Seriously?!

My last post was on June freakin' first?! Wow. That's lame. Even for me. But the truth of the matter is I have been one BUSY lady. Between work being cranked up to eleven and having to do the childcare mambo during the week-and-a-half between school's end and the beginning of The Geej's first summer day camp, I've been running around like the proverbial recently headless chicken.

So here are a bit of the recent haps:

My baby is officially not a kindergartner any more. I haven't fully wrapped my head around this fact, due in large part to the fact that she's going to be attending a 6 wk. day camp at the school she just "graduated" from starting Monday. So yes, she's done with kindergarten, but she's not finished attending her old school yet. Which is JUST FINE, mind you. I'm not nearly as ready for her to start first grade as she is. It's going to be a big adjustment for the both of us, but I may be the one who freaks out the most. We'll see...

Speaking of The Geej, I'm trying to figure out what to do to celebrate her big SIXTH birthday that'll be coming up at the end of July. She's requested a "bouncy house waterslide" party, which is possible (I think), but now I'm wondering if a surprise trip to San Diego/Legoland might be a bigger hit. Hmmm...

If we DO do the San Diego thing, then it means I won't be able to do a girls' weekend with some old friends like I did last year, and that would sort of suck.

***
Other news--

So far this new thyroid hormone replacement prescription seems to be working MUCH better than my previous dosage. Thank GOD! I'm not at 100%, but I'm far better than I was when I wrote my last post.

If you've seen me recently, then you know how HORRIBLE my roots are. I've gone longer between a haircut/highlight this go 'round than I have in, well, forever, and the results are downright fugly. So now that my roots are (literally) at least 3 " long, I'm thinking of telling my hairdresser I want to try my natural color with just a few highlights around the face. Mind you, my natural color at this point is probably 30% gray, so when I say "natural" I'm actually talking about the color that makes up the other 70% of my root color: a gloriously boring dishwater blondish brown. Sounds sexy, no? But hey, I need to face the fact that I just don't have the time, money or physique to pull off the "No seriously, I AM this blonde" look anymore.

Next thing you know, I'm going to purchase a monagrammed, Bedazzled fanny pack and some denim capri pants with an elastic waistband.

***
I SWEAR I have more to write about, but I'm just too tired to do so this evening. So, until later...

Lunchblogging.

I COULD be eating my salad outside on this gorgeous spring day, but no dear readers. I owe you a post, and a post ye shall have!

It is St. Patrick's day, and it is Spring Break and SXSW. And what is my Scots-Irish ass doing after work to celebrate? Going to the gym to work out! Whee!! But seriously, there are going to be some insanely good acts in town for South By this year, and I'm going to pretty much miss out on all of it. I was going to try and take Friday afternoon off to hit some of the day parties, but my boss scheduled a meeting from 3 to 4pm. Nice. So, I'll have to settle for trying to hit some Saturday afternoon things that don't mind non-wristband wearing scum like myself. We'll see how that goes...

Last week I went and did phase 2 of the redhead-returning-to-blonde thing at the salon. So after another 3 hours and a couple of hundred bucks, voila!

It was weird looking at myself in the mirror as a blonde for the first time in seven (yes, seven!) years. I was looking at the "old" Karla May, but the Karla May that was looking back at me was a lot older, and "fuller-figured" than the last time she was blonde. Oh well...the old, I can't help. The figure, I'm working on.

The facelift at Mi Casa continues. Now that the bathroom is pretty much done, we've moved on to other rooms in the house. First, we replaced the HORRIBLE 1980s-era fluorescent light box in the kitchen with this swanky little number from IKEA. No really, go check it out. I'll wait.

Not bad, eh? GOD, it makes SUCH a difference. I can't even describe it. And since I failed to take before and after photos, I have no pictures to do the describing for me.

Next up, transforming the guest room into a room for the boys to enjoy when they come to visit. Right now it's, well, it's a guest room, and so they feel like guests when they're here. So we're going to re-paint, get some new furniture, and try to make it more boy-friendly. BH is in charge of this endeavor because, you know, he's a dude.

I've got more to write, but I've got to get ready for a meeting. (Such are the limitations of the lunchtime blogging session.) So, I'll leave you with some photos I took when we visited the state capital weekend-before-last:

Looking up in the dome from the rotunda. I wonder how many tourists have taken this exact same photo.

My GIRL Ann!! What a lovely portrait, no? Too bad it has to hang right next to George W.'s.

And the building itself. It really is quite lovely, isn't it?

