olde rain gauge yesterday. Wish we could get some more...


I won something!! Free lunch at this place (which is damn tasty, btw)! I put my business card in the proverbial fish bowl, and boom: I got an e-mail to tell me I'd won!! Why am I so excited? Because I swear that this is the first thing I've won since I won a strawberry sheet cake in the Kilgore Jaycee's cake walk at the city's Halloween carnival when I was 9. Honestly.


Okay. The U.S. just won beach volleyball gold, so I'm safe to turn off the tube and go to bed until I feel the fever tomorrow night.

What my week looked like:

Not a fun week at work, people. This photo was taken at my desk on Thursday afternoon. I think I ingested my body weight in herbal anti-anxiety treatments, and threw in a couple of Ativans for good measure. Luckily, my team is still in tact, however, we lost some good friends and coworkers. I hope to God, we don't have to go through this again. Ever.

I am a busy, busy lady.

So here goes: a rundown of the haps in the past little bit of time.

Got my hairs did.

Y'all, I'm putting some blonde streaks into my red, and am loving it. And this assymetrical bob thing? Best cut I've had in a while.

Ordered my wedding dress.

You really have NO idea few age-appropriate, small informal ceremony-appropriate, flattering, elegant-yet-funky dresses there are out there. I'll give you a hint: not many. But I ordered mine today from an AWESOME local place, and it'll be here in 8 weeks--just enough time to have it altered before the big day.

Took Geej for her official 4-year portraits.

I can't currently afford the kick ass fancy photographer I've used for the past three years, so I opted for a photo-in-the-box type place. It wasn't a horrible experience, but my GOD they give you a lot of photos. And some of them are delightfully cheesy. Fake beach scene anyone? Why, yes!! I mean, if I endured countless Olan Mills fake country-meadow-leaning-on-a-fake-wagon-wheel photo sessions, I figure a bit of fake sea and sand can hurt her, right?

Made the Geej's first ever dentist appointment.

It's on August 19th. I'm sort of already dreading it.

Started on the thank you notes from Geej's b-day party.

I know, I know...you're supposed to get to this sooner. But I haven't had the time, and now? I've got PHOTO thank you cards thanks to the photo session mentioned above. Whoot!

Endured one HELL of a stressful week at work.

Let me just say that the mood around my company has been...um...tense and riddled with acute paranoia. But our earning's release came out yesterday (not good) and our stock tanked today (really, REALLY not good), and we all still have jobs (good). For now, at least.

Bought a "Lumbar Extender" at the Relax the Back Store so I could, you know, relax my back.

Have tried to use this Medieval torture device 3 times now:And my back is so effed up, I can only endure it for about 1 mintue. Yep, time to schedule a doctor's appointment.

Watched movies (some new, some not).

Hollywoodland. Wall-e. Bottle Rocket. Mama Mia! Super High Me. I think I may have a crush on Wall-e.

Went to see Peter Pan at the Scottish Rite Children's Theater.

Meh. Geej liked it. But it was pretty lame, even for a children's production.

Cooking/Gardening.

Made a divine Mediterranean couscous salad and--for the first time ever--fish tacos. Yum! And picked jalapenos and the smallish heirloom tomatoes off the plants in our backyard (so far our yields are as follows: Jalapenos--3, Tomatoes--5 (plus 3 that were eaten by grackles before we could get to them).

So yeah, that's what's been happening lately. And you?

Bullet Pointed Blogpost--The Nervous Breakdown Edition

Hi.

It's me.

So, yeah...

How are you? Good, good...

This weather, eh? Hot, isn't it?

Mmm hmm...

So let's get on to the bullet points, shall we?

• Friday night (Eddie Izzard) was a blast. My friend, RJ, and I got gussied up and took a cab from her house (she lives MUCH closer to downtown than I do) to The Paramount. We arrived in time to have a couple of pre-show cocktails. We entered the auditorium just in time to see Mr. Izzard come out on to the stage amid delirious applause. For me, this was the highpoint of the performance. I like Eddie a lot. In fact, I think he's delicious. However his stand up does NOT do it for me. My humor is way different from his, and although I enjoyed looking at how his jeans fit him, I gotta say, I found myself checking my watch a lot during the performance.


