Oddities

Last night, at the Radiohead show at the Frank Erwin Center, there was a guy in the "floor" section of the arena who decided that the best idea for experiencing they show was to, you know, lie on the nasty horrible uncomfortable ground while gently playing the "drums" on his substantial belly. He did this for about four of five songs and only changed his position (and eventually got up) after people started staring at him as they walked by and one guy checked on him to make sure he wasn't dead.

***

We have instituted "no TV" nights at our house on Mondays and Tuesdays in an effort to get The Geej to focus more on her homework. It's been working really well. Today, on the way to school, this was our conversation:
Geej--Since I haven't watched TV this week and I've done all my homework, can I watch TV tonight when we get home?
Me: Sure.
Geej--Yay! I'm gonna have a TV fuhganza!
Me: What's a "fuhganza"?
Geej--It's where I go CRAZY with the TV!

***

Austin's favorite cross-dressing, thong-and-heel sporting, bearded, crazy homeless man, Leslie passed away today. I remember going to see a show at Stubb's one night (inside), and Leslie showed up wearing a half t-shirt and a tiny red, shiny thong with high heels and painted fingernails. He got one of the band's promotional bumper stickers and plastered it across his naked butt cheeks. Then he proceeded to get up on stage and shake everything God gave him as the band played. The audience was pretty much unfazed. I've got photos somewhere...

***

Today, on the way home from work, I was traveling down S. Lamar (like I always do). It was drizzling and the traffic was creeping along. I reached the strech just north of Oltorf--where there are literally three Mexican food restaurants in a 1/2 mile stretch--there was a half-trailer parked in the lot of the middle restaurant, La Feria. In this trailer, was a HUGE camel. He seemed oblivious to the rain and was steadily munching on the palm fronds of the tree his trailer was parked underneath.

***

Last weekend I was lucky enough to travel to Florida to visit a couple of girl friends. I was on a mission to see some manatees, but that was not to be. However, we did see some freaky wildlife.

We drove to Marco Island (near Naples) for the day on Sunday. And somehow, we happened upon this place called Stan's, which is apparently legendary. There were cars EVERYWHERE, and when we asked a kindly old British man what was up, he said, "Well, on Sundays, Stan likes to sell beer, and a lot of people like it apparently."

Understatement.

It was a white person palooza! Lots of trashy, drunk people inexplicably crowded into this indoor/outdoor waterside bar, drinking specialty drinks called "Buzzards" and listening to a southern rock cover band. (Yes, they played "Sweet Home Alabama." Twice.)

That's Stan. He's apparently 180 years old, and his wife, The Buzzard Queen, works the joint with him. She was there decked out in her black, sequined and feathered regalia, dirty dancing with strangers, taking dollar bills out of mens' waistbands with her teeth and posing for pictures. Classy couple, those two.

At Stan's they welcome dogs. Even if they're on the table while you're eating.

We were classy too, having brought our own snacks to a restaurant. But everyone was too drunk to notice or care.

I think the coolest thing was the fact that I found a license plate featuring my pseudonym parked right next to my buddy's La Turista's daughter's pet name.

Kind of cool, right?

Do you HEAR me, Don?!

Yes, it has been hot here in Austin. Horribly horribly hot, reltentlessly sweltering, and so so SO dry. But right now, out in the Gulf of Mexico, there is a storm named Don a-brewin'. And as of earlier today, this was Don's projected path:

If there is a God, and if that God doesn't hate Texas, we will be getting some rain from this storm and maybe, just maybe, a day or two where it DOESN'T get to 100 degrees or higher. If we DON'T get any rain and relief from this godawful summer, I cannot be held responsible for my actions which may or may not include, yelling, screaming, crying, ripping out hair at the roots, punching kittens in the face, spitting at preachers, littering, and farting on the elderly. Seriously. This rain NEEDS to happen, or your poor Pine Curtain Refugee may have to go to the loony bin and/or county jail.

As seen during my afternoon commute.

