And I Somehow Survive Another August

I know I've bitched about the heat and drought and whatnot, so I promise not to do that in this post. In fact, if you wanna read some really well-crafted weather-bitching, then I'd urge you to check out this fine blog by fellow Austinite and heat-sufferer, Kathy.

Even though the weather hasn't changed one little bit, I'm so effing happy that August is dunzo that I feel like dancing a very sweaty jig in the middle my crispy lawn. But I like my neighbors too much to do that to them.

I really have no news to report other than some random goings on.

The Geej is adjusting to her new teacher and being back in the school-groove. I really feel like her principal and school counselor are on top of things, which is super helpful when it comes to my piece of mind. So I think we're all going to survive second grade even if having to get her there by 7:35am, M - F is killing me dead.

Work is going well. I've been working on some projects I'm enjoying and that are requiring me to use the ol' noodle in a good way. And I'm busy. Very, very busy. My annual (not really annual since I haven't had one since 12/09) performance review is coming up next week, so you know. There's that. Last time, I got a whopping 2% raise after enduring a 2-year salary freeze. Who knows what will happen this time. In this economy, I'm just incredibly thankful to have a job.

Found out a friend of mine--my age and a mother of two--has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Again. Her first round was about a year-and-a-half ago, and she caught it early, treated it w/radiation, and it went away. But this time, it's more serious and she's opting for a double mastectomy. She's going to be fine--I just know it--but I also know that she's the absolute glue that holds her family together. I worry about how they're going to do during all of this almost as much as I worry about her. Fucking cancer...

Speaking of, my uncle who passed away from fucking cancer A YEAR AND A HALF ago STILL doesn't have a fucking headstone on his grave. What the disrespectful FUCK, y'all?! I'm not sure why this pisses me off so much, but it does. And it confirms, yet again, that I have no desire to be buried in a graveyard. The whole exercise is weird and creepy to me (as if death weren't weird and creepy enough).

Tonight, The Geej and I will be spending the night at Dah's house. Why? Well because Dah and her Plungette group will be marching in tomorrow's Oatmeal Festival parade, of course. I'm it will be filled with good ol' small town Texas charm and I'm betting that the people watching is going to be spectacular. I'll try and post some pictures post facto. BH will not be attending the parade, however, because he's going to go hang with his boys for the day. Seems the town they live in is having the grand opening of a bad-assed new skatepark, and the guys are pretty stoked about it. Do the kids still say "stoked," by the way? Oh, who the fuck cares.

2000th Post

My mom's getting married this evening. They were going to do it on April 16th (and are still planning on having a big party to celebrate on that date), but decided to go ahead and take the plunge on Valentine's Day. She notified me of this new plan last Friday, and I was planning to attend but...I'VE GOT THE GODDAMNED FLU.

It started on Saturday night--that vague, annoying tickle in the back of the throat that almost always preceedes me getting some kind of sick. But this hit me like a freight train yesterday afternoon, and by last night I was feverish and coughing and battling a horrible headache. Got in to see the doctor this afternoon and she sent me home with a diagnosis, a Tamiflu prescription, and the news that I would be contaigous for at least 3 more days.

So my wonderful husband took The Geej and they went to my mother's wedding in Marble Falls. And here I sit, on Valentine's night, by myself, miserable and blogging. Hey, well at least I'll get to catch up on some of the stuff clogging up my DVR. Wait, that's super depressing. I think I'm gonna go hit the NyQuil and call it a day. Hopefully my next post will be filled with rainbows and giggles.

The Wind In My Hair And Snot In My Head

The purchase of Klaus (that's my new car's name) coincided with two things: the first cool front of the autumn season (Yay!) and a spike in the mold/ragweed that's in the air. So yes I've been riding around with Klaus's top down whenever possible, but the result is that I'm 80% dead due to hardcore seasonal allergies. From the neck up, I'm just a big ol' glob of snot encased in a skull. Sunday--the first day after enjoying Klaus--I woke up and, literally, couldn't speak because my throat was so fucked up. I got some OTC meds, dosed myself, and suffered through the day, only to end up going to bed at 5:45pm, full of NyQuil. It helped. I'm functional now, but really, really gross sounding.

Let's see, what else...

Oh yes! Last night Jaye and I went to Stubb's to see Pavement. We were so lame, we left about an hour into the show, and ended up getting home at 9:45pm. I've pretty much decided that, unless I truly, deeply, insanely love a band, I don't want to go to any more "sold out" shows at Stubb's. It's just NOT enjoyable being crammed into that venue with that many other humans. Especially when the humans you're crammed in there with are all smoking and fairly drunk. It was just an annoy-a-thon from the get-go. And although I really like Pavement, I don't LOVE LOVE LOVE them like I do some other bands, so it just wasn't worth the hassle to stay to the end of the show. Luckily, the next five shows I have tickets to are seated.

