My Little Citizen

When I had the fall parent/teacher conference with GJ's teacher (who I really like now, by the way), she told me that they're learning about communities and cities and government--just the basic stuff. But how they're doing it is she had the class found their city by naming it and drawing up a city charter that they all signed. This city, named M&M City (how 'bout that product placement, Mars, Inc.?!), was founded to be a place that's "fun for kids with lots of playgrounds and free candy and swimming pools." Now, for the past week, the teacher has been explaining what the different positions in city government are and encouraging the kids to run for office if any of the positions interest them and if they think they've got what it takes to be the Mayor, Mayor Pro Tem, judge, etc. of M&M City. So The Geej decided she wanted to be on the City Council. She had to write a speech and then give her speech before the electorate, and she also had to make a campaign sign. Elections are today. I'll let you know how it goes.

Her campaign sign: It's in the shape of a t-shirt and mounted on a drinking straw:

The speech reads: I want to be a council member because I like to help kids and I like to solve problems if people need help. I really like working with people and that's what council members do. I hope you vote for me. Thank you very much.

Cautiously Optimistic

The principal at GJ's school sent me back a very thoughtful email. She offered some really valuable perspective and had some good suggestions, including letting GJ talk with the school counselor so that she knows she's being heard--by a grown up--at school.

GJ's report from her day yesterday was somewhat better, and some of her spunk has returned. She tackled her homework with gusto and even told me some HAPPY stories of things that happened in class that included MS. SECOND GRADE TEACHER.

So I'm going to stay on top of it, but for now things seem to be heading in the right direction.

Thanks to those of you who commented and offered advice. You know who you are...

The Mama Bear Begins to Growl

First up, thanks for your comments and concern. I just sent this message to GJ's principal (identifiers redacted). We'll see what comes of it:

Hello Ms. PRINCIPAL,

First off, congrats on ELEMENTARY SCHOOL's recent "Exemplary" rating. I know how hard all of the teachers and students worked to acheive this recognition.

Second, I wanted to let you know about some concerns I have about my daughter GJ's current classroom situation.

GJ has always loved going to school. She's never been one to protest getting up and heading to class. She's been blessed with caring and skilled teachers all the way from her pre-K and kindergarten experiences (at a private Montessori school) through her first year at YOUR SCHOOL in Ms. 1ST GRADE TEACHER's class. She handled last year's transition from the Montessori environment to public school quite well and was very excited to start 2nd grade.

The open house visit with Ms. 2ND GRADE TEACHER went well. She was warm and friendly and her classroom seemed bright and organized. The whole time we were there, former students were stopping by to say hi and get a hug. I was very pleased to see this and had high hopes. However, when GJ got home from her first day of school, she said she'd felt "rushed" and that Ms. 2ND GRADE TEACHER "yelled at them a lot." As I probed a bit deeper to figure out what exactly she was talking about, she said that Ms. 2ND GRADE TEACHER didn't give her "time to think" and that all of the yelling was about "Do this! Finish this up!" and that it "gave her a headache." I explained to her that different teachers have different styles and that Mrs. 2ND GRADE TEACHER's style may just take some getting used to and that, especially at the beginning of a new school year, it's important that the teacher establish their classroom schedule and routine, which may be why she's feeling rushed. She seemed to understand, but the evening ended with her having a bedtime meltdown--an extremely rare occurrence at our house. She was very upset--crying and saying she didn't want to get yelled at. And, for the first time ever, she expressed fear and anxiety about going to school.

I worried that yesterday morning would be a battle, but it wasn't. She went to school without protest, but all of the enthusiasm that had been there on the first day of school had disappeared. Yesterday evening, she said that Ms. 2ND GRADE TEACHER yelled at the class again and that, at one point, she'd walked by GJ's desk while she was working, accidentally hitting her in the back of the head and then not saying she was sorry, even though she knew she'd done it.

I am not an alarmist parent. Like most 7 year old girls, GJ can be a bit dramatic, but she's not a liar. I am very worried about how this school year--with this teacher--has started out. It's one thing if a teacher has a loud voice and is boisterous--it's another thing if s/he actually yells at the students. Yelling is simply unacceptable in a second grade learning environment. Seeing GJ's excitement about second grade so quickly extinguished by her classroom environment is very upsetting to me.

I know Mrs. 2ND GRADE TEACHER is a veteran teacher at ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. Have other parents ever expressed worry about Mrs. 2ND GRADE TEACHER's approach before? If so, what were the repercussions? Do you have any advice for me and for GJ in this situation? Do you think you and I should meet--either with Mrs. 2ND GRADE TEACHER or one-on-one?

I appreciate your quick response to this email.

If you'd care to call me, my work number is XXX-XXXX and my cell phone is XXX-XXXX.

Thank you,
Pine Curtain Refugee

And Then Everything Turned Itself Inside Out

I never struggled academically in school. I got--and enjoyed--everything that was thrown at me. I thrived. That is, until 9th grade algebra. Something about the theoretical nature of it all--it's utter abstractness--didn't click in my brain. Plus, it just seemed so fucking pointless to me. Who GAVE a shit if X equaled Y? My teacher that year didn't really care about teaching so much as she cared about covering the "essential elements"--a new set of standards required by The State and repeated like a zombie mantra by teachers who were scared shitless of being judged against these new, arbitrary requirements. Their anxiety made its way into their teaching styles. And if they were already uninspiring teachers, they became even worse under the heightened paranoia that the Essential Elements brought with them as their presence became a part of our daily vernacular.