Yesterday, while stopped in traffic, the gentleman in the green Excursion (pictured above) caught my eye. The picture does not do him justice, as I assure you, he was straight-up CRAZY looking.

• Dressed in black and white camo outfit appropriate for freezing weather. It was in the upper 60s.
• Black gloves.
• HUGE Harry Carey glasses.
• Hair parted from the middle of the back of his head and combed forward toward his forehead
• Mouth-breather with pursed lips

 And the best thing about all of it? He was rocking out to mariachi music.

Inspiration.

Today I am attending a workshop sponsored by a women's writing foundation called "A Room Of Her Own." I went to the keynote this morning and got to hear Meredith Hall speak. She wrote the book Without A Map after receiving the "Gift of Freedom" award from ARHO, and she talked about her journey from a pregnant 16 year old in 1965 who was forced to give up her baby for adoption then shunned by her family and friends to now, a writing professor at the University of New Hampshire and respected published author. To say she is an inspiration is an understatement. And this afternoon, I have a session with poet Liz Belile followed by one led by Meredith. The workshop is small (yay!), and I cannot wait to listen and learn from these kick ass ladies.

Why am I telling you this? Well because I am feeling very grateful to live in a city that affords opportunities like this and that I have a family who fully supports my taking a day to retreat from my familial duties and spend simply being inspired and learning. I am a lucky, lucky lady.

Love Your Mother.

From time to time at work, they organize events where we can volunteer to work to benefit organizations in the Austin community. It's been a whle since I've signed up for one of these events, but today, I went full-tilt, volunteering for a wetlands preserve clean up and beautification project for the afternoon in honor of Earth Day.

A group of like-minded helpsters descended upon the work site at about 1pm.

We had an orientation about the site, what we were trying to achieve, and how to spot the (unfortunately very common area nuisance) poison ivy.

And then we chose which group we wanted to work with: trash pick up, invasive tree removal, wildflower seed dispersal, trail maintenance (a.k.a., mulch spreading), and bamboo removal. I chose my group based on the tools you'd get to use--a big-ass cut lopper--and therefore ended up with the bamboo removal crew.

We wandered down a trail until we came to an area that really needed our help--a curve in the main trail that was being all but suffocated my bamboo and "wild cane" (whatever the hell that is). So we were told to clear it and pile up what we cut out on along the side of the trail.

We went NUTS. At first I was working closely with the others (and, as a result, received an accidental "caning" on my arm that is still very swollen and bruising up nicely). But eventually, I found a spot I claimed as my own, deciding that its clearing of bamboo, wild cane and random deadfall branches and crap would be my personal Earth Day mission. I started working at around 1:30. I didn't take a break until close to 3:00pm.

It was cloudy (HUMID!) and totally gloomy the entire time we were working. But it was an amazing feeling to see the areas we were working in become so much brighter as we removed the tall, leafy bamboo and let the sunlight come in and hit the trail floor.

At about 3:45, TOTALLY sweat-soaked and worn out, I looked around at my little self-proclaimed Earth Day mission area and declared it cleared. I stumbled back to the car, drove my stinky butt home in the rain (yep, it finally started raining), took a long, hot shower, and grabbed a quick cat nap before it was Geedles time.

I know I am going to be SO sore tomorrow. My upper body, especially. But I will do something like this again next Earth Day, and hopefully, between now and then as well. I want to involve The Geedles in helping out with something like this so that she gets how important volunteerism is along with how important it is to take care of the beautiful world around us.

Happy Earth Day, everyone. This is, indeed, my favorite planet in our solar system--by far!

Let's DO this!

Today when my doctor's nurse called to discuss scheduling my surgery, I almost felt like I was asking for a table at a busy restaurant: "I'll take first available." So, the surgery will be happening on 3/5. My pre-op consult will be happening this Friday. Good. I want to get this shit done and done, you know?