I am old. There, I said it.

When I arrived home in my neighborhood after last night's show (top down, of course), there were still news trucks, police cars, and rude-ass gawkers standing outside of this guy's house. Yep. He lived on my street. Sad story. All of it.

Tomorrow night, Bookhart and I are beginning a 6-week writing workshop led by the wonderful Spike Gillespie. I'm beyond excited. I'm hoping it will help me get (what's left of) my mojo back. Plus, the idea of just having 2 hrs. a week dedicated to being creative and getting to hang out with Bookhart as well just makes me way happy.

To celebrate our 2nd anniversary, I booked a little house on the river near the charming little town of Wimberly for a long weekend. It looks adorable, sits on 25 acres, and has 500+ feet of riverfront. Can't wait.

Finally, it looks like my mom and this man she's been dating for several months are getting pretty serious. They're talking marriage. I'm happy for her and am looking forward to getting to know him better. I'm not sure how well The Geej is going to take having to share her precious Dah's affections for the first time ever, but I'm sure she'll adjust. Speaking of The Geej, she is digging Klaus. She said she wantst to grow her hair long enough to put in a ponytail while she's cruising around in the back seat.

That kid...

Summertime Rolls...

How in the hell are we more than 1/2 way through with July, people?! That means that 2010 is 1/2 way over and that I'm (almost) 41 and 1/2. 'Tis crazy indeed.

Had a great time in Florida. Wonderful weather, good friends, and lots of laughs. I even got some color on my so-white-it's-practically-translucent skin. In fact, my right armpit is peeling as we speak--sexxxy. The thing with those long weekend type of vacations is that just when you finally start to get really relaxed, it's time to go home. See this picture?

THAT is relaxed. I was the only one in Lane's fabulous pool, and I felt like I was being gently held up by some invisible hand. Ahhh...

And when I say "fabulous pool", I really mean it. LOOK at this thing!

Not shabby in the least.

My biggest news from my trip is that I got my nose pierced. I'd been thinking about doing it since I was in my 30s, but it never seemed to be the right time. However, July 17th in Ft. Myers seemed like the perfect time, so I went and got it done in between attending an opening at an art gallery and dinner. No big whoop. I didn't even flinch.

I like the way it looks, and so far, so good with the healing.

Unfortunately, I don't have enough time off in my "bank" to do the smart thing and take the day AFTER I get back from a trip off too--you know, to recuperate, do laundry, grocery shop, pay bills, etc. So after arriving in Austin at 7:45pm on Sunday evening--BOOM--I was back at work bright and early Monday morning. No, I wasn't very productive that day.

Now the big focus is The Geej. She has only two more days at her school, which is something I'm having a very hard time fathoming. Then she goes to spend most of next week with Dah. At the end of the week (on 7/30), the little turkey turns SIX, and on that Saturday, The Big Waterslide Birthday Extravaganza at our house. Good LORD, what was I thinking. Next week I will be running around like a crazy person preparing for the party and, at some point, visiting potential after-school care options because first grade starts a month from this Friday. A MONTH FROM THIS FRIDAY!!!!

August is usually my least favorite month of the year, but I'm actually looking forward to it for maybe the first time ever. Why? Well, there's going to be lots of great stuff going on. Going to Stubb's to see Crowded House. (I love Neil Finn with the fiery passion of 10,000 suns, so to say I'm excited is an understatement.) The Geej in two week-long back-to-back theatre/performance camps that each culminate with, well, a performance! The trip with The Geej and Dah to San Diego (which is still a surprise, btw. I can't WAIT to tell her!). Then the beginning of first grade, followed by (most likely) a work trip to NYC. Crazy, no?

Yes, the summertime is rolling on by, and I'm trying my best to roll with it. 

Summer Plans!!

Two really cool things my mom did for me when I was a kiddo were a) send me to summer camp and b) plan mother/daughter trips for the two of us. We went to London, and New York City, and Disneyland/Universal Studios and Washington D.C. and Hawaii together. And I got to go to a summer camp that I dearly loved (and still do) every summer from age 10 to 16. I know she had to save like CRAZY to make these things happen, but she never made it seem like a sacrifice. It was just fun. Now that I'm a parent of an almost-six-year-old, I can fully understand how much being able to do these things for me meant to her.

Dah and I have taken The Geej to a couple of places--the beach on South Padre Island and the Hyatt Hill Country/Sea World in San Antonio--and both of those trips were really fun and nice. But I just booked our best trip yet: In August, we're going to San Diego to stay in a kick-ass hotel with awesome pools and kids' stuff AND we're going to go to LEGOLAND and the San Diego Zoo.