• After it was over, we went to Stephen F.'s for a couple of post-show cocktails and some girl talk. (Yes, Texpatriate! Those are the earrings you made for me. I LURVE them!!)I love Stephen F.'s, but on this particular evening, the service was shite. After we left there, we took a bicycle taxi to the Four Seasons lounge for a nightcap (you know, because we TOTALLY needed one). And on the way, we got cat-called by some 20-something frat boys!! Whoot!! Score one for the Cougar Den!! I freakin' lurve the Four Seasons, by the way, despite of its high priced drinks and quota of rich old white douchebags.


• After our one drink there, we (wisely) took a cab back to RJ's, and I commenced to downing water while she had a couple more nightcaps (also known as the T.U.D.: Totally Unecessary Drink). A couple of hours and a lot of conversation later, I looked down at my watch, and it was 3:00am!! Holy Mother of God! When was the last time I stayed out until 3:00am?! I can't even remember.


• So I made my way home, and then took a shower. So I actually got in bed at about 3:45am. This wouldn't have been that big of a deal except that I had to get up the next morning and be out the door by 8:45am, drive 30 miles to meet my mom at the halfway point between her house and mine, get The Geej, and then drive straight to a...wait for it...BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR A 5 Yr. OLD CLASSMATE at the GOIN' BANANAS PLAYNASIUM & KID FREAKOUT EMPORIUM!!! Why all-caps you ask? Because that's what my morning felt like. I wasn't all that hung over. I mean, not really. The gallon of water plus the two aspirin and the Pepto Bismal I took before bed helped. But damn if I wasn't tired as all hell. So after a couple of hours of jumping in every kind of germy bouncy thing you can imagine and downing her weight in pizza and b-day cake, Geej and I went home.


• Then, which would on any other Saturday be my naptime (with The Geej), I went to my long-overdue hair cut/color appointment. And due to the special stuff I asked her to do (photos to come...It's AWESOME), my appointment took 3 hours instead of the normal 2. But then I had to go to the grocery store to pick up stuff to make the salad (mentioned in the previous post) before heading home. And the when I got home, I prepared the salad, and then bathed/bedded the Geej. I was so exhausted at the end of all of this, that I was sick to my stomach and on the verge of tears.


• Sunday was a much more reasonable day: BH went down to the Canyon Lake area to meet his boys and go tubing, while GJ and I did our cat-sitting duties for a friend, went shopping, had a fancy big girl lunch, and then did some more shopping before heading home and taking a nap. See how much nicer that is?


• Last night, I had insomnia, and was awake from about 2:30 to almost 4:00am. Awesome.


• BH and I have been talking about escaping to Marfa for a long weekend in July. God, I hope this happens, or my hair may start falling out in clumps.

Stress relief.

When you have a really stressful and rather unpleasant day at work, one of the ways you can deal with that stress is to stop at Target on the way home and buy yourself some of these and then prune the HELL out of your crepe myrtle tree. I mean, really go to town. And when you're done with that? Attack the lantana.

For a moment there, in the midst of my joyful lopping, I felt a bit like Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest, but I'll be damned if I didn't feel better afterward.

On a completely different note, would you like some pecans?

My "To Do" List from HELL

I am old school. I keep a weekly/daily "To Do" list at work on a sheet of paper with little lines next to the item where I can put an "X" mark when I complete whatever it is that needs to be done. Occasionally I also use the "Tasks" function in Outlook, but mostly, it's pen and paper.

Right now, I have an entire legal sheet's worth of "To Dos" to be done, and it just keeps coming and the list just gets longer. I have NO idea what's up with the universe right now, but it's not cutting me one bit of slack at work.

I've taken to blocking out chunks of time on my damn Outlook calendar that are called "DO NOT SCHEDULE; WORK TIME" so that I don't get sucked into another relentless meeting.

Oh yeah...and I have a wedding and honeymoon to plan.

My stomach is in knots and I'm having muscle spasms in my back. Stress much?

Hi, I can't sleep. How are you?

My interview/promotions process thing happens Tuesday afternoon, and I've been prepping for it since early June. Early JUNE, people!!

It's one of those things that you just spend too much time on, and then you can't stop thinking about it. I mean, I've worked my ass off on this thing, but I just KNOW there's going to be someone (or maybe more than one) on that panel who are going to roll their eyes and think I've missed something major or that I was too long-winded or not specific enough or something else crummy. I want to go in there and hit it out of the park, but I'm nervous as hell. Not because I don't think I deserve this. I do. It's just because standing before a group of your peers and company leadership and taking command of the room in a very intimidating prospect. My head is splitting in two, and my stomach is in knots. I just want the whole thing to be behind me so I can get on with it, you know?

One of Geej's favorite teachers is going to babysit for her tomorrow night so my mother and I can go out for a celebratory dinner somewhere really nice. I'll be lucky if I don't fall face down in my plate of food from the sheer exhaustion of it all.

Speaking of The Geej, we had our pre-visit at her new school this afternoon, and it went great. She seems to be getting the concept of saying good-bye to her old school and that she's going to be going to a new school with new teachers and friends, etc. At least in theory, she's getting it. I'm sure it'll be meltdown city next week when all of this becomes a reality. Oh, and I got to write a check for $1,170 today to the new school. My God, we're poor right now.

Work. The baby. Money.

I'm really beginning to sound like a broken freakin' record.

Know what I want to do? Sit by a pool, all day, with a good book, my iPod, some hardcore sunscreen, and someone bringing me frosty beverages all day long. Then, at the end of the day, I want to have one of those hot stone massages, and be poured into a comfy hotel bed in a quiet room with light eliminating curtains. Then I want to sleep for at least 12 hours and eventually wake up to a gourmet meal from room service. And when I check out of this hotel/resort, I want the manager to say, "That's okay, Karla May. There'll be no charge for your stay. We just appreciate your business, and you looked like you could really use the rest. Please come back and see us again soon."

Let's see just how random I can be...

Since it's been a while since a "real" post--you know, one that's not a meme or photos or something like that--I'm betting this one's going to be all over the map.

So here goes:

The Geej has decided that she likes The Go-Gos. She also LOVES "Yellow Sarong" by Yo La Tengo. Every time it finishes playing in the car, she says "Again! Again!" like a damn Teletubbie.
I also discovered, quite by accident, that she likes WATCHING people sing. We turned on American Idol last week (a first, mind you), and she was mesmerized. She swayed and hummed and pointed at the t.v. saying, "Singing!" over and over. Whenever the singer was done, she'd say, "More! More singing!" And tonight, Etta James was on Austin City Limits, and she was mesmerized all over again. Very charming.

Remember when I said I was falling in love? Well, it's a done deal. I'm head over heels, folks. I feel like I'm a lovesick kid. The thought of him makes my heart flutter. The long and short of it is: He's a guy I grew up with (that's right: another Pine Curtain Refugee) and was friends with all through high school and into college. But, just friends. He was always cute, and funny, and unique, but my head was elsewhere. We lost track of each other shortly after our 10 yr. high school reunion in 1997. He was already married with a baby, and I was about to move to Chicago to be with the guy who would eventually become my ex-husband. Flash forward to this past December: I get an e-mail out of the blue via stupid Classmates.com, and it's him. I was thrilled to hear from him because I'd wondered 100 times what had become of him. (In fact, I'd been looking for him when I registered at classmates.com some 3 years ago.) Anyway, we start e-mailing, then talking on the phone. I find out he's divorced (since 2003) and has two boys--11 and 6. He lives in Colorado, and is still as quirky and interesting as always. He sends me photos, and I nearly melt at how handsome he is. Soon, I start having significant feelings for him. I start to feel like, oh shit, this may be THE guy. Finally, I confess that I'm crazy about him. And he does the same. He arranges a visit to see me Easter weekend, and BOOM it's on. He comes down, and it's amazing. I feel so at ease and at home and happy. It's amazing and scary and wonderful. When he leaves, I cry. I also cry the day after (and several times since). I swing back and forth between being so damn happy that he's in my life, and so sad that he's so far away that I feel like I'm on a trapeze. Then we say it: I love you. Holy cow. I'M IN LOVE!! Complicated logistics aside, this is it. He's the kind of man I'd always hoped I would have in my life--kind, deep, interesting, funny, smart, open, gentle, sensitive. And hot. What did I do to deserve this amazing guy? God, I feel blessed. I'm going up to visit him in Colorado in a few weeks, then we'll see each other again in June. This is how it will be for a while. But I'm telling you--I don't know how--but I think we're going to be together. Wow.

Work is KICKING my ass right now. Seriously. I've been at this company for 6 1/2 years, and gone through a lot of weirdness and tumultuous changes, and this is by far the most busy and stressed I've ever been. Work is rarely fun for me anymore. Thank God I like my coworkers, because if not, it would be almost unbearable. And what really sucks is that the light at the end of the tunnel is waaaaay off--like July or August. It's going to be a long summer, folks.

Found out this week that a dear friend of mine is having some serious health issues. I have utter faith that she's going to overcome it all with strength and grace, but it sure does suck. And talk about putting your daily annoyances in perspective...

Speaking of health, I had to have my yearly "let's make sure you don't have cancer" check up, bloodwork and CT scan yesterday. Drinking that barium stuff SUCKS. I don't like milk, and so anything with a milky consistency makes me wanna gag. Couple that with a chalky feel and nasty taste, and you're headed for vomit-town. So I choked down three big bottles of that shit before my CT and thought I was done. So they sit me on the machine and then hand me this little yogurt-sized cup of BARIUM PUDDING and tell me to eat it. I felt like one of those numbnuts on Fear Factor trying to choke down a cup full of worms. It was so fucking foul. It was a monumental feat in human willpower just to get each swallow down. I swear the only thing that made me not hurl was thinking that if I did, I'd just have to start over again, choking all that shit down. After it was all said and done, I thought I was fine until about 2pm, when the toilet and I became one. Yeah, I had to go home because I was so nauseous and sick to my stomach. And have I mentioned how busy I am at work? Blech.

My big dumb young cat, Earl, did something way stupid earlier this week: my deck is covered, and the rafters under the roof are exposed. He likes to climb his fat ass up there, and sit up there and stare down like the Cheshire Cat. Problem is, he's a total chubbo, so when it comes to getting down, he has problems. Well, Tuesday night, it was nice so I had the windows open. He was outside, and I was talking on the phone to Mr. Wonderful, and I hear this ginormous crash out on the deck. Dumbass had jumped down from the considerable height of the rafters and immediately started limping around, not wanting to put any weight on his front left paw. The following morning, it was even worse. So of course I have to take him to the vet and drop an enormous wad of cash in order for them to tell me the weight of the impact had caused him to hyper extend his paw and that he had a severe sprain. I've been giving him steroid/pain killers every night since, and he's doing much better. And guess where he is right this second: perched in the rafters. He is such a fidiot (that's short for "fucking idiot"--It's a new slang term I'm trying to popularize).

It looks like this fucking administration is going to drag us into yet another war in the Middle East. This time, Iran. What the FUCK? How is this nightmare even possible?! God, I wish George and Dick and Donald and Karl would all get on a damn "Patsy Cline" special and plow into a mountain side.

I paid nearly $50 to fill up my car with regular unleaded gas today. When I got home, there was my monthly statement from Shell in the mail: $208. I nearly had a heart attack.

I'm currently listening to Supertramp, The Mills Brothers, the new Cassandra Wilson, Cordero, Yo La Tengo and The Go-Gos. I'm currently reading, "The Best Guide to Eastern Philosophy and Religion" by Diane Morgan and "You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation" by Deborah Tannen.

Okay. That's it for now. I feel better--like I've cleared out the cobwebs from my dusty brain. I'm sure there's more I meant to tell you, but that's all I can muster for now.

Until later,
Karla May