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Before:

During:

After 5 hours and $300+:

It's subtle, but it's definitely different. I'm no longer a redhead, and after a few more appointments, I'll be a full-tilt blonde.

This is the first of what I hope are many positive changes that will take place this year.

Bring it on, forty!

Whattaweek.

It's been windy. Hot and freakishly windy most of the week. Today we finally got some rain, but not enough to do anything other than turn things into a sauna outside. Of course the rain came after we soaked our yard on our designated watering day (yesterday).


My blog sort of got "outed" on my Team Leader survey at work. Someone thought I needed to use a bit more discretion when blogging about work. (Hi there, whoever you are!!) Anyway, I've never kept my blog a secret, but I also never went around advertising the fact I had one to folks at work. That is, until this week. I decided to just give it up, and I e-mailed the URL to the entire team because, dear friends, I have nothing to hide.


Speaking of work, things are more nuts than ususal there right now. My team is super busy, and of course everyone (including me) is taking some time off here and there because it's summer vacation season. Also, our company is sort of under a microscope right now for several reasons, and the team I'm on is being asked to create some material to respond to some of what's going on. It's just a lot, and my stomach has been in knots all week about it.


The Geej's last day of school was on Wednesday. She's spent the latter half of this week at Dah's house, but will be coming back tomorrow just in time to attend a classmate's birthday party at some place that's filled with bouncy houses. After the party, I'm going to get my hair did. My roots are (once again) out of control, and I'm looking like a shaggy mess.


But tonight? I'm going to see this guy perform:
And I could REALLY use some comedy by a handsome, cross-dressing British man and a couple of cocktails right about now.

Hey! Remember me?

I've got a lot to write about, so I'm going to skip the usual mea culpas about not blogging b/c I've been so freakin' busy, and get right to it.

What's happened recently:

Work is going at Mach 5. No, really. I mean it. Cuh-rayzee-go-nuts.

Last week was the big conference in San Antonio, and it went well. The second night I was there, a big group of us gathered in one of the attendee's room to play Rock Band. Yes, he'd brought all the gear with him from home, and with the 46" flat screen high def t.v. action, it was THE BOMB. I've never gotten to play Rock Band before, and for those of you who know how much I love to "perform," it was a game custom made for me. I tore UP the vocals on "Limelight" by Rush and "Creep" by Radiohead. Can't say I did so well on "Mississippi Queen" (whoever that's by). And I only tried to play an "instrument" once. It was the drums, and it was...well...sad. I also tried my hand at Dance Dance Revolution, and then decided (wisely) that it was time for bed.

I tried to take the day off last Friday, but that didn't work out so well. After dropping Geej off at school, I went to yoga (nice), but then I made the mistake of checking my work e-mail when I got home, and 4 1/2 hours and one conference call later, I realized my "day off" was toast. Sigh.

Last weekend the weather was INSANELY beautiful, which is one of the reasons we chose to take the Geej to the Austin Nature and Science Center--our first time there. I really enjoyed it, and want to go back again and explore the trails, but for our first venture, just looking at the rescued animals and digging in the sand were okay by us.

Monday it was back to the office. Monday was not a good day. In fact, it sucked. I'm not going to go into details, but suffice it to say, I wasn't a very happy camper. Tuesday was worse, and the only thing that kept me going was the fact that I'd made arrangements with BH to pick up The Geej after school so I could go to a 6pm yoga class. Well, work dragged on, and I got out of there later than I wanted to, and then traffic sucked more than normal and--you guessed it--I missed the yoga class. So I went home and immediately made a martini. And then another. I also decided that part of what was frustrating me was that there was no end in sight from the business and suckiness at work. I had no vacation or break of any kind scheduled to look forward to. So I forced BH to humor me and we booked a long weekend trip to the beach in April. Yay!! I wrote it on my calendar, IN PEN.

Wednesday was better, even if I was a bit tired (and a tad hungover). After I picked Geej up from school, I took her for a much needed haircut (she was beginning to look like one of The Ramones), and OMFG does she ever look cute--a stacked bob, short in the back, slanting down to her chin, which is perfect for her super-straight hair. And it makes her look SO much older. Sigh... I just can't believe how big she is when I look at her sometimes. Yesterday when we walked out of Birds was one of those times.

Also on Wednesday night, I discovered this in the kitchen: He was just sitting there, letting the water drip on his big ol' head, purring his big ol'ass off. I swear the boy ain't right.