Here's the kick ass hotel:

See? GORGEOUS!! Holy crap, the smoke is still coming off of my MasterCard after all of the online booking and pre-payment that went on today. However, I'm so excited that it doesn't even matter.

And how sweet is this: They've got this special "Africa" thing going on at the San Diego Wild Animal Park, and I'll be damned if the summer camp she's in right now isn't totally focused on learning about Africa! It was meant to be, people. Hakuna ma tada!

So my plan is to give her a card on her birthday with a calendar page in it marking down the days until we leave, along with a map that shows where we'll be traveling to and pictures printed off of the hotel, Lego Land and Zoo websites. I'm about to burst!!

Speaking of her birthday, I booked this (yes, on my poor MasterCard once again) for Miss Thang's party:

She'd only been asking for a "bouncy house waterslide birthday party" since, um, Christmas, so I figured it had to happen. Our back yard is wide, but not very deep, so we had to (thankfully) opt for one of the smallest options. But, as they say, it's not the size that matters.

I'm also happy to say that I've booked a weekend trip to see some of my girls in Florida in July. Yes, it's the same crew I visited in spring '09 (plus a couple of additions), so I can only imagine what kind of fun we're going to have. I doubt we'll be aggressively flauted again. But you never know...

Payback's a bitch.

Remember a few posts ago when I introduced you to the Kactus Kitteh Kollection (tm) that my mother had given to BH and I? Well, BH and I were down at the coast this past weekend (more on that in my next post), and I wanted to get her something to thank her for helping make this kid-free trip possible. As luck would have it, BH and I happened upon this craft fair in Rockport: You know the kind...it's in a small park area, lots of booths of people who are selling their "art" that they make on the weekends. And knives. Lots and lots of knives for sale too.

Well, we ran across a booth manned by this 6' 4", 300lb. Winter Texan who was selling his entire invetory of hand made planters in preparation of heading back to Minnesota. And what was so special about these hand made planters? They were sort of reminicent of "Time Out" dolls--those creepy headless dolls you might see leaning up against a corner at my ex-Mother in law's some old lady's house. You know what I'm talking about, right? They look like this:

"Time Out Kid"--I'm in wots and wots of twouble!

Anyhoo, our friend the Minnesotan had taken this concept and tweaked it a bit in order to make dozens and dozens of these:

Half-body Child Planter

Yep. It's as pitiful looking as it appears in this photo. Grody little kid shoes and sad looking little kid short (and skirts), that cover up the "legs" that form the base of this planter. Of course, it was the PERFECT gift for my mother, so we made the Minnesotan's day and purchased this one, which I'm pretty sure, was the fugliest one of the lot.

When we got back to Austin, I high-tailed it to Lowe's to purchase the perfect plant, and then to Michael's for the rest of the decor and, VOILA!

Her name is Kiki, and she's the LIFE of the party!

Trying to safely transport Kiki to my mom proved to be a serious challenge. She kept tumping* over, losing rocks and dirt and injuring me. Little bitch. But she's now been transfered into my mom's possession, and I'm hopeful she'll live a long, happy life in Horseshoe Bay with Mom.

*Tump means to tip over/dump over. It's a real word, even if you think it's not.

My mother KILLS me.

It's spring break week here in Austin. For us, that means that The Geej is getting to spend some quality one-on-one time with my mother, Dah. Today BH, The Geej and I drove out took advantage of the picture-perfect weather, and drove all the way out to Dah's to leave The Geej for her week of merriment and mischief.

Prior to going out there, I'd spoken to Dah on the phone, and she'd told me that she had gotten us "some really cool plants". Background: Yesterday Dah volunteered to work at the Marble Falls "Market Days" event. It's basically one of those things that towns do where they shut down Main Street and vendors put up booths to sell their wares. A lot of the small, local shops and restaurants have taken a very hard hit in that adorable little town over the past couple of years, so the fact that there were going to be close to 400 vendor booths and amazing weather was a really nice shot in the arm for the local economy. Well, while Dah was there, of course she did a little shopping, and two of the items she picked up, and then generously gifted us with were the following:

Cactus Cats Sculpture Thingie

Um...

I don't know what to be more afraid of: the fact that a) there's some "artisan" out there making these things, b) that my mom felt that it was worth the $40 she spent on it or c) that when she saw this thing, she immediately thought, "Oh! Karla May and BH NEED this for their front porch!"

I couldn't help but nearly wetting myself laughing at this thing when she gave it to me. I know that seems shitty and ungrateful but really? Catctus cats with googly eyes surrounded by pink silk flowers and wearing pink bandanas?! REALLY?! Holy crap, I'm just sitting here crying laughing as I type this. Damn, maybe this thing WAS worth $40 after all...