In other news, if you know anyone else besides me who lives in Austin, then surely you've heard that IT SNOWED today! Really! But it was a perfect snow--lovely to watch fall from the sky, but not enough to mess with travel and traffic. The Geej got to enjoy it at school when her entire class went out in it and had a snowflake-catching-on-your-tongue-a-thon.

Speaking of The Geej, this morning she woke up with a rash over most of her body, but little itching and no fever. I looked up what was going on (thank you, interwebs) and according to the University of Michigan Children's Hospital website, it is "antibiotic rash", which sounded pretty innocuous. (She's been on Amoxicillin since last Tuesday.) But after dosing her with Benydryl and calling her doctor's office (which was closed due to "inclement weather"), it was only getting worse. Tonight I also added some cortizone cream to the mix. At bed time, she was still COVERED in red, raised bump, from her face to her ankles, and beginning to run a low-grade fever. I'll be calling her doctor again first thing in the morning. Have any of y'all ever dealt with this? I'm starting to freak out a bit...

My funny kid

It's been raining here. A lot. Which is a good thing because our lakes, rivers, and aquifers badly need this rain. However, when you're five, this much rain over this many days kind of sucks.

One upside? Movies at school. At least during after care. Yesterday when I picked up The Geej, they'd just finished watching "101 Dalmations". She'd never seen it and assumed I hadn't either, so on the way home, she gave me the scene-by-scene breakdown of the movie, all from The Geej perspective, naturally.

When she was finally done, I said to her, "Wow! You really paid attention to that movie." To which she responded: "I had a staring contest with it. And I won."

That kid, she keeeeeeels me!

Which brings me to the next part of my post--The Great AISD School Transfer Campout, 2010!

Remember how when you were little, you just went to either this school or that one, and either way, everything was groovy. Well, that's not the case in the good ol' Austin Independent School District. Some schools are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better off in terms of facilities, staff, programs, academics, etc. than others. And, until recently, our address tracked to an elementary school that, while not the very best one in the city, was pretty darn good. But The Powers that Be recently changed the school boundaries, and our little neighborhood got carved out and re-tracked to an elementary school that is--at least on paper--pretty crummy.

So, what's a mommy to do, right?

Well, you put in for a transfer to another school. One that has the things you want for your child. One where you'll feel comfortable with her spending the bulk of her waking time during the week. One where she'll learn and flourish and be happy. Sounds easy enough, right?

Wrong.

First you figure out what schools fit that bill that a) aren't already closed to transfers due to overcrowding, b) aren't 20 miles out of the way of either work or home. Then you schedule tours of those schools to see if you can visualize your little angel in those hallways, those classrooms. Then you agonize over which one is more likely to have a spot for her in their first grade class(es). Then you fill out a transfer form for that school (and only that school, because there isn't a way to put an alternate selection on the form; Once you fill this sucker out, you're all freakin' in).

And then the fun REALLY starts!

The AISD Admin offices begin accepting transfer forms at 7am on Saturday, February 6th. The transfer forms, and therefore your chance for consideration, are accepted in the order received. So you, and all of the other freaked out parents who have gone through all of the steps listed above start congregating on the afternoon/evening of Friday, February 5th on the sidewalk outside of the AISD offices. You bring your camp chair, a blanket, something to snack on and drink. A book. A flashlight. Your cellphone. Maybe your laptop. Your iPod. Anything you might need to help pass the hours ahead of you as you camp out on the sidewalk to assure your place in line and, therefore, hopefully end up on the top of the stack of transfers into your school of choice.

At 7am, they open the doors to the office, and you file in. You hand the AISD employee your completed form. They time stamp it, and you leave. Then, sometime in March, you'll be notified whether or not your transfer request has been granted.

In the meantime, you try and figure out your Plan B. Right now, I have no Plan B. Right now, I'm a pure ball of stress about this whole situation. Right now all I can think about is how fucked up this all is. Every kid at every school should have equal access to quality education and an enviroment conducive to learning. But that's not reality. Reality is camping out on a sidewalk in February in the hopes that your child has a shot at something they deserve and your tax dollars pay for.

