The Mama Bear Begins to Growl

First up, thanks for your comments and concern. I just sent this message to GJ's principal (identifiers redacted). We'll see what comes of it:

Hello Ms. PRINCIPAL,

First off, congrats on ELEMENTARY SCHOOL's recent "Exemplary" rating. I know how hard all of the teachers and students worked to acheive this recognition.

Second, I wanted to let you know about some concerns I have about my daughter GJ's current classroom situation.

GJ has always loved going to school. She's never been one to protest getting up and heading to class. She's been blessed with caring and skilled teachers all the way from her pre-K and kindergarten experiences (at a private Montessori school) through her first year at YOUR SCHOOL in Ms. 1ST GRADE TEACHER's class. She handled last year's transition from the Montessori environment to public school quite well and was very excited to start 2nd grade.

The open house visit with Ms. 2ND GRADE TEACHER went well. She was warm and friendly and her classroom seemed bright and organized. The whole time we were there, former students were stopping by to say hi and get a hug. I was very pleased to see this and had high hopes. However, when GJ got home from her first day of school, she said she'd felt "rushed" and that Ms. 2ND GRADE TEACHER "yelled at them a lot." As I probed a bit deeper to figure out what exactly she was talking about, she said that Ms. 2ND GRADE TEACHER didn't give her "time to think" and that all of the yelling was about "Do this! Finish this up!" and that it "gave her a headache." I explained to her that different teachers have different styles and that Mrs. 2ND GRADE TEACHER's style may just take some getting used to and that, especially at the beginning of a new school year, it's important that the teacher establish their classroom schedule and routine, which may be why she's feeling rushed. She seemed to understand, but the evening ended with her having a bedtime meltdown--an extremely rare occurrence at our house. She was very upset--crying and saying she didn't want to get yelled at. And, for the first time ever, she expressed fear and anxiety about going to school.

I worried that yesterday morning would be a battle, but it wasn't. She went to school without protest, but all of the enthusiasm that had been there on the first day of school had disappeared. Yesterday evening, she said that Ms. 2ND GRADE TEACHER yelled at the class again and that, at one point, she'd walked by GJ's desk while she was working, accidentally hitting her in the back of the head and then not saying she was sorry, even though she knew she'd done it.

I am not an alarmist parent. Like most 7 year old girls, GJ can be a bit dramatic, but she's not a liar. I am very worried about how this school year--with this teacher--has started out. It's one thing if a teacher has a loud voice and is boisterous--it's another thing if s/he actually yells at the students. Yelling is simply unacceptable in a second grade learning environment. Seeing GJ's excitement about second grade so quickly extinguished by her classroom environment is very upsetting to me.

I know Mrs. 2ND GRADE TEACHER is a veteran teacher at ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. Have other parents ever expressed worry about Mrs. 2ND GRADE TEACHER's approach before? If so, what were the repercussions? Do you have any advice for me and for GJ in this situation? Do you think you and I should meet--either with Mrs. 2ND GRADE TEACHER or one-on-one?

I appreciate your quick response to this email.

If you'd care to call me, my work number is XXX-XXXX and my cell phone is XXX-XXXX.

Thank you,
Pine Curtain Refugee

Pajamas are NOT the new black, damnit!!

DISCLAIMER: I am by NO means a perfect mother. I do not believe there is such a thing. I am, however, a mother who tries to give my kids what they need from me. Am I always successful? No. Do I keep trying? Yes.

Ever since The Geej started first grade at her new school, one of the things that has fascinated me is checking out the other parents. Are they younger than me? Older? What kind of jobs does it look like they have? White collar? Blue collar? Stay-at-home parent? How many kids do they have? Does the mother usually bring the child to school, or the father? What do they drive? Do they speak English? Etc. I do this not in a judgemental way, but more of a where-do-I-fit-in-to-this-spectrum kind of a way because this whole AISD public school thing is still new to me.

From my casually interested observations, I have surmised that, as I suspected, our elementary school is a mixed bag. It's about 45% Hispanic, 35% Caucasian, and 20% African American. The socio-economic norm is solidly middle class, with about 10% falling below that classification and another 10% falling slightly above it. The parents are mostly younger than me: in their late 20s to late 30s, and it is the overwhelmingly the moms who bring their children to school.

But no matter what our demographics, we all have to get our progeny to school before the dreaded "second bell" that rings at 7:40am or else they will be counted--GASP--tardy. It is preferable to have them in the cafetorium (GOD, I love that word) for morning assembly at least a bit ahead of that time however, so I always shoot for us to arrive between 7:30 and 7:35am. 90% of the time, I park, get out, and walk The Geej in. This is our preferred method of arriving at school. There are some mornings though when dropping her at the sidewalk (next to the 5th grader "Safety Patrol" kids who open car doors and sort of help direct traffic) is what makes more sense, either because we've caught more red lights than ususal on the way to school or because she's asked to ride to school with the convertible's top down.