Her instructions to me were to "take out all the fake crap" and that would make it look better.

Nope. Still pretty horrible. But OMFG, I love it.

Next up, a carnivorous "pitcher" plant that "eats" bugs:

Okay. I'll give it to her on this one: it is pretty damn cool. I mean, aside from the fact that she just HAD to say that the "pitchers" look like condoms (which now? I'll NEVER be able NOT to think of), it's kind of awesome.

God, I love that woman.

Scenes from the summer

Punk/New Wave Karaoke Night with the girls.

Watching the Geej perform her role as a Turtle of Barton Creek in "Bella the Bat."

A minor leauge baseball game in Frisco, TX.

Sibling kitteh lurve.

The view and a salad from a WONDERFUL dinner at the Southwest Bistro in the Hyatt.

My utterly futile daily battle against bedhead.

Some horse lips flapping in the breeze while traveling down IH-35.

Staying cool by any means necessary.

Trying like Hell to keep the plants in our beds alive.

More salad. (This one's an heirloom tomato salad with olive vinagrette that I made.)

Keeping cool at the Hill Country Hyatt, in San Antonio.

Sporting a tattoo and braids because that's what you do when you're on vacation.

Going to Sea World on a day when there were no crowds or lines, which meant you got to ride this thing three times in a row with your fearless five year old.

Seeing the shows at Sea World. (Check out my mom's sweet purple hat with sequins on it! And is it just me, or does she look like she's about 40 rather than her real age?)

Eating more salad. (This one was a sumer squash, corn and shrimp salad, once again made by moi.)

And meeting this guy.

There. I feel sort of caught up. The Geej is now back in school (Kindergarten), and I am praying temperatures below 90 and rain on a daily basis. And so it goes.

My first post as a forty year old person.

Whoa.

How the hell did THAT happen?! All of the sudden, poof, I'm freakin' FORTY years old!! I need a new driver's license. I'm pretty sure I need bifocals. And I'm entering a new actuarial category.

Ugh. I simply cannot believe it. And PLEASE don't give me that mug-appropriate platitude crap that, "You're only as young as you feel!" and whatnot. Bullshit. I'm forty. Now I just need to be able to deal with it. So far, I'm off to a pretty good start.

Let me tell you how amazingly perfect my birthday has been.

On Thursday night before, BH took me out to one of my favorite swanky restaurants as a make-up for us having to cancel last Saturday night. I ordered wrong from the menu, but other than that, it was a perfectly magnificent dinner.

Yesterday--the acutal Day Of--I took the day off of work. This has become pretty much a tradition for me. I have spent the past few years treating myself to a completely indulgent day on my birthday in order to ease the pain of being one year closer to death. (Bookhart does this too, and we think you should as well. Come ON! You deserve it!)

I have to say that this particular year was one of the best because

a) it was a Friday

b) it was fookin' GORGEOUS outside, which can be extraordinarily rare for those of us with birthdays in January

c) I'm sort of burned out on work at the moment

d) I scheduled and planned it to a tee

Allow me to break it down for you:

8:45 am--My monthly visit from our cleaning service arrives to clean my entire house.

9:00 am--A potato, egg, cheese and jalapeno breakfast taco and a small coke. Breakfast excellence.

9:30 am--An AMAZING facial that included a gylcolic peal and a hydrating hand and foot treatment AND scalp massage.

11:00 am--A very badly needed manicure.

12:40 pm--A small popcorn, a large bottled water, and "Slumdog Millionaire" all by myself

3:00 pm--An hour-long massage

4:20 pm--Checking of the e-mail. Reading of the dozens of sweet birthday wishes on Facebook. Packing of the bag. And a brief rendezvous with BH who was headed out to get his youngest boy for the weekend.

I'm going to pause here to let you in on a little secret about me: I pretty much always keep the fortunes I get in fortune cookies, at least until something that fits the bill of what was predicted in the fortune occurs. Then, I figure it's safe to toss it. It's one of my weird superstitions. Well...Wednesday, Jaye and I went out for some Asian food at lunch, and this was my fortune:

And guess what BH got me for my birthday and gave me on Friday afternoon after I got home from my massage:

BAM!! Can I play it? No. Not really. But I figure, I've got a good ear for music (tone!) and I can type blindly like a mofo (motor skills!), so I can at least have fun with it, no? I am SO freakin' excited, people!! I predict YouTube stardom in a year's time.

Okay, back to the b-day timeline.

5:30 pm--Departure for Dah's house. The Geej was out there (they'd gone out there earlier in the day), and I went to join them for a "girl's night" sleepover. Dah made dinner. Geej acted sweet. I was in bed and asleep by 11:15pm.