Reality bites.

And now, for something completely different.

Several months ago, I was leaving work and waiting to turn at the busy 6th Street/Lamar intersection when I noticed a bicyclist to my left, waiting to cross the intersection. That in and of itself is not the least bit interesting. However, this particular bicycle enthusiast was 40-something white (but well-tanned), very manscaped dude who just happened to be butt ass nekkid except for a red thong. When the traffic allowed, he mounted his bike and took off, north on the Lamar sidewalk. Speechless and laughing like a total lunatic, I picked up my phone to call someone--anyone--and tell them what I'd just seen.

Fast forward a few weeks. Me, BH and his youngest son were headed downtown for some Mexican food early on a Saturday evening. As we sat at the light at 5th/Congress, guess who casually peddaled by, right in front of us with a HUGE smile on his face. You got it: Thongie McCycler. Next to our car was a big ol' pick-em-up truck with a couple of big ol' fellers in the cab. They were both pissing themselves laughing, and one had his camera out trying to hurriedly snap a photo of Billy Buttfloss. Their windows were down, so I lowered mine and inquired, "Did you get a good one?" And the guy with the camera--through HARDY laughter--said, "I'm from Minnesota and I've never been to Texas, and I did NOT expect to see anything like that." Yeah well, who DOES really?

Other friends reported sightings of the smiling self-propelled naturalist every now and again, but until this afternoon, I hadn't seen him again. But today, while sitting in HORRIBLE southbound traffic on Lamar, I saw him coming down the sidewalk and had just enough time to grab my Flipcam out of my purse and record this--4 seconds of pure gold.



Leslie? You're SO 2001. THIS guy is the new freak about town.

I'm only doing this because I'm sick.

I don't know if it's the cedar in the air or what, but for the past 36 hours, I've been feeling progressively like a prominent member of the Undead Society. Coughing. Headache. Sneezing. Runny nose. Etc. Normally, "seasonal" and "environmental" allergies don't faze me. And this is saying something seeing as how I live in the Allergy Capital of the Freakin' World. (Does your local weather forecast include and "allergy forecast"? Because it does in Austin!) But maybe they ARE really getting to me for some reason. Or maybe I'm finally catching the bug that has been going around for about 6 weeks and has kicked the collective ASSES of friends, coworkers, and family around me. Who knows. Who cares. I just feel like hammered dogshit and want to feel better so BH and I can go out and have some fun tomorrow night. I mean, we have a babysitter, reservations, and everything!!

So in lieu of having the mental energy to create a REAL post, please entertain yourself with this video of one of my kittehs--Doug--playing fetch.


Enjoy!

Random, only because I have no brain power to be cohesive.

Geej and (my god daughter) Annie O, kicking back at the Dog and Duck at SXSW, just like their mommies used to do.

See right there, just beyond the railing. That guy? Sort of looking down as he walks? He's dressed head-to-toe in black, including a black "leather" duster coat-ish thingie. Um...why? At the time this picture was taken, it was at LEAST 86 degrees. And he was like the 5th douchebag I'd seen that day dressed in the allblackincludingleather ensemble. Please give me a FOOKIN' break. SXSW Hipster-wannabes SUCK. And stink! Because they're SWEATY!! From all the unnecessary LEATHER and/or black they wear. Pfffft.

This picture kills me. It's Daddy-O and Annie-O wearing their matching "Lone Star" gimme caps and listening to our friends play really good music at a family-friendly SXSW show on Saturday.

You see that teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeny pinkish speck in the upper left center of this photo? That's the Geej, running her peaches off at Commons Ford Ranch Park. I can't WAIT to see this place when the trees are fully covered in leaves and there's lots of spotty shade.

Aahhhhh...

This is what the weather is like in Austin today:

Light breeze.

No humidity. 75 degrees.

The perfect kind of weather to do this, apparently:

Today was a good day.

Got up, and it was cloudy and mid-50s-ish outside. The online weather report said that it was supposed to be sunny and in the upper 70s.