Tonight, BH discovered this at our friendly neighborhood Spec's:

Ladies and Gentlemen, would you like Sum Poosie?
This wonderful concoction--that the world was absolutely thirsting for--originates from Florida, birthplace of Hooter's and alligator jerky. PLEASE check out their website and the two Grande Douchebags that started this little endeavor. I guess my favorite part of the website is the "Client Testimonial" on the homepage from Mike in L.A.: "Aside from being a great beverage, the name just couldn't be any cooler! I love to see the look on people's faces when I ask for 'SumPoosie'. It's a great party drink and conversation maker plus the girls love it!" Here's a tip for you Mike: These girls who "love" it when you ask for Sum Poosie should TOTALLY try and become one of their "Bottle Models." Then they could appear on a can like this classy 5' 4", 125 lb. gal from Ft. Lauderdale: "Yeah Mom! My modeling career is really taking off!! I'm the latest Bottle Model for 'Sum Poosie!' Aren't you THRILLED?!"

Lee, I'm TOTALLY buying you a case of this stuff.

I probably won't be posting for another couple of days. My friend Lisa and her baby boy Henry (Geej calls him "Him-oh-wee" and is TOTALLY obsessed with him) are coming to visit, AND I'm going to see Ghostland Observatory, AND the Texas Independence Day parade is on Saturday AND the Zilker Kite Festival is on Sunday, AND I'm going to see Built to Spill. So yeah...busy times around Casa Karla May.

More soon.

Blogger's not letting me post a title. If it did, my title would be something along the lines of, "Stuff That's Pissing Me Off; Stuff That's Making Me Happy."

I guess the whole not-being-able-to-post-a-title thing is yet ANOTHER bug they can't figure out. Sort of like the whole spacing fuck up thing when you post pictures.

If I weren't so lazy and technologically ditzy I'd move this sucker over to Wordpress or something.

Damnitalltohell.

Other shit that's bugging the fucklights out of me?

The rain. Obviously. I mean, it's all anyone (including me) can talk or blog about. It really is ridiculous. Today we had lots o' sun. It was actually quite gorgeous. And then, around 7:30, lightning, thunder, and buckets upon buckets of--sigh--rain.

My dentist's office. I called to get a teeth cleaning and a) they said, "Oh, you also need an exam. Would you like to do that during the same appointment?" Um, no dumbass. I'd like to have to come there TWICE when I could do everything in one appointment. I am all about complicating my life, so yes, please, book two separate appointments for me. And b) they can't get me in until OCTOBER 15th. WTF, la gente? Really? This dentist--whose office is in the MALL mind you--is that popular? Yep, this is what I get when I go for the "low insured" dental plan.

My garage. Y'all, I know I've bitched about this before, but 1/2 of my entire garage is just filled with shit I need to either give away, throw away, or sell. I know if I would "Craig's List" half of it, it would be gone by the end of next week. There's some good shit out there. It's just shit I don't want anymore. Now it's too steamy and warm to get out there and do anything about it. Every time I go out there to get in my car, the mess at hand just makes me mad...at me.

Fucking jury duty. July 16th until ? And guess what: My "Fortune's 100 Best Places to Work" company doesn't pay you while you're out on jury duty. Nice.

My roots. I swear, it was barely a month ago that I got my hair cut/colored, and already, my roots are like 1.5" long, gray, and skanky. My hair's longer than it's been in a while (which I'm sort of liking), but I have no idea why it's growing so fast. It's certainly not because I'm having too much calcium. If anything, I'm calcium deficient. I'm going to get it touched up this week. But still, it's pissing me off.

My toenails. Wow, do I ever need a pedicure. That's all I'm gonna say.

Daya is closing. My favorite day spa EVAH is closing, and I don't know why. Not that I get to go there a lot or anything, but when I DO have the opportunity to go get a massage or a facial, this is the ONLY place in Austin I've really enjoyed going to. Damnit!!

My CD burner on my computer. It no workee. Grrrrr...

That's enough of that.

Now, for some stuff that's making me happy:

El Chile now sells its insanely good salsa at Whole Foods. Thank you, Jesus.

Karla will be here in a week.

Next weekend The Geej and I will be visiting our DEAR friend Julie (who REALLY needs to update her blog--HINT HINT) and her adorable kiddos and her two kitties and her house pony and her friends. I just want to hug them all to pieces.

KEXP's "Shake the Shack" rockabilly show. Flawless.

The taste-testing panels at work that I signed up for. Fun!

All of the Collective Wellbeing products. Especially their "Night Balm."