For the first time in my life, I was the slow one in class--the one who asked too many questions and held everybody else up. I became the one who needed extra attention and time--something the Essential Elements curriculum discouraged. I became the one who cried at night while trying to do my homework and had to try ten times harder than I'd ever done in my life just to squeak by with a B minus. I became the one that became not only fearful of math, but also quickly grew to HATE math. I hated how stupid it made me feel, and I had no interest--zero--in advancing in the subject. To this day, I am known as a dumbo when it comes to math. I laugh about it, but the memory of that horrible feeling of being left behind because of (what I perceived at the time as) my own denseness still stings.

Fast forward to the present day. GJ is so gifted in so many ways. She is kind, makes friends easily, and loves learning new things. I have been enormously blessed with how she's handled SO many things that other children and their parents struggle with. Bed time has almost always been easy. She's not overly picky with food. She has never been shy around new people or situations. Even with her transitions from her baby/toddler school to Montessori to public school, she'd handled everything with bravery and grace.

Until today.

The concept of second grade has been one she's been thrilled about since the last day of first grade--getting to be the bigger kid...knowing the ropes. Last week, we read the posted class list and looked up her new teacher in the yearbook, and GJ seemed excited about who she'd gotten. "I remember her!! I smiled at her a lot on the playground! She likes me!"

Open house last Friday seemed good as well. The teacher was warm and friendly to me--more so than I'd felt the first grade teacher had been upon our first meeting. Her classroom seemed bright and well-organized. Former students stopped by to say hello and grab a hug. Very promising.

Today when I took GJ to school and walked her to class, the excitement was still there. Second grade! Yay!! But then when I picked her up this afternoon, there'd been a change in her demeanor. I was all amped up, wanting to hear how great it had been to see her old friends and get acquainted with her new second grade life. But when I asked her how it had been, and she said quietly, "I felt really rushed, Mommy," it was as if someone had kicked me square in the the guts.

I tried to do all of those things and say all of the stuff you're supposed to say when your child is discouraged. She seemed helped by my seemingly wise counsel, and we went about our night.

At bedtime, we read together, and then it was time for lights out. We said our goodnights, and I went to my room to read. Then softly, from the other side of the house, I heard faint whimpers that quickly turned into epic sobs. When I went to check on her, she was crying so hard she couldn't catch her breath to tell me what was wrong. But I already knew.

When she was finally able to speak between sobs, the words, "I feel so RUSHED. I don't have time to THINK, Mommy," is what I heard. The tone of her voice dripped with stress and worry. "My teacher yells if we're not on time with everybody else." Granted, GJ has a flair for the dramatic, but there was nothing about what she was saying that felt put on or exaggerated. My heart felt like it was in a vice grip, and I wanted to punch something.

I pulled her into my lap and rocked her and told her that all teachers have different styles and that her new teacher might just take some getting used to. My logical brain believes this 100%, but my gut tells me it's bullshit. I advised her to give it a day or two--to be open to her new teacher and all of the change that a new school year brings--and that if she STILL feels this way at the end of the week, I'll schedule some time to speak with her teacher.

The last thing I want this bright, eager young child to feel is discouraged and left behind--not ever, but ESPECIALLY not in second freaking grade. I don't want her to be me in algebra. But maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm projecting my own bullshit on to her unique situation.

By Friday, I should know...right?

Pajamas are NOT the new black, damnit!!

DISCLAIMER: I am by NO means a perfect mother. I do not believe there is such a thing. I am, however, a mother who tries to give my kids what they need from me. Am I always successful? No. Do I keep trying? Yes.

Ever since The Geej started first grade at her new school, one of the things that has fascinated me is checking out the other parents. Are they younger than me? Older? What kind of jobs does it look like they have? White collar? Blue collar? Stay-at-home parent? How many kids do they have? Does the mother usually bring the child to school, or the father? What do they drive? Do they speak English? Etc. I do this not in a judgemental way, but more of a where-do-I-fit-in-to-this-spectrum kind of a way because this whole AISD public school thing is still new to me.

From my casually interested observations, I have surmised that, as I suspected, our elementary school is a mixed bag. It's about 45% Hispanic, 35% Caucasian, and 20% African American. The socio-economic norm is solidly middle class, with about 10% falling below that classification and another 10% falling slightly above it. The parents are mostly younger than me: in their late 20s to late 30s, and it is the overwhelmingly the moms who bring their children to school.

But no matter what our demographics, we all have to get our progeny to school before the dreaded "second bell" that rings at 7:40am or else they will be counted--GASP--tardy. It is preferable to have them in the cafetorium (GOD, I love that word) for morning assembly at least a bit ahead of that time however, so I always shoot for us to arrive between 7:30 and 7:35am. 90% of the time, I park, get out, and walk The Geej in. This is our preferred method of arriving at school. There are some mornings though when dropping her at the sidewalk (next to the 5th grader "Safety Patrol" kids who open car doors and sort of help direct traffic) is what makes more sense, either because we've caught more red lights than ususal on the way to school or because she's asked to ride to school with the convertible's top down.