We took our time getting ready, and then left for the Sunset Valley Farmer's Market around 10:30 in the morning. It's super close to where we live, which makes it sort of sad that we hadn't gone there since BH appeared on the scene, but we made up for it today. It's early February, so the scene at the farmers' market was about 1/4 of what it will be in a couple of months. But it was still great.

There were jugglers demonstrating scandalous positions. (Or do I just have a dirty mind? Wait. Don't answer that.)

There were many "booths" with the obligatory (?) Texas flag tent shout outs. [Do other states do this? Or is our state flag just THAT much more kick ass? I'm just curious...]

There was the general awesomeness of a group of like-minded people gathered together to celebrate the scant remainders of the "community" aspect of their ever-increasing city.

Oh yeah...and at the farmers' market, every fourth person was sporting one of these--a "Better Bag" from Whole Foods. Death to the plastic shopping bag, people! Viva la bag! After that one, we decided to go to another one--the Austin Farmers' Market, which is a more recent addition to the whole local/farmers' market scene. Look at that photo. Doesn't it look all "big city-esque"? So weird to me that THAT'S Austin... But I digress.

Nothing much going on at the downtown farmers' market. However we did buy a one-container herb garden thing for $11 AND a couple of KICK ASS t-shirts from Jaye's friend Will (whose website escapes me now...damnit. Jaye?).

After that? We were still rockin'. It was fookin' GORGEOUS outside, so we decided to go eat lunch at a "wess-tuh-wahnt".

The Geej approved (which, as you know, makes life about 99% easier).


Now I invite you to gaze upon the sundried tomato Bloody Mary I had at lunch. Quit drooling. Yes, you should be jealous because this thing is freakin' amazing.

But wait! The best part of the day was yet to come: An EIGHT YEAR OLD'S birthday party. Wooh hoo! And Geej was the only kiddo under 7 even invited. How COOL is she?! But this party was even cooler: It was a "science" themed party hosted by a group super cool freaks who I am going to intentionally NOT tell you about b/c I intend to use them for the Geej's next 17 birthday parties...so back the EFF off. Now!

But, because I love you, I'll give you a hint about the coolest part of the party (besides the cake, natch):

And this...

And this...(slime making)

The Geej makes SLIME! All scientific like and stuff!!

Yeah. It was a good day.

Fancy Feasts.

Anyone who knows me well willl tell you how much I lurves myself a good meal. I mean, it's no secret. Just look at the lateral spread of my ass and you can tell that. But what I'm talking about here right now is a meal that's prepared by other humans in an intriguing and comfortable setting that has something interesting and/or artisitic about it that makes it truly special.

In short: I likes me a nice meal at a swanky restaurant every now and again, price be damned. You know: just the chance to go out and indulge in this particular type of art form/theater.

So a couple of weekends ago when a bunch of mommy friends and I were at Mz. Ruby Jane's 4th Birthday/Pinata Bashing Fiesta, I let it be known that for my 39th birthday (which is looming EVER larger), all I really wanted to do was to get all the girls dressed up (like we used to do) and go out to eat at a nice/swanky scene-worthy restaurant (also, like we used to do) and go enjoy each others' buzzed company (yes, like we used to).

But last weekend, I got to spend several blissful hours out at just such a place having a WONDERFUL dinner shored up by flutes of Prosecco. Ant then tonight, I took my mom out for her birthday (62, Jan. 27) and then next weekend, BH and I are going out with his mother and her husband for her birthday (65...her b-day is the same date as mine, btw). So when should I do this "Fancy Girls' Dinner"? Any time after the 2nd seems, you know, meh. So fuck it. Who the hell cares about the fact that I'm entering into the swan song of my thirties anyway.

Not me. I mean, not really.

But next year, this time? You can fully expect that I'm going to be planning one of those "HOLYSHITI'MTURNING40" trips/events that I am going to NEED my girls for.