11:00 am Saturday--Finally woke up. That's right, bitches. I got to sleep for nearly TWELVE HOURS!! Can you think of a better birthday present than that for me? Because I honestly cannot. Wow. Unbelievably awesome.

12:00pm--Lunch with Dah and The Geej. Then we went here to feed the ducks and fish.

Yes, that's a golf cart crossing the pond. Clearly, it was another gorgeous day.

1:30 pm--I left to go back to Austin. The Geej insisted on staying with Dah. BH and his youngest had gone camping. So I got home to...AN EMPTY, CLEAN, QUIET house. The birthday bliss continues!!

Afternoon--Did three loads of laundry and put it away. Cleaned up all of The Geej's clutter and got her room all organized and straightened up, which is truly saying something.

Evening--Went and got takeout for dinner. Played around on the keyboard. (I LOVE it!!) Watched "The Swell Season" on Austin City Limits. And am now looking forward to a brand new SNL in a little bit.

I know a lot of people choose to have a big blowout on their 40th. And for a while, I even considered it. But I'm SO happy with how gently and peacefully I've entered into this strange new decade of my life. If the past 48 hours have been any barometer of how my mood is going to be for the coming year, then things are going to smooth and happy.

But I STILL cannot believe I'm forty fucking years old. Holy cow.

Saying goodbye to 2008 from the relative sanity of my cube at work.

I'm not working. I'm eating lunch at my desk, and then I'm leaving to go--gasp--grocery shopping. Why the gasp? Because I was just down in the godforsaken store, and it is a freakin' MADHOUSE, people. But shopping must occur because I'm preparing a vegetarian stew for Miss Lindsay's New Year's Day soiree tomorrow and, well, we just need groceries.

Okay, so lots has happened since I last posted. Here's the update (stay with me):

Tuesday evening (12/23)
Started having very sharp chest pains unlike anything I'd ever experienced while shopping at Whole Foods. Figured they'd go away. They didn't. After over an hour of this mess, I called my insurance's "nurse line," and described my symptoms and my medical history, and they were like, "Get thee to the emergency room!" So my darling husband drove my reluctant and beligerent ass to the ER, during which time the chest pains stopped (natch). But we went in anyway and spent 4 hours having the whole work-up done--blood tests, chest X-ray, EKG, cat scan, etc. By the time we left (around 10:30 pm), we were starving and we had no clue what had caused the chest pains. And they haven't happened again since (thank goodness). I'm really looking forward to getting the bills for that little night of fun.

Wednesday (12/24)
Woke up and started prepping to cook The Monochromatic Feast. First I prepared a breakfast casserole to be baked on Christmas morning. Then I prepped the squash and corn casserole and au gratin potatoes with goat cheese and chives for that evening's dinner. My mom and The Geej arrived from Horseshoe Bay, and I thought The Geej's eye's were going to bug out of her head when she saw all the new presents wrapped and placed under the tree since the last time she'd seen it. She was one excited little girl. Mom brought the smoked turkey breast and dressing, and we rounded out our dinner with a mixed green salad with bleu cheese, walnuts and pears. Needless to say, we were all STUFFED when dinner was over. We somehow convinced The Geej that she needed to go to sleep so that Santa could come and do his thing, and then we followed pretty soon after.


Thursday, 12/25
The Geej woke up at the crack of dawn to see her loot from the fat man. She was very happy with everything she got, especially the new baby stroller to replace her old one that she'd literally worn out. I got BH a set of rowing lessons and a one-month membership to The Rowing Dock, and he got me a gift certificate for not one, but THREE massages. We also got each other garden gnomes--Matthew and Norm--but that's a whole 'nother story. Christmas evening, we went over to La Turista's to visit with her family and chow down on tamales.


Friday, 12/26
BH fetched his boys, and we had a second round of present-opening. They each wanted--and received--kick-ass new skateboards, and the weather was great outside, so there was much skateboarding in the afternoon. BH also gave the family a 40-lb. punching bag and a bunch of boxing gloves so we can punch and hit and kick to our hearts' content. Dah went back to HSB.



Saturday, 12/27 thru Monday, 12/29
Hung out. Ate. Cooked. Napped. Played with the kids. Hung out some more. Played with the kittens. Tried to keep The Geej and BH's youngest from bugging each other to death. Had dinner with BH's mom and step-dad who were visiting. Had another round of present opening during which The Geej received this ensemble:
On Monday, I went back to work.


Tuesday, 12/30
Worked, and then went to happy hour with four of my favorite gals at the recently remodeled and reopened Paggi House. It was AWESOME. We sat outside (yes, it was nice enough to sit outside), drank wine, ate cheese and crackers, talked, and laughed laughed laughed.