Hip Hop/Twirling Lesson Fridays. (We just established this at work. More on this later.)

This book that a work friend bought for me and The Geej. It is most excellent in every way.

The fact that not only did Mr. Wonderful get a phone interview for a local job this week, he's also been talking about coming down for a visit at the end of the month.

The fact that I raided my mom's pantry the last time I was out at her house and managed to release her from the ownership of these unecessary salt and pepper shakers along with the "Cinnamon" vial that is obviously from the set of Gunsmoke:

Um...WHY???!! Why did she pack and MOVE these from Longview to her current house? Do you see that there are two of these that have no mate? That's like packing ONE shoe. Or a piece of Tupperware with no lid. WHAT'S THE POINT? And then she just stuck them in the back of a shelf in the pantry behind packages of chicken bullion and ranch dip mix?

Okay. I'm signing off.

I'm equalized. At least there's more stuff making me happy than pissing me off.

Bye my little babies.

Is it really May 15th?

I ask you Internets: Where the hell is this year going? School's nearly out. It's feeling pretty summer-y outside. I've already had two sunburns. And I'd swear, just yesterday it was Christmas. Cripes.

I have nothing interestingn or substantial to tell you (as if I ever do), so you may want to do yourself a favor and just close your browser now. Go ahead. Shut 'er down. Because if you don't, you're going to have to read about boring-ass shit like this:

My hair!
Ya'll, I had literally, gone longer than I ever have before between dye jobs/haircuts since I started coloring this rat's nest of mine way back in 2002. And it was ugly. Scratch that: it was FUGLY. My roots were substantial enough that not one, but two straight, male coworkers had commented on them. And one of these fuckers actually works for me, so I could've like fired his ass for telling me ostensibly how crappy my hair looked, but I didn't because, truth is, he was right. I'd WANTED to get my hairs did for a long time, but I was so damn busy and couldn't ever make my schedule jive with my hairdresser's until today. I snuck out and took a very long lunch and, voila, I'm a new woman. I'd been wearing my hair in ponytails for about 3 weeks because it was so scraggly, but no more. My hair's now the color of a ripe plum, and I'm super relieved. And do I feel guilty about skipping out on work for nearly 3 hours to get this done? No, because I just got through doing nearly 2 hours of work at home. So there you go.

T.V.!
Did you see "The Sopranos" this week? Holy fucking shit. I did NOT see that coming. I can't believe there are only 3 episodes left. I have absolutely no idea how they're going to end it. I can't wait.


Also, I had high hopes for a new show called "Fat Man Stuck In Internet" on AdultSwim, but I DVR-ed it, and it sucked.


But the season finale of "Reno: 911"? Awesome.


Music!
I downloaded the brand spankin' new Rufus Wainwright today and have only given it a listen-through once so far, but oh my god, that man's voice. I got chills numerous times and even got misty eyed at one point. I can't wait to get to know this album well enough to croon along.

Work!
I swear, I'm about to die of meeting-itis. I'm being meetinged to death and I can't get any actual work done. I have no idea what to do about it, but I'm going nucking futs. I have grown to hate Outlook and my Outlook calendar. I mean, I fucking loathe it with a passion. The only good thing is that I schedule myself for blocks of time and put "DO NOT SCHEDULE" on my calendar so that I can have at least 2 hours a day at my desk to get some things crossed off of my ever-growing "To Do" list. If it were the Old Karla May, you know, the one without a kid, I'd be staying until 6:30 or 7:00pm each night, just to keep my head above water, but as it is, I'm beginning to drown.

Food!
Remember that awesome stir-fry I told you about the other night? Well, I'm a dork, so I took a photo of it while I was cooking. Damn it was good--asparagus, seitan, baby bok choy, zucchini, red onion, shitake, carrots, snow pea sprouts, etc. It made so much, that Geej and I ate it for dinner one night, I ate leftovers the next night, and then I still ended up trashing at least another serving of it. One thing I forgot to mention about stir-fry night: I taught the Geej to eat edamame. She LOVED it. I made a game out of it: See if you can pop the peas out of the pod. She tried doing it in her mouth (no luck), but then switched to her fingers, and had a blast. She ended up eating a shitload of the stuff, and asking if I would cook "Uhmamay" again. But of course.

Speaking of food, after my hair appt., I grabbed a VERY good (but expensive) portabella and artichoke panini from this swanky new place on South Congress (I fucking REFUSE to call that area SoCo, by the way). It was quite good, but I certainly didn't feel like I was in Austin when I was shopping there.

