Dumb Cats and Cute Kids

Almost immediately after I clicked "Publish Post" last week, I got up to check on my cat Doug becuase he was scratching himself. A lot. It was annoying, and I wanted to check him up close to ensure he wasn't bringing fleas into the house. What I discovered was a large, abscessed puncture wound in his side that he was scratching and licking. It was fucking gross, y'all. I immediately thought three things:

1. How had I not noticed this?! It was pretty obvious--especially since the fur around it was ostensibly gone. And it was gross. Did I mention that?
2. I needed to get his stupid ass to the vet ASAP to have it looked at.
3. I KNEW this kind of shit was going to start happening when we started letting him roam around outside, But what choice did we have? Keep him inside, meowyling and pacing and occasionally pissing on stuff to show us how mad he was? Or let him outside where he can roam, be happy, roll in the dirt, and potentially get injured. Sigh.

Got him in the vet that morning. And $320 later they'd examined him, sedated him, cleaned his wound, dosed him with antibiotics and put a fabric cone on his big, dumb head.

Behold:

Ugh. Luckily, he's been pretty tolerant of the damn thing and his wound is healing nicely. I take him back to the vet today to hopefully get his stitches out and cone removed. He'll be outside rolling in the dirt again by this weekend. Bastard.

Meanwhile, Diane has become obsessed with getting in the linen cabinet in our bathroom and sleeping on top of the towels.

Remind me again why I have these animals?



Getting more and more excited about the writing workshop in Portland. I got to meet a fellow Austinite who's going to the workshop as well. She's pretty great--my age, teaches improv, writing a novel. I'm looking forward to getting to know her better and having a familiar, friendly face there with me. The main thing I need to do now is to get my manuscript ready and submitted by 5/31. This will be the version that gets "workshopped" so it's very important that it be in good shape by then. Which means I've got a shit ton of work to do between now and late May. When will I find the time, people? I mean, I can barely find the time and energy to blog once a week these days, and when I do, it's at 5:00am in the morning when I've been unable to go back to sleep after a 4:00am trip to the bathroom.

Let's see...what else....

Oh! Yesterday was the 6th anniversary of The Geej's "Gotcha Day". And in celebration of that, here's a photo I took on Monday of the little toot:

Other than the fact that our deck is in serious need of a re-sealing, what do you see in this picture?

I see a child who as recently, and seemingly overnight, gone from "little girl" to "big girl", what with that long hair, those long limbs and her very self-aware posing for maximum cuteness.

I see a girly girl who is very concerned with what she wears (seriously?! It starts this early?!) but not old enough yet to eschew hand-me-downs (that dress is one that we just received from friends in a big batch of hand-me-downs received on Sunday--she was "modeling" it for me).

I see a whipsmart child who is headstrong and willful at times and very unsure and self-conscious at others.

I see a serious goofball.

I see my crossroads.

And he's back.

Within a couple of hours of writing the post about Doug hauling ass, prison-break style, he was back at home snoozing with a full belly. He'd been spotted in some bushes in front of a house on the street behind us. When he saw us, he skeedaddled into a back yard and got tormented by some bluejays and mockingbirds for a while. Then, once it started steadily drizzling, he decided to scale the fence and come home, meyowling the whole time. Sigh. I'm glad he's back, but we're definitely going to have to take steps to make him an indoor/outdoor creature or we're all going to go insane.

This afternoon, The Geej, Dah and I are going to get all kinds of cultural and go see a performance by the Vienna Boys' Choir. I love choral music (most of it, anyway) and was a big choir nerd back in middle school and junior high, so when I saw they were coming, I quickly bought tickets. Also, because The Geej likes music and likes to sing so much, I'm hoping she'll be inspired by what she sees and hears. But she may just be bored out of her mind. We'll see.

Later this evening, we're going to dinner with my in-laws. Luckily, I actually LIKE my mother-in-law and her husband. A lot. So this is a treat. Also, since they live several hours away, it's a rare treat.

And then? I've got work to do this evening. Work work. I'm worried that I'm never going to dig out of this hole I dug by being out sick for four days. At least, I'm not going to be able to dig out during normal work hours alone. So if I'm silent for a few days, you know why. 

