Try to keep up.

This is going to be one of those all-over-the-map posts because I have nothing and everything to talk about.

I have about a gagillion songs in my iTunes. I am a music hoarder. It is my one regular financial indulgence. And having all of that wonderful stuff at my fingertips is a great source of joy to me. So, several months ago, I decided to make a playlist out of all of the songs in my iTunes that had no info in the "Last Played" column, i.e., songs that, in theory, I'd never listened to before. That playlist had something close to 6,000 songs in it. Crazy, no? So I started embarked on a journey of listening to each and every one of those songs, in alphabetical order. At work. In the car. Sometimes at home (when I was alone, which is almost never). After songs in the playlist are listened to, I delete them on the list. Sometimes they get added to other playlists (for example, my large "Mellow Dudes and Dames" list) and sometimes, if they are simply unlistenable, they get deleted altogether. I am now in the songs-that-begin-with-N part of the playlist. It has been an interesting journey, and only reaffirmed my great need for music in my life. I love how in just a few songs I can go from Young MC to The Spinanes to The Mingus Big Band to Calexico to Judas Priest. It's like an awesome radio station run by an insane person. Maybe, in a previous incarnation, I was a composer or accomplished musician because I am absolutely voracious when it comes to the stuff.

Another thing I love? Really good stand-up comedy. Tomorrow I'm going to get to see one of my absolute favorites, Patton Oswalt, at The Paramount. Over the past year, I've gotten to go see Aziz Ansari, Louis CK, Tim & Eric, Jerry Seinfeld and David Cross. In my lifetime, I've also gone to see Eddie Murphy, Wanda Sykes, Jon Stewart, Sam Kinison and Janeane Garofalo. Comedians fascinate me. I just can't imagine what it must feel like to stand in front of several thousand people, just KILLING them with your jokes and stories. I only wish there were more really, really funny female stand-ups, but it's just not a medium that many women find success in.

For about two weeks now, I have been in allergy Hell. Like most of the population of Austin, I dread January because it means that cedar season has arrived. People just start dropping like flies--hacking, coughing, sneezing and generally feeling like hammered shit. Shelves of antihistamines sell out at Walgreen's and the allergy report on the evening news becomes regular elevator conversation. And to add insult to injury, usually January is also host to some really beautiful, crisp sunny winter days--the kind that you want to spend the entire day outside, but if you do? You pay. Dearly.

I watched the President's speech at the memorial event for the victims of the Tuscon shootings. This whole episode--or more accurately, how this episode has been turned into a finger pointer's wet dream--really had me nervous for him. What would he say? What COULD he say? But, aside from his halting delivery (which bugs me no matter what the topic), his message was beautiful, and he came across as more sincere and presidential than he's seemed in a long time. This was the man I voted for.

I've got around 500 Facebook friends, and a LOT of them are very right-leaning, conservative, Christian, Obama-haters. Which is fine. To each his or her own. But oh MAN am I ever sick of them a) posting Bible verses and b) posting photos of them and/or their kids holding up the limp head of some deer or other animal they've just killed. It just makes me want to post a photo of a really awesome dump I take along with some passages from Dianetics. ANNOYING!!

And not to get too far in the political weeds, but I have just got to spend some time talking about this asshat, Louie Gohmert. You know how much the existence of Toby Keith, Justin Bieber and Nancy Grace pisses me off? Well take that, and multiply it by about 10,000, and you get some idea of how I feel about Mr. Gohmert. Why? Well, I have several reasons, but the main one is that he's an absolute embarrassment.
He comes across as a paranoid, small-minded doofus. Don't believe me? Go to YouTube and put his name in the search box. Watch just a few minutes of him speaking on the floor of the House. Maybe about "Don't Ask Don't Tell" or about terror anchor babies. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Oh good! You're back!! See what I mean? WORLD-CLASS DOOFUS! And I, for one, am so sick of the south and Texas being, literally, represented by slow-witted nimrods like this. It just perpetuates the negative stereotypes that people have about us southerners/Texans, and that irks me. Also, he's one of these elected officials who really blurs the lines between religion and governance to the detriment of those whose religious beliefs are not the same as his. Was this guy really the BEST option for the voters in my hometown's congressional district? If so, wow. That's just sad as Hell.

I had the biggest, nastiest zit on my right cheek this week. That's right: allergy-ridden AND pock-marked. Anyway, The Geej was pretty fascinated with it. "What IS it, Mommy?" "But what IS a pimple?!" "It's disGUSTing!" Sigh. She also told me one morning this week that my jeans were too little, and she often asks me, "Are you going to brush your hair?" Nothing like having a little diva around to keep you humble...

Okay. Maybe that's enough rambling for now. Thanks for hanging in there with this weird post. Hope you don't have change-of-topic whiplash.

Four things:

1. I'm assuming, but not 100% sure, that there was no toddler sitting in this seat.

2. It's raining! Which is great. But OMFG, people. My mold allergies are making me feel like I consumed 10 gallons of King Cobra last night, but alas, I did not.

3. I think Diane has one of the oddest kitteh coats I've ever seen. She's mostly grey tabby, but then she's got these pieces of her that look like were stolen from an orange tabby (the two toes on her left front paw; her belleh; the stripe on her left back leg and her front right arm). It's like she was assembled from the remnants at the kitten factory. But MAN does she ever know how to stretch out and relax. Sometimes it's like she's boneless.

I mean LOOK at her back legs. What cat lays like this?!

4. This photo does NOT do the weirdness of this lady's outfit justice:

Note the boots; ankle-high, black, fringed. And her hair is braided w/beads. And then there's the "pants." And she was wearing a leopard print bandana/scarf thing on her face with HUGE sunglasses on. And then there's all the Betty Boop--on her back bumper, on her helmet, and (you can't see it from here, but trust me) on her handlebars. I'm guessing that there's a couple of Betty Boop tattoos involved in this story as well, but I really don't want to know where they are.

That is all. For now...

I'm only doing this because I'm sick.

I don't know if it's the cedar in the air or what, but for the past 36 hours, I've been feeling progressively like a prominent member of the Undead Society. Coughing. Headache. Sneezing. Runny nose. Etc. Normally, "seasonal" and "environmental" allergies don't faze me. And this is saying something seeing as how I live in the Allergy Capital of the Freakin' World. (Does your local weather forecast include and "allergy forecast"? Because it does in Austin!) But maybe they ARE really getting to me for some reason. Or maybe I'm finally catching the bug that has been going around for about 6 weeks and has kicked the collective ASSES of friends, coworkers, and family around me. Who knows. Who cares. I just feel like hammered dogshit and want to feel better so BH and I can go out and have some fun tomorrow night. I mean, we have a babysitter, reservations, and everything!!

So in lieu of having the mental energy to create a REAL post, please entertain yourself with this video of one of my kittehs--Doug--playing fetch.


Enjoy!