Which brings us to today. As I said, I've got to go grocery shop, then I will fill up my car, go fetch The Geej (she's been at my mom's since Sunday b/c school's closed), return home and cook, clean, and (hopefully) take down that dadgum Christmas tree/kitten magnet.

So goodbye, and good riddance 2008. During this past year I landed a new husband and two step-sons, got a new car, and voted in a new president. I watched my 401(k) and Roth IRAs dwindle and the price of gas soar and plunge. I joined Facebook and didn't blog as much as I should've. I had to put the best cat of all time to sleep because he had an advanced, incurable disease, and I welcomed two new, absolutely insane kittens into our family. I watched my daughter complete her transformation from toddler to little girl. I spent my last year in my thirties. I faced very difficult and trying times at work and passed my 9 year anniversary there as well. And I celebrated my 4 year blogiversary.

Thanks for coming by and reading about my silly life. Hope to see you again in '09.

Thanks!!

Hey y'all! You gave me some good advice for the whole gift pickle I was in with the boys. I ended up getting F (the younger one) some drawing supplies (he's an excellent artist), a book on cartooning, some magic trick things, and a gift certificate to the Vans store so he can get some new skateboarding shoes (his are currently held together with duct tape).

For J, the older one, I got a Vans gift certificate as well, and that's it. I feel terrible, but I'd rather NOT get him something than get him something he hates. Maybe I'll give him some cash too. Lame? Yes. But what 14 year old doesn't like moolah, right?

I swore I wasn't going to get my babydoll junkie any more babydolls, but then this walked into my cube at work today:

Her name is Jayden, and she's one of The EarthFriends. Her skin is made of hemp, and her stuffing is made out of recycled plastic bottles. Plus, she's radically unlike any of The Geej's current stable of babies. How could I say no?! And best of all? She's like a $90 doll for FREAKIN' FREE!! Thank you, Santa Claus!!

So now I'm about to pack up, head to Whole Foods to brave the crowds and do my shopping for tomorrow, then head home. Once home I have a list of things to do that's 5 miles long, and most of it involves cleaning, tidying, and then cleaning some more.

Tomorrow, I'm working 1/2 day (from home, thank goodness) then cooking up a storm. My mom's providing the smoked toikey and dressing (her's is--bar none--my favorite), and I'm doing everything else, including creating a breakfast casserole for the following morning. Tomorrow afternoon, the Geej and Dah arrive. I miss that little monkey!! I bet she's going to be wound up like a top since it will be Christmas eve. Luckily, we've got plenty of egg nog and wine (for the grown-ups, natch).

If I don't get a chance to blog again before Santa's arrival, I hope you ALL have a very safe and stress-free holiday--especially those of you who are travelling to be with friends and family.

Thanksgiving: Over Next Up: Christmas

I have a Thanksgiving post, but it requires photos, and they haven't been downloaded yet yadda yadda. So I'm doing a reverse fakeout with y'all, and doing a Christmas post instead.

ZING!

I guess it's only fitting since the Christmas tree is now up and decorated (as of about 5:30 this afternoon), and at least ONE of us in this house (the little one, natch) is suuuuuuuuuper excited about the whole shebang.

In fact, we sat down and wrote her letter to Santa tonight. I begged her to let me type it since I type about a jillion times faster than I write longhand, and here, my friends, is the stream-of-consciousness results.

Enjoy:

11.30.08

Santa Claus
North Pole

Dear Santa,

I act(ed) nice at Gramps’s house (Gramps is BH's dad, and who we stayed with for Thanksgiving--ed.), and I wanted to say that when I was a baby did you know that I did not suck on a dah-dah (a.k.a., “pacifier”--ed.)?

Dear Santa, I have a real computer like my mom but ‘cept it makes noise. I have a picture of you Santa Claus. And when you come, we have everything set. You’ll love it. I have a snow globe and it sparkles so much. I really love you Santa Claus, and I’m sorry I didn’t come have a picture with you, but I was three years old and I didn’t know what was happening like my X-ray when I got walking pneumonia (apparently that X-ray was more traumatic than I thought--ed.).

I want a little teddy bear, Santa Claus. And even though I have a little reindeer thing with Santa (you) and a present, I want another one please. And I want some princess dress up clothes and pretend lipstick. And Santa, some sparkly pink and blue shoes for Austin, Texas and Horseshoe Bay where my Dah (“grandmother”—ed.) lives, and I want some fancy green some and I want some purple shoes (sparkly), and I want writing with little people walking in the fancy shoes, Santa (I have no clue, Santa—ed.).

I really like to draw pictures. I want five clean pages and pictures in a little tiny book.

Santa, I want one more little tiny baby, but it’s going to go to Horseshoe Bay, not Austin, please, because I just want to have another baby so I can have a big circle at Dah’s house. I want a pretend telephone that doesn’t make any noise.