I'm Up!

"But why are you up and blogging at such an early hour on a Saturday, Karla May?"

Well, that's a very good question. The Geej is at Dah's house (yesterday was a school holiday, so she had a sleepover), it quiet and cloudy, and I love to sleep. And yet, I'm awake.

You see, the stupider of our two cats, Doug, has been jonesing for the outdoors. So much so that we experimented with taking him out on a harness/leash type thing, but neither of us liked that situation much. But for the past month, he's become kind of insufferable--meowing and yowling at the top of his lungs almost constantly, pacing back and forth and making it very clear to everyone within earshot that he really, really, REALLY wants to gothefuckoutside. Which would be fine EXCEPT:

1. He hasn't had his check-up/shots in over a year, so he has no up-to-date tags.
2. He has no collar on which to hang his up-to-date tags (were he to have some).
3. We live on a fairly busy corner near an extremely busy road, and he has zero self-preservation instincts.
4. There are at least 2 cats who patrol this part of the neighborhood--it is their turf. And both of these cats are outdoor veterans who could (and would) whip poor Doug's dumb ass six ways from Sunday.
5. Heartbreak and vet bills. Don't have 'em. Don't want 'em. (See items 3 and 4, above.)

And yet.

Last night we dared to go to sleep with some of the windows along the back of the house open, and Doug busted out one of the screens and made a break for it. (His more well-behaved and content sister, Diane, stayed behind thankfully.) How did I know he'd escaped? Well, when I got up to pee and take my meds (being 42 is fun!!) at about 6:30, I got back into bed and it was oddly quiet. No annoying and agonized meyowling going on. So I asked BH, "Did you throw Whinebag out into the garage?" (Which is what we sometimes do just to get some peace.) And when he said no, I knew something was up. So I investigated and (cue the dramatic reveal music), there was the evidence of the busted open screen.

I got dressed, grabbed the treat can, and went around the houses immediately around us, calling his name and hoping I'd hear him squeaking. No luck. Then BH got on his scooter and was going to do the slow roll through the neighborhood to see if he saw him, and lo and behold--A SIGHTING!! Doug was crouched in some bushes in front of a house on the cul-de-sac behind our house. But then, he ran and is now (we think) in the back yard of that house, being harassed by bluejays and mockingbirds. Wonder what will happen when those folks let their dog out in the back yard in a little bit...

So, he's alive. But who knows when (if) he'll reappear at our doorstep. And then what? We won't be able to have our windows open during any of the upcoming lovely spring days because of Hairy Houdini?

Pray for us, people. These are trying times over here at Casa de Pine Curtain.

New Year Musings

2010 is in the books. 2011 begins.

Christmas was calm and lovely. The Geej woke up super early Christmas Day to find pretty much everything she'd asked for (except that Moxie Girl crap) had been left by one Mr. S. Claus. She got the iPod Touch (Santa found a pre-owned, 2nd generation model and got if for a bargain), and has barely put it down since. Dah and her man came over Christmas morning to hang out and have brunch. And then BH's boys came to town for the week. It was all good.

The boys went back home yesterday, and New Year's eve was suuuuuuuuuuuper low key. The Geej and I lunched, shopped, and practed her roller skating. It's pretty difficult to teach roller skating when you're not actually wearing roller skates. She's had a couple of minor spills (that have scared her, but not hurt her), but she's plugging away, trying to learn. The weather has been pretty amazing, so we've gotten to spend some nice time outside.

Speaking of outside, our cat Doug has been expressing a LOT of vocal interest in exploring the outside. So I got a wild hair up my butt and bout a harness for him, thinking that he could explore the back yard while on a lead. (I just don't want him cruising around outside without some safeguards because he's not too bright and we live very near a busy street--bad combo.) So how's it working out?

Like this:


Redonkulous, right?

This evening we'll have the traditional cornbread, blackeyed peas and greens (none of which pleases The Geej) in order to get our new year started out right with starch, luck and money, and then life returns to normal whe The Geej heads back to school on Tuesday.