But enough about me and birthdays. Overrated all around. What I REALLY wanted to tell you about is that-gasp-the last TWO WEEKENDS I've gone out to dinner at the types of swanky places I described in paragraph #1. Last Saturday, it was Starlite with Jaye (for the helluvit). And then tonight it was Imperia with Dah (for her birthday).

Me and Dah, all gussied up for her birthday dinner.

So, Starlite. What a happy accident this was. I say "accident" because Jaye and I had actually planned on going to Uchi. That's what we'd been craving, and so we decided to early like old people to avoid too brutal of a wait. Hah! We got there at 6:30pm, and there was ALREADY an hour-and-a-half wait. We said screw it and headed downtown without a plan, and that's how we ended up at Starlite--someplace we'd both been wanting to try. We'd both eaten there when it was at its funky original location in a little house on 34th street, but neither of us had tried it since it had moved into its large, elegant downtown digs. The place itself is GORGEOUS, and it has an upscale-but-not-snooty feel. Jaye and I both started out with a couple of their signature cocktails--HIGHLY recommended, and then she had a salad, and I had a velvety soup of perfectly-seasoned white bean puree. We split an oyster appetizer that was to die for, and then we both had seafood entrees--she, sea bass; me, tuna. Day-um, y'all. Both entrees were exquisite, and the service was attentive, but not pushy. I want to go back. Soon. They've apparently got a dynamite brunch on the weekends that I'm dying to try. And trust me dudes--if you want to take your lady out for a romantical evening, this is the place to go.

Now for Imperia. I'd been curious ever since Capitol Brasserie had closed. I'd enjoyed that restaurant with its clean, crisp French feel, and it's most excellent frites. Holy GOD, the frites. And I'd also been a fan way back when of Mezzaluna when it occupied the space where Imperia now resides. I was wondering what kind of transformation had taken place to change the French brasserie to a hip Asian place-to-be-seen restaurant. Wow, y'all. The interior place was utterly unrecognizable from its previous incarnation. The bar, front door, kitchen and restrooms were still in the same place, but that's where the similarities ended. The interior now is sleek, dark, and sexy, with lots of dark wood and golden accents, including an enormous golden Buddah statue lording over the lounge area. The main thing I kept thinking when I walked into this place was, "This does NOT feel like Austin. At all." Whereas Starlite is fancy in its own way, it still feels warm and Austin-y. Imperia, however, did not. It was very L.A./Dallas/Chicago-ish. In other words, I felt too old and woefully unhip to even be allowed in the front door. But the service was good and the food was very tasty--especially the deserts we ordered. But it was SUPER loud and a wee bit over priced (for what you got), so unlike Starlite, I don't know if I'll be wanting to rush back any time soon.

More soon, my loves.

But I'm signing off for now.

Other goings on...

Yeah, I know that Texas got beat today by stupid ol' O.U. But you know what? U.T. is still way cooler than O.U. simply based on these two facts: It's not in Oklahoma AND it's actually in Austin, which--as many of us know--flippin' rules.

Okay, now down to haps.

This week was crazybusy at work. First off, it was a short week for me since I took Monday off. Then it was like--Bam!--meetings, meetings, meetings, lunch with new team, appointment, meetings, parent/teacher conference, meeting, team appreciation lunch, offsite meeting, 5:00pm Friday. I mean, seriously. Whoooooosh.

Monday my small team officially joined a new larger team at work. There are good things about this "merger", and things about it that still remain to be seen. I'm in protective "mother hen" mode at the moment with the whole situation. At any rate, it's new, and if there's one thing that is constant about where I work, there's always something "NEW" going on.

I went to a work-related reception thingie on Wednesday evening. It was nice, but gosh that shit's just awkward. I'm chatty as hell, but I'm not one of those folks who likes to go up and just initiate random, work-related conversation with someone I don't know. But I did, and it was fine. As long as this type of schmooze-fest isn't a regular part of what I do at work, I'm golden.