I want you to bring my Dah a little purple necklace with purple shoes. Do not tell her. And we are going to give this picture (what I’m holding in my hand) to her (It’s a picture of you, Santa—ed.). Do NOT tell her, Santa Claus.

BH would like some sandpaper, please.

Mommy would like two real live kittens please Santa Claus, and we need some little papers for my mom so that she can draw things at work.

Thank you and I love you,

The Geej

In honor of the independence of our nation...

...here's some video of the Hill Country Plungettes doing what it is they do in the parade this morning in Lago Vista.



Dah did a nice job. Here she is in all of her Plungette glory (from another parade):

And finally, her granddaughter, The Geej going nuts in Dah's Plungette's hat.


Party, party, party indeed.

Happy 4th of July, y'all.

Las Vegas: The Recap

Day 1, Tuesday

It was 105 degrees when we arrived, with a very hot wind blowing. Got checked in to the hotel (Bally's) and walked over to Paris for lunch. After that, we wandered across the street to the Bellagio to check it out and do a little gambling. Mom won nearly $200 at a nickel slot machine. I didn't win jack squat. Went back to the hotel to get ready for our 6:30 dinner reservations. Met my friend Lisa at Todd English's "Olives" at the Bellagio. Got a seat close to the windows over looking the Bellagio lake. Had a couple of cocktails. AMAZING food. Great service. Mom went back to the hotel after dinner. Lisa and I wandered over to Ceasar's to gamble. We parked our butts in front of a couple of blackjack machines and ordered a couple of cocktails. Lisa was doing math and really paying attention to what she played. I was just punching buttons. I ended up winning about $80. I don't know if Lisa won anything. Went back to the hotel, took a shower to wash all the cigarette stink off of me (you forget how annoying that shit is when you live in a pretty smoke free environment most of the time), and went to bed.

Day 2 (Wendesday...or Dia de la Diva!)

Woke up fairly early because both mom and I had booked spa appointments at The Spa at Bally's. Her: Classic facial and 1 hr. Swedish massage. Me: Express facial and 1 hr. Therapeutic massage. The spa was pretty nice, and I enjoyed my facial (although I hate it when the aesthetician wears latex gloves...it feels icky and smells funny). However, the massage? Worst. Massage. EVER. I swear, this lady just gave me a glorified back rub. I bet you she didn't even have a license to practice massage--THAT'S how bad it was. And I'm such a weenie, all I did was fill out a comment card to complain. I should've asked for my money back. For reals.

After that, mom went and bought this because she felt like her hair looked bad, and that a cool "Las Vegas" visor would do the trick on making it look better. I will NEVER understand that woman's relationship with her hair. Never. Then we walked our hungry asses down to the Wynn to check it out and eat at Red 8. Luckily, it was much cooler on Wednesday than it had been on Tuesday. Cooler and very sunny. Two observations: A city block on a map looks waaaaaaaaaay shorter in length than it actually is when you walk it. And seriously? The amount of old geezers clogging the sidewalks on rentable Rascals is sort of mind-blowing. Anyway, we finally made it down to The Wynn (gorgeous, by the way) and to the restaurant. But I gotta say, I was really underwhelmed by both the food and the service. ESPECIALLY given the price tag. Gambled some at the Wynn (lost!), and then made our way over to the Forum Shops at Ceasar's Palace where we did a lot of window shopping and only bought one thing...for the Geej (natch)...at FAO Shwartz. And y'all? There was an entire FLOOR of that store devoted to babydolls and babydoll accessories. The Geej would have lost her everlovin' mind!!On the way out of Ceaser's, back to our hotel, we stopped at Spago and made reservations for dinner and stopped by the "Will Call" desk and picked up these:

Awwww yeah.

The show was supposed to start at 7:30, but the dude at the ticket desk said, "You need to be here by 7:00pm." By the time we got gussied up and got back over there (at 7 sharp) there were already 4 LONG lines coming out of each one of the auditorium entrance doors. And this guy was next to us, and his ass was seriously fantastic:

God bless drag queens!

Once inside, I was SUPER happy with how awesome our seats were: orchestra level, stage left. We were about 12 rows back from the edge of the stage. The audience was a mixed bag: Women and men my mom's age (and Cher's age), some people my age (primarily coupled gay men), and a few random "what the Hell are these tow hefty fanny-pack wearing farmers from Iowa doing here" types. It was packed.