Assholes!
Also, I spotted this vanity plate while down in the South Congress 'hood:

In case you're wondering, "Westside Lexus" is a dealership in Houston. I was gonna guess Dallas, but same difference really.

And R.I.P., Jerry Falwell, you smug, self-righteous bastard.

Geej!
I forgot to wish all my mom buddies a happy Mother's Day on Sunday. I hope yours was nice. Mine was very uneventful, unless you count the following exchange as "an event":


[In the car.]


Geej: [From the backseat] Here, Mommy.


Me: [Looking back to see her pointing her finger at me with something nasty on the end of it] Is that a booger?!


Geej: Yes.


Me: Do you need a tissue?


Geej: Yes.


Me: [Frantically searching through my purse for a kleenex with one hand while driving with another; I finally get the tissue, and grab the booger off of her finger.] There! Gross, honey! Next time, ask for a tissue BEFORE you pick your booger out of your nose, okay?


Geej: Okay. [Pauses a moment, then proudly proclaims] But I didn't eat it!!

I guess that's a gift, now that I think about it.

Bed Head.

When I was five, I had long, blonde hair. My mom would tell me to go to the bathroom and brush it. It was always a rat's nest, and I'd go through a bottle of "No More Tangles" every month. Anyway, I'd go to the bathroom and brush the front and sides, but never the back. My mom would get so frustruated with me.

Her: Why didn't you brush your hair like I asked you?

Me: I did!

Her: No, the back of it is a mess.

Me: I know! I couldn't get the brush to go through it.

Her solution? She cut all my hair off. Well, actually, she took me to the BARBER shop up the street where my dad went, and had them cut it off. I think I was the first little girl who'd ever walked through the door of this place. Naturally, they gave me a chili bowl haircut. It was devastating. I made sure to wear a dress to school every day during the first week of first grade so that people would know I was a girl.

And now, this is what awaits me most every morning:

And another view:

Hey, at least she comes by it honestly...

Fierce.

Tyra Banks makes me wanna punch a bitch. In the throat. But I will hand it to her in 2 respects:
Girlfriend is curvy, which makes the rest of us with T and A feel okay about life.

and

She popularized the term "fierce' when describing a certain type of beautiful. A beautiful that is totally your own. Commanded by you.

Yesterday I went and spent $100+ that I do NOT have on my hair. I know it's superficial as hell, but fuck it: I was in the godforsaken hostpital for nearly a month, and my hair hasn't been tended to since mid-August. So I deserve it.

And I did something radical.

I cut it all off. And dyed it dark cranberry.

Witness: Fierce, Karla May style (i.e., I have on no make-up and I'm wearing my pajamas).

I know I will never EVER be able to replicate this look (Hell, I haven't put a blow dryer to my own hair in about 4 years), but still...

This was TOTALLY worth $100+ bucks.

Hair Crisis Narrowly Averted.

I've been going to the same hairstylist for about 5 years now. He's one of the only straight male hairstylists on the planet and he does a pretty good job for reasonable prices. He's located conveniently near my workplace, and has always been easy to schedule with because he has an online scheduling system where you go in, pick your service, choose your date/time, and voila--it's done. You even get an e-mail reminder about your appointment the day prior. Sounds good, right? Well, not so much. In the 5 years I've been going to him, he's called me last minute to cancel/reschedule at least 8 times. Every other time, I've been flexible and rescheduled. He usually would knock $10 to $15 off the service to make up for the inconvenience. But today was the last fucking straw.

I had an appointment for 3:30 for a cut and color. It was important that I get this taken care of today because my hair was looking SUPER ratty, and I have company coming in tomorrow and a big ass party I'm throwing on Saturday. Asshole calls me at 1:30 to say he needs to cancel because his attorney had just called him and he needed to appear in court this afternoon--a command performance to deal with his (2nd!) DUI. Asks me if I can reschedule for tomorrow afternoon, same time. Um NO fuckface, I can't. That's why I scheduled for toDAY. GRRRRRR. He's all apologetic and shit, says he'll do the color for free blah blah blah. Hey, dickweed, guess what. You're not getting to do my color for free or ever again for that matter. You suck, and I'm done.

I immediately started scrambling, asking every chick I know at my office for names/salons I should call. On my third try, I got lucky. They worked me in at Anne Kelso, and I am now the proud owner of a bitchin' assymetrical, garnet-colored bob. It's ruling.

So, screw you Elliott Franklin. We're officially broken up.