I had Geej's parent/teacher conference on Thursday afternoon. Let me set the scene for you:

Her teachers--Mr. Gabe and Miss Kim--and I are seated on the "circle time" circle in the middle of their feng shui-ed/bamboo-floored classroom, while the class rat Hunka Munka runs around between us, crawling all over us at various points. It was freakin' awesome. The basic report is this: She's doing incredibly well, especially considering how different the "Primary" class (with all 4 and 5 yr. olds except for her and her friend Kennedy) is from the "Pre-primary" class she came from. The only issue? Her tendency to be a bit...um...bossy. Seriously, I have no idea where she gets this from. (Nod, nod, wink wink.) We'll be working on this as hard as we can, but honestly? She's my kid: she's gonna be a Bossy McBossersons. There's not a whole lot I can do about it.

This week was going really well, actually, until yesterday morning when Earl woke me up barfing on the pillow next to my head. Some cats are barfy--Earl is not. So this was a tad bit weird. Well, by the time Geej and I were leaving for our day, he'd puked another 5 times. Lovely. When I got home, 3 semi-dry piles of upchuck greeted me. I took up his food and told myself that if he was still hurling today, we'd give the vet a call. Well, guess what. This morning, he threw up another 5 times before the crack of 10am, so I called my vet (who is open from 9am to 1pm on Saturdays). I explained what was going on, but they had two emergency surgeries going on, so they weren't going to be able to see my big, barfy boy. So they referred me to the emregency vet not too far from where I live. We took him, and nothing unusual was found during the regular exam (of course), so they guilted me into a shitload of diagnostic testing and x-raying and whatnot. Now, he's home with me hydrated and anti-nausea medicated, and x-rayed, and CBC-ed. But at least he hasn't blown chunks since we got home. Even if I am $500 poorer, I'm glad to know he's feeling better. I hope he STAYS better, because I don't think I can afford another trip to the vet right now. Oh! And get this: My little fatty has lost TWO pounds since his annual exam last year. I totally attibute this to the fact that I transitioned him to "light" food after Ellen was no longer with us. He's still HUGE, but not as enormous as he used to be. Good boy...

Other things:
Mr. Wonderful starts his new job on 11/12, so he and I are trying to figure out the logistics of getting his ass down here. Right now, it's looking like I'll be flying up there to help him drive the U-Haul down here on 11/1. Oh. My. GOD!! I'm so freakin' excited. And I've got SO much to do to ger ready for him to arrive. I smell a garage sale in my immediate future...I gots to make some room, fools!

Speaking of Mr. W., I am heading to Boulder, CO next week with my entire work team to meet with our parallel team at the company we're merging with, and Mr. W. and I are going to be able to spend a wee bit of time together at the end of my trip. Boulder in October? GORGEOUS. I can't wait.

Geej and I are going to a birthday party tomorrow where there will be a pony for riding. Last time she had the opportunity to ride a pony, she was too scared. But she's been talking about this and fired up for a week now, so we'll see if she is ready to go for it. I hope so, because how else am I going to get her interested in this: Welcome to Ponyville! Holy CRAP, people!! How do I protect my daughter from this marketing onslaught? Jesus H. Christ. Speaking of...I have a whole bitchtastic post brewing about the whole branding/marketing thing and kiddos. I know it's not groundbreaking, but I'm just now facing it with my kiddo, and it makes me wanna punch someone in a suit. Hard.

Okay, I have so much more to write, but it's clogging my brain and I'm too tired. So I'll leave you with this piece of advice:

Do yourself a favor, and treat yourself to this month's playlist at davidbyrne.com. It's based on a cross-country driving trip he did with his daughter, and it's perfection. If I weren't already in love with Mr. Wonderful, I would TOTALLY stalk David Byrne.

Hear that?

That rumbling you hear is the annual Republic of Texas Biker Rally. They're expecting 50,000 bikers to invade Austin before the weekend's over. I'm on the 6th floor of my office building, which is situated at a very busy downtown intersection, and I've been able to hear them roaring through all day. It's 85 degrees, sunny, humid, and the town is full of bikers. Yep, summer's here.