To start the show, Cher--in true diva fashion--descended from the rafters in a golden chariot looking contraption wearing a truly undescribable golden glittery ensemble, complete with insane head dress while singing U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." And it only got more outrageous from there. I managed to sneak my camera in, but was too scared to whoop it out and start shooting since we were so close to the stage. So, I suck. But Cher didn't. She was funny, her voice was in fine shape, and girlfriend DELIVERED on the glitz and "Vegas" factor when it came to the costume changes. It was seriously hilarious. The dancers/aerialists were very good, but they were really only there to distract you for a few minutes while Ms. Thang got in to her next fabulous get-up. And when she came out in a tastefully updated version of the "If I Could Turn Back Time" outfit, the audience--including my mom--went wild.

After the show, we went for a late (and yummy/extravagant) dinner at Spago where we got to watch a transvestite hooker dine with a Russian mafia type--complete with frosted mullet, acid washed jeans and chunky gold jewelry AND a dude pop the question to his lady with a box from Tiffany and she didn't say yes, instead she kept him on his knee squirming for a loooooong time and then finally took the ring and placed it on her right hand. They spent the rest of the meal in a very serious and uncomfortable looking discussion.

Went back to the room and crashed.

Day Three, Thursday

Tried to sleep a little late, but was woken up at 7:20am by a work-related text message on my cellphone. I texted back, "I'm on VACATION! Can this wait until Monday? If not, please as [my boss]." I get no respect, people.

Ate breakfast, checked out, and headed to the airport.

We were scheduled on one of those Southwest flights that's kind of like a bus because it makes so many stops (this one was Denver-Dallas-Austin), and it got delayed because of storms (that turned out to be deadly tornadoes) in the Denver area. Finally, they moved all the passengers that were going to Austin on to a flight that was going to El Paso-Austin, but that left a couple of hours later. No big whoop, really, other than the fact that we got back around 10pm rather than 7:45pm as originally planned.

The good news is that mom and I got along famously and that, although I certainly didn't win, I really didn't lose my ass gambling. I was also smart enough to plan on taking the next day--a Friday--off to recuperate, run errands, and generally catch my breath before the weekend.

Believe

I'll be absent for a few days while I do Vegas with mom in tow. But I'm sure I'll have LOTS to share when I return. In the meantime...

Enjoy:

Bullet-Point-A-Go-Go

• Sorry I haven't posted since Wednesday.
• Pretty typical goings on around here, really.
• Except for the crazy storm on Wednesday night.
• But other people have posted about that.
• All in all, things are looking green and vibrant, which is nice because--at least thus far--we've gotten plenty of rain.
• BH and I have been on a planting/yard-improvement kick.
• Not only have we planted two different kinds of peppers, tomatoes, garlic, rosemary and orange-mint, we've also planted plumbago, hisbiscus, and created an entirely new flower bed in the front yard that we're planting with native decorative grasses and drought-resistant native flowering plants. Very exciting.
• We've also been working HARD to rid our weed-infested front yard of clover and stickers without using chemical weed-killers. But it's a labor-intensive, tedious process. And I SWEAR I've personally pulled 7,000 weeds (which is half of what BH has pulled), and it looks like we've barely made a dent.
• I got my third quarter bonus on Friday and I'm spending it on...GUTTERS!! For the back of the house!! How utterly domestic and boring!!
• I'm also going to spend some of it gambling, getting spa treatments, and eating great food in Vegas, because I'm going there with Dah on Tuesday.
• She hasn't been in 25 years, so I bought us 4th row tickets to see Cher at Ceasar's. It was her Mother's Day gift. Yes, I'm awesome.
• I need this break from work because it's just nucking futs right now.
• La Turista is going to help take care of the Geej while I'm gone, and The Geej is beside herself excited.
• I got some new contacts this week and OMFG, y'all. They're a completely new type than I've ever been able to wear (because of the level of my damn blindness), and they let in like 500% more air, so my eyes don't get dried out all the time. It has made the biggest difference.
• This is great timing too because my eyes always get so dried out when I'm in Las Vegas.
• That, and I'm thirsty like a fiend all the time.
• Damn desert.
• I've been on a big salad making kick, since the weather has turned so warm. This past week or so I've made a spinach/gorgonzola/walnut/pear salad, a couscous salad, and a white bean salad that is one of my favorites. I love making The Big Salad and then eating on it for a couple of days.
• Washed my car for the first time yesterday, then it got rained on. Of course.
• Also stuck my first bumper sticker on to her: "Don't Mess With Texas." I can't stand litterers, as you know.
• The Geej has grown 4 inches since this time last May. And her feet? Growing about a size a month.
• Speaking of The Geej, here she is enjoying the weather--and the sprinklers--today:

• She is a nut.

Texas, Our Texas...all Hail the Mighty State.

The Texas Independence Day parade happens in downtown Austin this Saturday morning around 10 a.m.

The Geej and I will be in attendance because freakin' Dah will be marching with the damn Plungettes.

Oh my effing God, people!! I think I may die.

Perhaps I should wear this to the parade, just to balance things out: