Let's Blog It Out, Bitches

When I went to see David Cross at The Paramount...when was it...last winter? Spring? Anyway, when I went to see him, he showed the audience the first five minutes of the first episode of the creatively and totally accurately titled series he'd just completed filming, "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret." Those first five minutes nearly made me pee my pants (mostly because Will Arnett fucking CHEWS UP the dialogue and spits it out like a rancid sunflower seed), so I was SUPER excited for this thing to come out.

But then months and months and months went by, and nothing.

Until tonight on IFC when the series finally premiered. Oh. My. Sweetkittensinheaven, people. Watch this show. It is completely fucked up and clever and irreverent. It is The Ugly American hopped up on horrible Korean energy drinks compulsively lying and trying to get laid. In London. Yes, it really is that good.

Speaking of comedy, my writing workshop started last night, and I think it's going to be good. I think I'm going to write the great American memoir/novel/screenplay and earn jillions and jillions of dollars!! (Cue laughter. See? COMEDY!!) But seriously, the only reason I'm really taking this is to have an excuse (and dedicated time) to exercise my writing muscle. Who knows what (if anything) will actually come out of it. But I will say this: If you don't know Spike Gillespie, you should. She's pretty fucking cool.

Switching gears now: I guess since The Social Network  is premiering tonight, it is appropriate to state the following:

If you follow my blog (there are like 9 of you, I think) and aren't yet my friend on Facebook, please feel free to "friend" me. My name is Marla Camp. But there are two Marla Camps in Austin, so beware. (Even though the other Marla Camp is really cool.)

But please PLEASE don't friend me if you passionately agree with any of the following statements (because I am highly likely to offend you. Repeatedly.):

--Women are not funny and, in no way, know how to rock.
--People choose to be gay and should therefore be ostracized/vilified for their "decision".
--Your religion is the one "true" religion, and everyone else is fucked.
--No one should curse. Ever.
--George Bush was a phenomenal president. Maybe one of our best...and smartest.
--Hummers are awesome vehicles.
--Toby Keith and Justin Bieber represent the pinnacle of American musical talent.
--Whether or not a woman becomes pregnant and/or carries a pregnancy to term is NOT something she should be allowed to decide.
--Pot should never ever ever ever be legalized under any circumstances.
--Southerners are, for the most part, kind of retarded
--Women shouldn't be priests/cut their hair/wear pants or shorts/work outside the home/learn to drive/shave their legs/swim in public/wear makeup, or leave the house when menstruating. And they should probably just go ahead and wear a burka, just to be safe.
--Sarah Palin represents the exciting future of American politics.
--Botox is the answer.
--Evolution is bullshit.
--Texans suck.
--Kittens/Puppies and other animals are not worth getting mushy over and/or talking about.
--Fox News is fair and balanced.
--Celibacy for Catholic priests makes TOTAL sense.
--Assertive women are bitches.

Hope to see you on the interwebs!!

Oh Hai!

You don't want to hear how busy I've been and about how work has been kicking my butt. You want Karla May updates, and that's what I intend to provide, randomalia style.

So without further ado...

It's been a long time since I've been addicted to a reality show, but I am SO in to "So You Think You Can Dance". Yes, I know it's the 7th season, so I'm a wee bit late to the party, but I am completely sucked in. And what's even sicker is that The Geej is right there with me--watching "The Dancing Show", voting for our favorites, and getting sad when people get eliminated. And now that Alex is out of there, it's really anyone's game.

Another thing I got totally sucked in to? The World Cup. This is totally BH's fault. He plays soccer twice a week, and I often join in when he's watching games on the Fox Soccer channel (yes, Fox has a channel totally devoted to soccer). We've even gone to a couple of Austin Aztex games, which are a fun way to spend a family evening. Anyway, he's never "for" any of the teams in the games he watches. He just wants for there to be good play. And this is the difference between the soccer fan and those who find soccer boring andd pointless. So I've gotten into the whole "watching for the sport of it" with him over the past couple of years while he has taught me about the rules, fouls, etc. So OMG, was I ever ready for the World Cup when it began. And between fifa.com and the fact that my place of employment was showing games on the big screen TVs in a conference room during the entire tournament, I was pretty much hooked. Four years from now, I plan to be even MORE hooked.

Tomorrow I leave for The Most Funnest Weekend Ever, Round Two. This time, there's a new character in the cast (a gal I've never met named Michelle), so even more wackiness should ensue althought I cannot promise there will be aggressive flauting. But I will be praying for it. Believe me. And y'all, this break could NOT come at a better time. Yes, I'm swamped at work (which sucks b/c I know I'm going to walk right back into a veritable shit storm when I get back to work on Monday), but mentally, I needed out of there. Like now. I plan on doing nothing that requires any brainpower whatsoever this entire weekend.

I've got New House Fever. However, we are a) not ready to put our house on the market, b) it's a crappy time to put a house like ours (3/2 starter home) on the market b/c there's too much inventory and c) we need to get going in the new school year to truly understand what our budget's going to be, so, long story short--no new house for Karla May any time soon. But OMG I'm DYING to get into a new space that's more suited to what we need. This November will mark my 5 yr. anniversary of being at this address, and I am just ready for a change and for a place that BH and I decide upon TOGETHER. But I'm going to have to wait, and anyone who knows me knows that patience is not a virtue of mine.

I signed up for a writing workshop this fall with the insanely talented Ms. Spike Gillespie. I cannot wait.

Also? I really really really want to take an improv class. I recently went and watched my hyper-talented friend Irene in an improv performance and left invigorated and inspired. The questions are: When will I be able to work this into my insane schedule?; and, Am I brave enough? I really don't have the answers to either of those right now.