The Geej is going to lose her effin' mind. She's SO crazy about motorcycles (thanks to my mom teaching her to yell "Hottie!" each time she sees someone on one).

More soon...

Spaaaaaaah Day

Really, why can't I have a day like this, say...once every other month? Hmmm? Oh yeah: I can't afford it.

But still...

First hour and a half--Hot stone massage. Oh lordy. Can I just tell you how fucked up I realized my lower back is during this massage? I mean, it's not good.

Next treatment (which took an hour), the avocado body mask--Listen kids, when you get old like me, you skin tends to lose a bit of that natural moisture it used to have in abundance. So basically, you start feeling like and itchy, dried up raisin. Yes, it's as sexy as it sounds. Anyhoo, this whole "winter," I've noticed this particular phenomenon more than ever (thank you surgically-induced menopause!!!), and damn if I haven't been one itchy, flaky mo-fo. So today this gal dry brushes all the sluff off of my skin, then she covers me in this deliciously amazing concoction that "she mixed up this morning" made of fresh avocados, cucumber and pure shea butter. Oh. My. LORD. I smelled like the best salad ever. Then you get wrapped in hot towels and covered neck to foot in a Steamy Wonder (tm), a steam tent that basically cooks you with that wonderful marinade on you. Meanwhile, up north, you're getting a scalp moisturization treatment and massage, and then a mini-facial. Wow. Yes, my skin feels like a 20 year old's right about now.

Finally, a spa pedicure (1 hour). It's sandal weather, people. Screw that "waiting until after Easter" bullshit when you live in Austin. My feet and toes needed their annual "lets get ready to appear in public" dust and shine. It was wonderful, and I even got to read People and Us Weekly while getting pedicurized. Extra bonus!!

After all of this insane luxury, I went and wandered around a book store. When was the last time I did that? God, I don't even know. Which is extra sad when you factor in the fact that I work across the street from one of the best independent bookstores in the country. Sigh. It was delightful, and I got out of there for less than $40.

Next up: Mindless movie. Went to see "Reno 911: Miami" with La Turista and had popcorn, Coke, and Twizzlers for lunch. Yum. The movie's not going to win any Oscars, but it was fun enough.

Went home. Decided to lie down "for a minute." The windows were open, and it was so pleasant. Plus, I was still feeling noodle-y from my spa treatments. Ended up sleeping for 2 1/2 hours. In the same position. Woke up stiff as the tin man and starving.

Started some laundry. Talked to The Geej and Dah. Tried to figure out if there was anything in this house I wanted to eat. Decided there wasn't. Called in an order to my favorite Thai place. Went to pick it up, and they were slammed! It took forever. I saw three people from work, and I looked like hammered/oily/relaxed hell. Oh well.

Came home, talked to Mr. Wonderful. I miss that guy. Ate dinner. Watched "Strangers With Candy." Finished laundry. Balanced checkbook.

Blogged.

See how important you are to me?

But seriously: Why can't I have a day like this once every other month?

Oh yeah...

Reasons #697 and #698 why living in Austin rules.

It's February 4th, and today The Geej and I ate lunch outside while hearing live music and wearing short sleeves.

Also? I went to a Super Bowl party with a big bunch of friends who also happen to be lezbos and who LURVED having Miss G around to fawn over. She even got her very own party football to drink out of!

Reason to Love Austin, #731

Public Substance Abuse

I was driving north on Lamar the other day around lunchtime. I was in between Barton Springs and Red River, and looked at this dude to my right who was waiting on the bus. Waiting on the bus can be boring, but luckily for him, he had a fully-loaded one-hitter and was hitting it for all it was worth. My windows were down and I could smell the pot.
Later the same day, I was on my way to get The Geej at her daycare in a swanky neighborhood near downtown, and had to pause to let this guy cross the street from the minimart to the laundromat with his sixer of Shiner. Doing laundry, getting loaded. Why the hell not?