Now, let me admit that this whole getting-to-school-at-the-asscrack-of-dawn thing was one of my BIGGEST concerns with the Geej's starting first grade. Why? Well, anyone who knows me knows that I am not (nor have I ever remotely been) a morning person. At all. Never ever. I mean, getting us to school by 8:50am used to be a big challenge for me while she was at Montessori, so you can understand why the mere idea of having to be at school well before the 7:40am tardy bell sort of freaked me out. Amazingly, it has been a rather pain-free adjustment, and no one is more surprised than me. I'm not going to lie and say I wouldn't LOVE to have at least 3 more hours of sleep every morning, because I sure as Hell would. But--aside from a few very close calls--we've not been tardy this school year. Not even once. And the added bonus for me is that a) I usually beat the worst of the rush hour traffic on my way to work, b) I always find a parking place in our crowded parking garage, and c) I've got about an hour of pure silence at work before all of the stragglers start showing up around 9:00am. So, yay!! Adjustment made. Life is good.

Which may begin to explain why the following drives me so damn crazy:

There is this woman--she appears to be in her early- to mid-thirties--who is the (I think, single) mother of a young girl at The Geej's school. This little girl is probably in kindergarten, first grade at the most. They literally live across the street from the school. Their front door is probably 50 yards from the door to the goddamned cafetorium, and yet... And yet this mother is always trudging across the street well after the tardy bell, dragging her daughter behind her, frustrated and saying, "Hurry! We're late!".

This mother wears pajamas and house shoes to walk her daughter in to the school. This mother does not wear a bra. This mother has substantial tah-tahs that could REALLY use a bra. And whenever I see this, it PISSES ME OFF in a highly irrational way.

Maybe (and probably) some of the being chronically late is the daughter's fault. She's hard to wake up. Or she screws around and plays with her Lucky Charms instead of eathing them. She is, after all, only five or six years old. But as her mother, this woman KNOWS that each morning will present these issues, but she still can't be bothered to get up, I don't know, maybe 15 or 20 minutes earlier than she currently does in order to create some "contingency time" and perhaps even put on some actual clothes and some appropriate undergarments and get her daughter to school on time?! You know, act like she actually gives a shit and try to set some sort of an example for her daughter instead of utterly phoning it in and doing what appears to be the bare minimum? (After all, her "commute" to school takes all of 3 minutes--and that's including hugging and kissing good-bye time.)

I'm telling you, this bothers me waaaaaaaaaaaay more than it should. Feel free to bash me for being a self-righteous twat, but I can't help but think that if I, the most non-morning person/sleep-loving individual you will ever meet in your entire lifetime can manage to consistently squeak in before the tardy bell (all while wearing Actual Clothes), really, anyone can.

The After-School Care Conundrum

Any of you readers without school-age children may want to go ahead and close your browser, because I assure you, this post will bore you to tears.

When we decided to move The Geej to public school for the first grade, the spectre of what to do with the vexing hours between roughly 2:30 and 5:30 loomed large. The school offers several after-school program options--one, on campus put on by the YMCA, and the others, off campus at other facilities. So of course, I have drug my heels in touring these facilities and making a decision until today.

Option #1
Looked good on the outside and from the website, but almost as soon as I entered the front doors, I wanted to bolt. It was unorganized, appeared to be understaffed (and the staff that were there were just sort of standing around watching the kids, not engaging at all), and OMG it was utter fucking chaos. My tour guide didn't know the answers to half of the questions I was asking, and the whole place just reminded me of "Lord of the Flies". There were about 100 kiddos just going nuts all over the place. Seriously. I kept looking for the kid holding the conch. When I finally got the helloutta there, I had a horrible sick feeling, like I'd been kicked in the gut. I was terrified that the next tour would yield the same results, and then we'd be screwed.

Option #2
Also looked good on the outside and from the website. And when I walked in, it was totally serene. Hell, they even had classical music playing. During the tour, the director answered all of my questions and even asked me some! About my child!! Their after-school program is about 1/4 the size of the program at Option #1, which was way, WAY too big, in my opinion. And they offer an orientation and tour and bus pick-up run through for the new kiddos (none of which were offered by Option #1). So yeah... I'm going to be taking The Geej by there next week to check it out and see what she thinks, but I'm feeling pretty good about Option #2. I mean, as good as you CAN feel about other people having to take care of your kids while you earn a living. Sigh.

BTW, I attended an after-school program that I dearly loved when I was The Geej's age. And then I became a latch-key kid, which is fodder for a whole 'nother post.

Summertime Rolls...

How in the hell are we more than 1/2 way through with July, people?! That means that 2010 is 1/2 way over and that I'm (almost) 41 and 1/2. 'Tis crazy indeed.

Had a great time in Florida. Wonderful weather, good friends, and lots of laughs. I even got some color on my so-white-it's-practically-translucent skin. In fact, my right armpit is peeling as we speak--sexxxy. The thing with those long weekend type of vacations is that just when you finally start to get really relaxed, it's time to go home. See this picture?

THAT is relaxed. I was the only one in Lane's fabulous pool, and I felt like I was being gently held up by some invisible hand. Ahhh...

And when I say "fabulous pool", I really mean it. LOOK at this thing!

Not shabby in the least.

My biggest news from my trip is that I got my nose pierced. I'd been thinking about doing it since I was in my 30s, but it never seemed to be the right time. However, July 17th in Ft. Myers seemed like the perfect time, so I went and got it done in between attending an opening at an art gallery and dinner. No big whoop. I didn't even flinch.

I like the way it looks, and so far, so good with the healing.

Unfortunately, I don't have enough time off in my "bank" to do the smart thing and take the day AFTER I get back from a trip off too--you know, to recuperate, do laundry, grocery shop, pay bills, etc. So after arriving in Austin at 7:45pm on Sunday evening--BOOM--I was back at work bright and early Monday morning. No, I wasn't very productive that day.

Now the big focus is The Geej. She has only two more days at her school, which is something I'm having a very hard time fathoming. Then she goes to spend most of next week with Dah. At the end of the week (on 7/30), the little turkey turns SIX, and on that Saturday, The Big Waterslide Birthday Extravaganza at our house. Good LORD, what was I thinking. Next week I will be running around like a crazy person preparing for the party and, at some point, visiting potential after-school care options because first grade starts a month from this Friday. A MONTH FROM THIS FRIDAY!!!!

August is usually my least favorite month of the year, but I'm actually looking forward to it for maybe the first time ever. Why? Well, there's going to be lots of great stuff going on. Going to Stubb's to see Crowded House. (I love Neil Finn with the fiery passion of 10,000 suns, so to say I'm excited is an understatement.) The Geej in two week-long back-to-back theatre/performance camps that each culminate with, well, a performance! The trip with The Geej and Dah to San Diego (which is still a surprise, btw. I can't WAIT to tell her!). Then the beginning of first grade, followed by (most likely) a work trip to NYC. Crazy, no?

Yes, the summertime is rolling on by, and I'm trying my best to roll with it. 

Good tidings.

Oh Internets, today is a good day.

The supercalafragalistic weather continues. Chamber of commerce weather. Sit out on a patio catching rays and a sweet buzz weather. SXSWeather.

I got to attend (the first part, at least) The Geej's "100 Day Party" at her school this morning. Man, I love the kids in her class. So creative and hilarious. They've been doing these posterboards where they ask the students things like, "If I could have 100 of anything, what would it be?" and then record each of the kiddo's answers. (GJ's answer to this question: "sparkly shoes," natch.) I noticed another 100-related posterboard today that asked, "If you traveled for 100 miles from Austin, where would you be?" GJ answered, "Alaska", and her classmates said things like "Dallas," "Asia," "Mexico," and (oddly enough) "Kansas." But my two favorites? "A cake store" and "Pixie Hollow". Oh to be 5 again...

After the party, I went to the doctor and got my stiches removed. I still have steristrips on the incision, but I got to see it before he put them on. It doesn't look too bad, aside from some residual bruising (now in the yellowish-green stage, always lovely), and after these strips fall off (some time this weekend), I can start putting on the scar gell stuff to minimize what this sucker looks like. I'll post pics later because, be honest, you wanna see, don't you?

At the doctor's office, I got the final pathology report on the thyroid and lymph node that were removed, and I could bore you with the medical mumbo jumbo, but long and short of it is the "pathological staging" of the tumors were T3, NX, MX. This means, "the tumor is either larger than 4 cm or it has begun to grow a small amount into nearby tissues outside the thyroid" (T3) however it had not spread to nearby lymph nodes (NX) and there were no signs of distance metastasis/spread (MX). In other words, I'm a lucky, lucky gal.

Next week, I have my first appointment with an endorinologist to figure out what's next. But right now, I'm feeling pretty happy about how everything has gone.

After the doctor's appointment, I treated myself to lunch at Torchy's along with a Dublin Dr. Pepper. Oh yes I did.

Then I went to my "Plan B" school for a tour with the principal. I'm not gonna lie: I was prepared to be disappointed. I'm not sure why--I guess it's just because I'd had my heart so set on The Geej going to my "Plan A" choice school, and when I got the news that wasn't going to be happening, my heart just sort of sunk through the floor. But, oh my GOSH, y'all! This school? I really, REALLY liked it. The principal was awesome, took her time with me, answered all my questions (and answered them well), led me on a very thorough tour, and I saw a lot of happy, productive kiddos being well attended to by engaged teachers. I can picture The Geej thriving here and her wonderful spirit being appreciated and encouraged. I called the AISD offices as soon as I got back and requested a transfer change to this school, and I'm certain it will be approved. And she can be happy there until 5th grade or until we move into a different school zone--whichever comes first.

Everything's going to be okay, y'all. It really is.

AISDamageddon.

Photos from the end of the world/the AISD HQ parking garage last night.

People brought cots and tents. People got cozy.

I managed to stay pretty warm, and eventually slept for a couple of hours in my sleeping bag on the ground.

There were some pretty epic snorers. There were people there with their kids. One (single) mom was there with her 4 kids, including a toddler and a baby.

And there were people who talked. All. Night.

My line neighbors were nice/non-annoying people.

And after 14 hours of waiting, when they finally opened up the doors and started taking the forms, the whole "transaction" took a grand total of 15 seconds. I ended up being the 75th form they took. There were 11 people in front of me going for the same elementary school I want The Geej in, but I'm hoping and praying they were all going for the kindergarten slots. I won't know anything about whether or not the transfer was accepted until late March at the earliest. In th meantime, we'll try and come up with a Plan B.

I've got some thoughts on how they could make this process better, and I'll be sending those to the AISD school board, because this process? Sucks.

My funny kid

It's been raining here. A lot. Which is a good thing because our lakes, rivers, and aquifers badly need this rain. However, when you're five, this much rain over this many days kind of sucks.

One upside? Movies at school. At least during after care. Yesterday when I picked up The Geej, they'd just finished watching "101 Dalmations". She'd never seen it and assumed I hadn't either, so on the way home, she gave me the scene-by-scene breakdown of the movie, all from The Geej perspective, naturally.

When she was finally done, I said to her, "Wow! You really paid attention to that movie." To which she responded: "I had a staring contest with it. And I won."

That kid, she keeeeeeels me!

Which brings me to the next part of my post--The Great AISD School Transfer Campout, 2010!

Remember how when you were little, you just went to either this school or that one, and either way, everything was groovy. Well, that's not the case in the good ol' Austin Independent School District. Some schools are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better off in terms of facilities, staff, programs, academics, etc. than others. And, until recently, our address tracked to an elementary school that, while not the very best one in the city, was pretty darn good. But The Powers that Be recently changed the school boundaries, and our little neighborhood got carved out and re-tracked to an elementary school that is--at least on paper--pretty crummy.

So, what's a mommy to do, right?

Well, you put in for a transfer to another school. One that has the things you want for your child. One where you'll feel comfortable with her spending the bulk of her waking time during the week. One where she'll learn and flourish and be happy. Sounds easy enough, right?

Wrong.

First you figure out what schools fit that bill that a) aren't already closed to transfers due to overcrowding, b) aren't 20 miles out of the way of either work or home. Then you schedule tours of those schools to see if you can visualize your little angel in those hallways, those classrooms. Then you agonize over which one is more likely to have a spot for her in their first grade class(es). Then you fill out a transfer form for that school (and only that school, because there isn't a way to put an alternate selection on the form; Once you fill this sucker out, you're all freakin' in).

And then the fun REALLY starts!

The AISD Admin offices begin accepting transfer forms at 7am on Saturday, February 6th. The transfer forms, and therefore your chance for consideration, are accepted in the order received. So you, and all of the other freaked out parents who have gone through all of the steps listed above start congregating on the afternoon/evening of Friday, February 5th on the sidewalk outside of the AISD offices. You bring your camp chair, a blanket, something to snack on and drink. A book. A flashlight. Your cellphone. Maybe your laptop. Your iPod. Anything you might need to help pass the hours ahead of you as you camp out on the sidewalk to assure your place in line and, therefore, hopefully end up on the top of the stack of transfers into your school of choice.

At 7am, they open the doors to the office, and you file in. You hand the AISD employee your completed form. They time stamp it, and you leave. Then, sometime in March, you'll be notified whether or not your transfer request has been granted.

In the meantime, you try and figure out your Plan B. Right now, I have no Plan B. Right now, I'm a pure ball of stress about this whole situation. Right now all I can think about is how fucked up this all is. Every kid at every school should have equal access to quality education and an enviroment conducive to learning. But that's not reality. Reality is camping out on a sidewalk in February in the hopes that your child has a shot at something they deserve and your tax dollars pay for.

Reality bites.

Last day of school.

Yesterday was The Geej's last day as a pre-kindergartener. What?! Howthehell did THAT happen?! (I know I'll be saying this over and over again as she passes milestones in her life, but seriously...)

As is customary with a lot of Montessori schools, The Geej's school has a ceremony at the end of each semester called the "Gates of Life" that symbolizes the children passing from one phase to another--whether it be from a pre-primary class to a primary class or on to "another community" (i.e., another school). I attended yesterday's Gates of Life ceremony because, although The Geej wasn't going through the (largely figurative) gates, 9 of her classmates were--9 little people who I've become quite fond of over the past two years.

Before the ceremony began, we were surprised by the arrival of Mariachis and the ensuing performance on the lawn. I mean, of COURSE there were Mariachis on the last day of school. This is Austin, after all.

Then we crowded into the (insanely hot) gym to watch the ceremonies. And y'all? I was a MESS!! I was a crying fool! And then I went with her class into the classroom where they had a special last-day-of-school "Circle Time" and they talked about the wonderful and unique attributes of each "graduate," and I cried some more. And I've got allergies. So you can only imagine the amount of tissues I went through. At one point I told the school's director, "I don't even want to know how much of a basket case I'm going to be this time next year when it's Geej's turn to graduate." And I'm serious. That school has been such a godsend, just like I knew it would be the first time I ever went there (after a holy crap! childcare/schooling crisis). The thought of her NOT going there to be in that loving, supportive, amazing environment makes my stomach hurt. And no, I DON'T yet know where she'll be attending first grade. It all depends on where we'll be living, and I'm hoping we'll sell our house and move (somewhere else in Austin) some time early next year. So yeah...

But for now, I can bask in the certainty that she's got another year to prosper, have fun, and grow at this wonderful place.

Conversations from the playground.

Geej: Maximus asked me if I have boobs. (Maximus is one of her admirers at school, and yes, that's his real name.)

Me: What did you tell him?

Geej: I told him that I have Barbie boobs.

Me: What are Barbie boobs?

Geej: You know...(shit-eating grin crosses her face). Big boobs. Like yours.

Me: Did you ask him if HE has boobs?

Geej: Yes. He said he has a tail.

It certainly doesn't FEEL like Christmas.

It's 74 degrees right now. I'm not complaining, mind you. It's lovely outside. But it's just hard to get into the yuletide spirit when you could be wearing shorts. I'm just sayin'...