They're changing my thyroid hormone replacement meds prescription again. When my bloodwork came back this week, it showed that I still wasn't within what's considered "normal" ranges, although I was much closer than I'd been the last time I'd had my TSH levels checked. So, they're upping my dosage and--fingers crossed--this will be the golden ticket. I've felt about 80% normalish, but I've still been a bit hypothyroid symptomatic (dry/itchy/ashy skin; hair falling out; bouts of intense fatigue; uncontrollable moodswings; insomnia; inability to concentrate, etc.). In other words, I'm still an utter joy to be around at all times.

I know there's more,  but that's all I can do for now. It's 1:00am, and I've got to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow to pack because, as with every trip, I've waited until the last minute to even think about what I'm going to take with me. Oh, and I need to go start some laundry...so there's that.

Another post soon, I promise.

Bullet Pointed Blogpost--The Nervous Breakdown Edition

Hi.

It's me.

So, yeah...

How are you? Good, good...

This weather, eh? Hot, isn't it?

Mmm hmm...

So let's get on to the bullet points, shall we?

• Friday night (Eddie Izzard) was a blast. My friend, RJ, and I got gussied up and took a cab from her house (she lives MUCH closer to downtown than I do) to The Paramount. We arrived in time to have a couple of pre-show cocktails. We entered the auditorium just in time to see Mr. Izzard come out on to the stage amid delirious applause. For me, this was the highpoint of the performance. I like Eddie a lot. In fact, I think he's delicious. However his stand up does NOT do it for me. My humor is way different from his, and although I enjoyed looking at how his jeans fit him, I gotta say, I found myself checking my watch a lot during the performance.


• After it was over, we went to Stephen F.'s for a couple of post-show cocktails and some girl talk. (Yes, Texpatriate! Those are the earrings you made for me. I LURVE them!!)I love Stephen F.'s, but on this particular evening, the service was shite. After we left there, we took a bicycle taxi to the Four Seasons lounge for a nightcap (you know, because we TOTALLY needed one). And on the way, we got cat-called by some 20-something frat boys!! Whoot!! Score one for the Cougar Den!! I freakin' lurve the Four Seasons, by the way, despite of its high priced drinks and quota of rich old white douchebags.


• After our one drink there, we (wisely) took a cab back to RJ's, and I commenced to downing water while she had a couple more nightcaps (also known as the T.U.D.: Totally Unecessary Drink). A couple of hours and a lot of conversation later, I looked down at my watch, and it was 3:00am!! Holy Mother of God! When was the last time I stayed out until 3:00am?! I can't even remember.


• So I made my way home, and then took a shower. So I actually got in bed at about 3:45am. This wouldn't have been that big of a deal except that I had to get up the next morning and be out the door by 8:45am, drive 30 miles to meet my mom at the halfway point between her house and mine, get The Geej, and then drive straight to a...wait for it...BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR A 5 Yr. OLD CLASSMATE at the GOIN' BANANAS PLAYNASIUM & KID FREAKOUT EMPORIUM!!! Why all-caps you ask? Because that's what my morning felt like. I wasn't all that hung over. I mean, not really. The gallon of water plus the two aspirin and the Pepto Bismal I took before bed helped. But damn if I wasn't tired as all hell. So after a couple of hours of jumping in every kind of germy bouncy thing you can imagine and downing her weight in pizza and b-day cake, Geej and I went home.


• Then, which would on any other Saturday be my naptime (with The Geej), I went to my long-overdue hair cut/color appointment. And due to the special stuff I asked her to do (photos to come...It's AWESOME), my appointment took 3 hours instead of the normal 2. But then I had to go to the grocery store to pick up stuff to make the salad (mentioned in the previous post) before heading home. And the when I got home, I prepared the salad, and then bathed/bedded the Geej. I was so exhausted at the end of all of this, that I was sick to my stomach and on the verge of tears.


• Sunday was a much more reasonable day: BH went down to the Canyon Lake area to meet his boys and go tubing, while GJ and I did our cat-sitting duties for a friend, went shopping, had a fancy big girl lunch, and then did some more shopping before heading home and taking a nap. See how much nicer that is?


• Last night, I had insomnia, and was awake from about 2:30 to almost 4:00am. Awesome.


• BH and I have been talking about escaping to Marfa for a long weekend in July. God, I hope this happens, or my hair may start falling out in clumps.

Whattaweek.

It's been windy. Hot and freakishly windy most of the week. Today we finally got some rain, but not enough to do anything other than turn things into a sauna outside. Of course the rain came after we soaked our yard on our designated watering day (yesterday).


My blog sort of got "outed" on my Team Leader survey at work. Someone thought I needed to use a bit more discretion when blogging about work. (Hi there, whoever you are!!) Anyway, I've never kept my blog a secret, but I also never went around advertising the fact I had one to folks at work. That is, until this week. I decided to just give it up, and I e-mailed the URL to the entire team because, dear friends, I have nothing to hide.


Speaking of work, things are more nuts than ususal there right now. My team is super busy, and of course everyone (including me) is taking some time off here and there because it's summer vacation season. Also, our company is sort of under a microscope right now for several reasons, and the team I'm on is being asked to create some material to respond to some of what's going on. It's just a lot, and my stomach has been in knots all week about it.


The Geej's last day of school was on Wednesday. She's spent the latter half of this week at Dah's house, but will be coming back tomorrow just in time to attend a classmate's birthday party at some place that's filled with bouncy houses. After the party, I'm going to get my hair did. My roots are (once again) out of control, and I'm looking like a shaggy mess.


But tonight? I'm going to see this guy perform:
And I could REALLY use some comedy by a handsome, cross-dressing British man and a couple of cocktails right about now.