I have no major resolutions, but I do have some wishes and hopes for this year:

Finish up the updates we're making to our carpet and kitchen.
Travel outside of the U.S. at least once (Canada? United Kingdom? I really don't care at this point.)
No surgeries or major illnesses for anyone in my family.
More writing.
Major purge of the storage room and garage.
Get The Geej into some sort of music lessons.
New glasses.
Vegetable garden.
Happy, wonderful wedding for my mother.
Professional happiness and success.
Read more books.
More bonding with my stepsons. (Perhaps an actual family trip.)
A better football season for the Longhorns.
And much, much more.
And I also hope that if you're reading this, that you have a prosperous, healthy 2011. Keep reading, okay?

Oh Lordy.

What you are looking at is 33 boxes of engineered hardwood, underlayment, and flooring-related stuff that will begin being installed on Monday morning. And Doug.

Doug Tries To Help.

Headline News

Remember the Kactus Kitteh Kollection (tm) given to me by my mom some time ago? I hate to tell you this, but it seems as if one of the kittehs has developed a pretty serious looking brain tumor. It's growing right out of head above her right ear. Sad, no?

In happier news, some Morning Glory seeds I planted a while back have taken off, and we got our first bloom last weekend:

And in non-plant related news, it appears that Doug is a big fan of warm, clean piles of men's underwear and socks:

This is a public service announcement. Don't let this happen to you, kids!

I wonder what they're looking at.

It must be really interesting, right?

I mean, they're transfixed! It's got to be something super fascinating.

They seriously can't seem to get enough of whatever it is they're looking at!

Oh. It's a leopard gecko with its chin on its log.

Which reminds me: Did you know that the brain of a domestic feline is roughly the size of a prune?

Lunchtime Bullets

• Today is "Presidential Indoctrination of The Youth of America" day. I expect to see all of the tween and teens who witnessed today's indoctrination (what with its subliminal messages and hardcore "Socialism will clear up your acne and get you dates!" theme) roaming the streets, zombielike and drooling, while demanding government funded abortions and a seat on Meemaw's upcoming death panel. You've been warned, America!
• Seriously, people are ridiculous.
• I think the main thing a lot of people were afraid of (but would never admit to) about this whole thing is that their children would be asked to sit down and respectfully listen to a black man of authority.
• Again, completely absurd.
• I am ready for summer to end. Like now. So damn sick of it.
• I'm enjoying some new (at least to me) music I've recently downloaded: Lightning Dust, Yeasayer, Yo La Tengo's latest, The Clientele, and Carly Simon. Yes, I meant to type the words "Carly Simon."
• Shut up.
• I'm trying to get BH to decide on an anniversary trip--either to Tennessee to drive around the Smoky Mountains and see the leaves or to The Grand Canyon. I want to get something on the calendar!
• I am currently reading "The Reader." No, I haven't seen the movie. And normally, I don't like fiction too much. But this, I'm really enjoying.
• My kitties, Doug and Diane, are now a year old. But they still wrestle and play like kittens, which is equal parts adorable and annoying.
• I'm excited about the new fall TV season starting back up. Especially about a few new shows: Glee, Community, Bored to Death, and the resurrection of Curb Your Enthusiasm.
• I'm also excited because there's an Indian restaurant coming to my zipcode. Most of the decent Indian food is located north of the river, so it'll be nice to have some closer to home. (My stomach just growled when I typed those last two sentences, by the way.)
• I am getting sick of watching "My First Place" and "Property Virgins" on HGTV and seeing these couples in their late 20s/early 30s with downpayments of $100k in the bank and budgets of $400k or $900k looking for houses. It makes me want to vomit.
• Saw "500 Days of Summer" this past weekend. I liked it a lot, however they could've eased up on the super close ups of Zooey Daschenel's eyes. WE GET IT!! SHE HAS GORGEOUS BLUE EYES! AND HER "SIGNATURE COLOR" IS BLUE!! ENOUGH ALREADY!
• BH fixed some sort of water pressure regulator thing that's been broken since I moved in to my house and, as a result, we now have normal water pressure. Hooray!!
• Got my hair color taken down a notch--not quite as light blonde. It was just too drastically different from my roots and made my hair look dirty all the time. Now it's more natural.
• I have two new sites that I check every day in order to fill my life with the cute and the bizarre--Zooborns and People Of Walmart (which is currently down, probably because Walmart slapped them with some sort of cease and desist order or something stupid like that).
• Which reminds me: If you ever want to feel like a real supermodel, go to one of our nation's theme parks. When I went to Sea World last month, I felt positively waifish amid all of the seriously, terrifyingly obese men, women and children there. It was alarming, to say the least.
• And I'll leave you with a photo of Doug chillaxing:

Because I'm a dork.