After two nights of wrapping, ribboning, and labeling, our tree finally has presents under it. It looks so nice! And Earl's trying to find another favorite spot to rest his substantial chubbiness.

I've really only got one more item I've got to buy--for my mom--and then some little things for the stockings, and I'm DONE! I really can't believe it. It's been a pretty stress-free shopping season, thanks to the internet. Seriously. It's the working woman's best friend.

Let's see, since I haven't done a "real" post in a while, let me catch y'all up:

My first ever Christmas cookie making/decorating session started out well.

However, one whole pan of cookies got burnt.

Really burnt. And I don't know how it happened, either. They were on the same rack, in the same oven for the same amount of time as the other cookies (that did NOT get burnt, and were actually quite yummy). The pan must suck. I don't know, because I DON'T BAKE, and this is just one reason why.

We're going to try again on Christmas eve...you know, to make cookies for Santa. I heard Santa also enjoys martinis...

Something that worked out FAR better was Pajama Day last Friday at The Geej's school. They got to wear pajamas to school (duh) and make "gingerbread" houses and watch a holiday movie in the gym. The day was perfect for it--cold and drizzly. I was totally jealous. And Geej, being the candy FREAK that she is could barely wait to get home to start eating her house. She did a pretty nice job decorating. But that didn't stop her from chowing down on it. Last weekend was BH's work Christmas party. It was at one of their facilities near the cute little town of Mason, TX--about 2+ hours from Austin. The drive was nice, and once we were there, the property was lovely.Seems some rich old dude donated this 8,600 acre plot of land to BH's state agency about 10 years ago. Now its used for managed wildlife hunts, hence this sign. You'll be happy to know, we turned left, not right. Getting to meet BH's workmates was nice. They all seem like very nice, down-to-earth people--the exact kind of people you'd imagine working in land and wildlife conservation management.

Finally, I'll leave you with this recent discovery: When it's really chilly outside, Earl is not only a loving, sweet cat. He's also a warm fur stole!

Tres elegante!

More fun than a barrel of monkeys?

Today, Mr. Wonderful (who I shall henceforth refer to as BH, which are his initials) and I bravely accompanied The Geej and her entire class to The Austin Zoo for a field trip.

Let me start out by telling you that I am pretty creeped out and depressed by zoos in general. I know the keepers and zoologists do admirable work, but seeing animals in cages does not make me happy. I'd never been to the Austin Zoo due to this fact about myself, even though I know it's an "all rescue" zoo. So this was a first for both me and BH. However, The Geej had been there before with Dah.

Anyway, enough background.

I'd volunteered to drive myself and at least 2 young ones (in addition to the Geej), but instead I ended up actually riding in the passenger seat of another mom's car while Geej and this gal's son rode in the back.Poor BH had to ride with a father of one of Geej's classmates, this guy's son and two other four year-old boys. Yeah...I'm not sure he realized what he was getting himself into. (Apparently this dad was something of a douchebag, but I won't go into that right now.)

The weather was overcast and coolish, but not the least bit cold. We basically strolled the grounds of the zoo and checked out the animals at our own pace. My favorites? The marmosets and the tigers. BH also liked the marmosets. Geej? She was all about the cats, as in the two felis domesticus who roamed the grounds of the zoo. In fact, she declared most of the animals "Yuck" and proclaimed that "It's stinky" several times during our time a the zoo. What a diva. Her least favorite? The bears. She and Stephen Colbert would have a lot to talk about...

We took the train ride around the zoo, and she seemed to like that just fine.

Afterward, we had a picnic among the peacocks and...of course...the friendly zoo cats.

I think after this trip to the zoo, I finally deeply understand what the term, "Stoned as a goat" means. Seriously: Look at this dude's eyes. He's TOTALLY baked.

On the way back to school, Geej's back seat partner declared that he didn't want to play with her anymore when they got back to school because she's "so boring." Oh, okay, Mr. Excitement. Whatever you say. God. Kids can be such jerks.

Got back to school, and it was nap time, so BH and I made our exit.

All in all, a pretty fun time.

Hello, world!

The debut of Mortified Austin went very well. It sold out (which isn't saying much because the space only holds about 35 people, but still...), and all of the performers did very well. David Nadelberg, the author of the book, was there, and was super nice. And CUTE! I mean, based on the adolescent photo of him in the book, I never would've guessed it. We put the show on again in a couple of weeks, so if you didn't go this time, try to go next time...and get your tickets early, yo.

Saturday was the big fall cultural festival at The Geej's school. One part of it was a big cultural potluck where you're supposed to bring a dish that speaks of your heritage. Well, since my "heritage" is deep east Texas, I briefly considered bringing blackeyed peas and cornbread. But then I decided to go with something from The Geej's country of origin and found a recipe for "Russian Tea Cookies" on this Russian food site, and decided to make those instead. The recipe for "Veal Tongue in Aspic" was tempting, but I decided to stick with the cookies.

Let me disclose that I do not bake. I'm a pretty good cook, but baking is not my thing. Never has been. So the fact that I chose to make cookies FROM SCRATCH that were meant to be eaten by total strangers should send a slight shiver down your spine. Did I mention that each potluck dish had to have a label on it that said your name, the dish's name, country of origin, and ingredients? So yeah...it's not like I could be all anonymous if they sucked. And also? No "do overs." I found this recipe at 9:30am Saturday morning, and these suckers had to be cooked and at the festival by 3:00pm.

Luckily, they didn't. In fact, they were damn good if I do say so myself. Yeah, I took photos. But I was PROUD, y'all! My first cookies from scratch EVER, and they were pretty AND yummy. Then again, there were 4 STICKS OF BUTTER in these suckers...and powdered sugar, so really, how could they NOT be good?
The festival was really great in theory. The potluck was awesome, the silent auction had a lot of nice goodies that had been donated (I have yet to see if I won the yoga classes, acupuncture, massage session or microdermabrasion I bid on. Do you see a theme here?), the two moonwalks and face painting and balloon animal stations were a hit, the Mariachis were entertaining. However, the RAIN sucked. That's right: It was cloudy all day, and about 15 minutes before the festival was due to begin, it started to rain. Lightly at first, and then pretty steadily. I was working the entry table, and we were soaked. The moonwalk had to be shut down. Most of the potluck (except for the dessert tables, which were under tents) had to be hurriedly moved into one of the classrooms and everyone went scurrying for what little shelter there was. Bummer. Oh well... I hope they do something similar next fall, because really, it was pretty cool. Oh yeah: And the Geej won a HUGE cake in the cake walk. I'm serious--this thing is monstrous. We haven't even cut into it yet, so I have no idea what kind of cake it actually is.

Later, after the festival, we were going to go to a 40th birthday party for one of Mr. Wonderful's friends, but The Geej and I bowed out, and let Mr. W. go alone...and in peace.

Today, we all went to Southpark Meadows for lunch and to let Geej run off some of her energy on the awesome playscape. Then we came home, and Geej and I took a freakin THREE HOUR nap. I can't believe we were actually able to get her to sleep pretty easily tonight.

Now it's time to go watch America's Most Smartest Model, so I'll post more tomorrow. I swear.

Just a note to say...

...I'm alive, but this week is bustin' my balls.

Having to circle the wagons and deal with the fact that my small team is now down one person and we've got BIG deadlines and projects staring us in the face.

First day back to school with the Geej. She's in the "big kids class" now with one other three year old and the rest are four and five year olds. New teachers. New routines. No Daschel (he's there, and they get to see each other on the playground in the afternoon, but still). It's all a big adjustment.

The wandering Geej, who wakes me up 2 - 4 times a night for no reason whatsoever and then passionately promises me the next night when I'm putting her to bed that it won't happen again.

My hair's got 2 in. long roots.

My car's inspection sticker is about to expire AND it needs its 60k major bucks "tune up."

My neighbor to the back who shares a privacy fence with me, tore down about a 8 ft. section of it this week without even letting me know a) he was going to do it and b) when (or if) he plans on replacing it.

It's all taking its toll, people. I've got nothin' to give to you except for this:

Here he is sitting on my bathroom counter, purring his ass off and watching me get ready like he does every morning. Notice anything missing from this shot.?You know, like maybe his back feet?

Oh look, HERE they are! Hiding underneath this flap of pudge.

Notice, when I let the flap go, voila!

The feet are gone once more. Amazing.

Looks like Earl's got a serious case of "Dunlap Disease."

Dirty, dirty baby.

Those of you who've had kids in daycare know what I mean when I say, Daycare Funk. For those of you who don't: It's the layer of snot and dirt and tempra paint and dried yogurt that forms a thin but vibrant layer on your child when you pick him/her up that was not there when you dropped the pristine little prince/princess off around 8:30 that morning. Daycare Funk usually limits where you can "stop on the way home" unless of course you're planning on visiting a city dump or colony of homeless people living under an overpass on your way to la casa.

Today I go to pick up The Geej, and from a distance, damn she looks cute. The daycare workers have put her hair up in this teeny ponytail, slightly off center, and totally disarming. But then I get up close, and I see the crusty boogers in/around her nose, the dirt embedded beneath the fingernails on her filthy hands, and the tablespoons full of yogurt dried in her hair--which is apparently the reason for the ponytail to begin with because, without it, she looked like this:

So feast your eyes on the cutest Daycare Funk covered critter west of the Mississippi

Crusty but cute:

Seriously random.

Hooray! I got the latest "My Twinn" catalogue in the mail today. I'd been waiting for it for months!! Not really, of course. Those dolls creep me out. But it's totally something my mom would get for The Geej. I'm going to have to destroy this catalogue before she comes for another visit.

The Geej's daycare had their annual fundraiser Garage Sale today, and the deal was that, as a parent, you were obligated to either work a 3-hour shift or contribute $50 to the kitty. (Because the $795 a month I'm paying isn't enough, apparently.) On the sign up sheet, it asked "Will you need child care?" and of course I put, "Yes." Well, we show up for my 10am shift and, guess what, no child care. Apparently there wasn't enough interest (I'm the only single parent at this daycare), so they didn't have any. So I had to write them a check for $50 and leave. It would've been nice if they'd thought to tell me (and anyone else who'd put "yes" on the sign up sheet) YESTERDAY that they weren't going to provide child care. I detest shoddy communication and having my time wasted. Grrr...

Speaking of money, I got my long distance bill yesterday, and discovered that a 36 minute call I made to the Texpatriate in Norway cost me ninety fucking dollars. I knew it was going to be expensive, but $90?! I love you Texpatriate, but it's e-mail from now on.

I'm officially sick of summer. I hate August. And unfortunately, September usually isn't any less brutal, so I predict a 90% chance of a very cranky month ahead.

The Geej is really trying to walk, and it's sad because she really sucks at it. Did I say "sad?" I meant hilarious. She gets so excited when she stands up on her own, and then she tries to walk and--BAM--she's on her ass. The most steps she's managed to string together thus far is 3. But every great journey begins with...yadda yadda.

She's also turned into the kissing bandit. If it's not moving, she kisses it. Diapers (clean, of course), the sink, her classmates who can't crawl yet, and my poor old cat Ellen have all been recent victims of attacks by the kissing bandit. Her kisses are very exaggerated and accompanied by a big "myUH!" smacking noise. Pretty funny.

Did you watch the series finale of "Six Feet Under?" I was a big SFU fan, but am glad they ended the series before it seriously started to suck. In the last episode, the scene with Ruth and Brenda on the stairs made me weep. Some of the best writing/acting I've seen in a while. So subtle; so real. And I am totally obsessed with the song they played at the end as they did the flash forward to all the deaths while Claire drove across the desert. It's called "Breathe Me" and it's by a woman named Sia who has also sung with Zero 7 (who I love). I went to iTunes to download it and it was only available if you downloaded the ENTIRE SFU album, which I didn't want. But luckily, I have a friend who had an Astralwerks sampler with the song on it, and she e-mailed it to me. Fuck yeah. I love the Internet. So I've listened to it about 100 times now, and it never fails to make me misty. Good song.

What else...My house is disgusting. Now that I've been back at work for 3+ weeks, things have gotten really nasty around here. I simply have NO time to clean anything. And the time I do have to do it--between about 8:30 and 10:30 at night; after Geej goes to sleep and before I do--I'm always doing other things, like showering, laundry, paying bills, washing dishes, getting her food ready for school the next day, reading mail, etc. I came home from work at lunch time on Wednesday just so I could change the crib sheets, vaccuum, and get some stuff out of the garage for the daycare's garage sale--all things that would've been difficult or impossible to do with the baby in tow. My life is a study in drudgery.

Got to run. I think the baby picked up some cat litter off the nasty ass floor and is eating it.

Busy at work = Blog Neglect

So yeah. I've been a bit remiss at posting regularly on ye olde blog. It's just been a wacky couple of weeks. I've gotten really busy at work again (after a bit of a lag, during which I blogged on the clock), and then I've been up to my arse in errands and socializing after work, so the blog gets neglected. Sorry. Here's the latest haps:

• Still haven't heard anything about my Russian court date. The laws regarding international adoption were changed the week after Christmas (thanks, Putin!), and it remains to be seen how these new regulations may (or may not) affect those of us who are "already in the pipeline" so to speak. It's driving me insane not knowing. But one thing that COULD happen (and I'm praying to God it doesn't) is that it could delay everything an additional 90 days. Three months. I think, no wait, I KNOW I'll freak out if that happens.
• I've visited and gotten on the waiting list at 3 day cares. Since I don't know when I'll be going back to get the Geej, I have no idea really when she'll need to start daycare (roughly six or eight weeks after we get back from Russia...whenever that is). At any rate, I'm trying as best I can to get prepared. All three I visited were nice, but I liked the one at St. Luke's in Clarksville best. Not sure why, but I just liked the vibe. The sad thing is that when I go to these day cares, I almost always have to sit in my car and have a little bit of a cry afterward because being around all those adorable babies makes me miss MY baby so much it literally hurts. It's been a little over a month since I held that precious baby, and my heart just aches for her.
• I moved into a new office building, along with the rest of my team. It's different. Very corporate. Lots of "cube farms." I am in a cube for the first time in years, and it's taking some getting used to. But all in all it's fine. We do have a kick ass view from my floor (the 6th). It'll be a great place to watch the 4th of July fireworks over Town Lake.
• I've started rearranging the guest room to make room for The Geej--her crib, her clothes, etc. It's going to be a challenge, but I think I'll be able to fit everything she needs into the space. I just need to get creative with my storage situation. My WONDERFUL girl friends have already given me so many gently used baby clothes. It's really nuts. So many cute outfits, and all the basics to boot. I can't wait to dress her up in some of this stuff. She's going to be such a little cherub.
• Remember Mr. Mumbly that I wrote about in a previous post? Well, he's still hanging in there. But not in an "I'm a freaky stalker" way. He's really just a nice guy and he's said he's "in awe" of what I'm doing with the whole adoption thing. And he flat out said, "Just so you know, the idea of dating a single mom doesn't scare me." (Wow. Single mom. I can't believe that's what I'm about to be.) So who knows...
• I'm being given a baby shower tomorrow and then another one on Wednesday. Normally, I think baby showers are pretty awful. But I think mine's going to be fun--a bunch of my wine drinking friends and me. And since I'm not pregnant, I get to drink wine too! Yay wine!
• I'm sort of addicted to "Celebrity Fit Club" on VH-1. I know, I know...reality t.v. is so played and stupid. But there's something fascinating about watching Biz Markie and The Snapple Lady try to shed the pounds. And then they've got this big giant scales that they get in as a team at the end of each episode. So cheesy it's brilliant.
• It feels like spring outside. It's 72 degrees as I write this. Very bizarre for late January.

That's pretty much it. I'll try and be a more regular poster. But let's face it: sometimes a) life's pretty boring and there's not much to write about or b) life gets busy and you don't have time to write about it.