Here is a photo of my kittehs enjoying their morning sunbeam.

Say it with me now people: Awwwwwwww...

And here they are tormenting our leopard gecko while she tries to chow down on a few meal worms. They are FASCINATED with her and come and watch "The Gecko Show" every time we feed her.

And here's Doug celebrating 4/20 the other day. DUDE! How totally baked is he?!

Big cat in a little house.

Doug is getting big. But he still likes to cram himself into small bags, boxes, or whatever happens to be lying around. It's all fair game. Take this little "Old MacDonald's Farm" barn thingie (which officially belongs to The Geej).

He started out like this:

And then it morphed into this:

And the whole thing sort of reminds me of this:

I'm only doing this because I'm sick.

I don't know if it's the cedar in the air or what, but for the past 36 hours, I've been feeling progressively like a prominent member of the Undead Society. Coughing. Headache. Sneezing. Runny nose. Etc. Normally, "seasonal" and "environmental" allergies don't faze me. And this is saying something seeing as how I live in the Allergy Capital of the Freakin' World. (Does your local weather forecast include and "allergy forecast"? Because it does in Austin!) But maybe they ARE really getting to me for some reason. Or maybe I'm finally catching the bug that has been going around for about 6 weeks and has kicked the collective ASSES of friends, coworkers, and family around me. Who knows. Who cares. I just feel like hammered dogshit and want to feel better so BH and I can go out and have some fun tomorrow night. I mean, we have a babysitter, reservations, and everything!!

So in lieu of having the mental energy to create a REAL post, please entertain yourself with this video of one of my kittehs--Doug--playing fetch.


Enjoy!

Ladies and Gentlemen: Doug and Diane

This is Doug (sticking his big, goofy head under the Christmas tree skirt and attacking BH's hand): And this is Diane (snoozing on the couch and not minding being covered up in a bankie a bit):

That's right. As of yesterday, we now have two smallish new feline members added to our family roster.

Here's how it went down:

When Earl was sick, I was going to his vet's office once (and sometimes twice) a day dealing with everthing. During that time, I got to know the staff quite well, and bonded with them over what was happening. Plus, they all LOVED Earl (I mean, who didn't, right?), and so they knew me, I knew them, etc. After Earl died, they sent me a beautiful flower arrangement and all signed the condolences card. It meant a lot.

Anyway, earlier this week, one of the vet techs--a gal named Becca--called and said that she'd been fostering a sweet orange male kitten and his sister, and let me know I could meet them if interested. Bless her heart, she was SO sweet, and worried about if it was "too soon" for me, and let me know that it was "really awkward" for her to call me but that he was "such a great kitty" that she thought of me as a potential owner. I considered this sort of a sign. As a matter of fact I WAS ready, and was incidentally, looking for a male/female pair of litter mates to adopt. It just seemed like kismet.

So I made BH go with me to meet them on Wednesday, and by Thursday afternoon, I'd called her and told her I wanted them.

Doug is bigger than his sister. He's SO playful and has a very loud purr. He's solid orange but has a tinge of lighter colored fur on his upper chest area. He's terribly handsome.

Diane is very petite and quite gorgeous. She's a grey tabby (as opposed to Ellen who was brown) and has an orange paw and a smattering of white on her upper chest. Her eyes are a beautiful grey, and her whiskers are half white, half black. And she very much likes kicking her big brother's ass.

It is very weird being around active, inquisitive, playful, mischevious cats who like each other after my last two cats being the opposite of every one of those words I just typed. They're about 4.5 to 5 mos. old, and aren't shy or skittish at all.

I'm definitely falling in love. Merry Christmas to us.