Now, let me admit that this whole getting-to-school-at-the-asscrack-of-dawn thing was one of my BIGGEST concerns with the Geej's starting first grade. Why? Well, anyone who knows me knows that I am not (nor have I ever remotely been) a morning person. At all. Never ever. I mean, getting us to school by 8:50am used to be a big challenge for me while she was at Montessori, so you can understand why the mere idea of having to be at school well before the 7:40am tardy bell sort of freaked me out. Amazingly, it has been a rather pain-free adjustment, and no one is more surprised than me. I'm not going to lie and say I wouldn't LOVE to have at least 3 more hours of sleep every morning, because I sure as Hell would. But--aside from a few very close calls--we've not been tardy this school year. Not even once. And the added bonus for me is that a) I usually beat the worst of the rush hour traffic on my way to work, b) I always find a parking place in our crowded parking garage, and c) I've got about an hour of pure silence at work before all of the stragglers start showing up around 9:00am. So, yay!! Adjustment made. Life is good.

Which may begin to explain why the following drives me so damn crazy:

There is this woman--she appears to be in her early- to mid-thirties--who is the (I think, single) mother of a young girl at The Geej's school. This little girl is probably in kindergarten, first grade at the most. They literally live across the street from the school. Their front door is probably 50 yards from the door to the goddamned cafetorium, and yet... And yet this mother is always trudging across the street well after the tardy bell, dragging her daughter behind her, frustrated and saying, "Hurry! We're late!".

This mother wears pajamas and house shoes to walk her daughter in to the school. This mother does not wear a bra. This mother has substantial tah-tahs that could REALLY use a bra. And whenever I see this, it PISSES ME OFF in a highly irrational way.

Maybe (and probably) some of the being chronically late is the daughter's fault. She's hard to wake up. Or she screws around and plays with her Lucky Charms instead of eathing them. She is, after all, only five or six years old. But as her mother, this woman KNOWS that each morning will present these issues, but she still can't be bothered to get up, I don't know, maybe 15 or 20 minutes earlier than she currently does in order to create some "contingency time" and perhaps even put on some actual clothes and some appropriate undergarments and get her daughter to school on time?! You know, act like she actually gives a shit and try to set some sort of an example for her daughter instead of utterly phoning it in and doing what appears to be the bare minimum? (After all, her "commute" to school takes all of 3 minutes--and that's including hugging and kissing good-bye time.)

I'm telling you, this bothers me waaaaaaaaaaaay more than it should. Feel free to bash me for being a self-righteous twat, but I can't help but think that if I, the most non-morning person/sleep-loving individual you will ever meet in your entire lifetime can manage to consistently squeak in before the tardy bell (all while wearing Actual Clothes), really, anyone can.

Things that suck/Things that don't suck (revisited)

It's been quite a while since I've done one of these lists, so I figured I should provide an update:

Things that suck:

• The fact that I got a letter from AISD today saying that The Geej did NOT, in fact, get in to the school I put her transfer paperwork in for despite my full and enthusiastic participation in AISDarmageddon. Damnit!!
• My garage door opener is broken.
• Lots and lots and lots of medical bills arriving in the mailbox. All at once.
• Being absolutely unable to find a neutralish paint color I like to repaint The Geej's room, guest room and laundry room. Why is this so hard?
• Didn't sleep worth a damn last night--tossing, turning, coughing, sweating. Poor BH.
• My pitiful looking fingernails/toenails that are SCREAMING for a mani/pedi.
• Attending meetings via conference call.
• My cat Doug, who I swear is 1/2 rooster, waking us up at 5:30am with his pathetic meows simply because he wants attention.
• That, once again, I'm going to pretty much miss 100% of SXSW, except of course for all of the hiptards populating the Whole Foods downtown for the next week or so.

Things that DON'T suck:

• How hot BH looks in his official Texas Parks and Wildlife gear. Meow!
• Dinner cooking in the slow cooker all day long.
• I've got a tour planned tomorrow afternoon with the principal of another school that looks good (on paper) and that will hopefully feel right for The Geej. If not, we'll have to implement Plan C, which will be a pretty hefty financial hardship for us.
• This INSANELY beautiful weather!!
• All of the trees/flowers/bulbs are starting to bloom, and we should have a GORGEOUS wildflower season due to all the rain we got over the winter.
• I made it through today without a nap!
• Regaining the ability to sleep on my side without major neck discomfort.
• Tony, the friendly neighborhood cat. (I need to get a picture of him so I can post it. He's so damn cool.)
• The fact that La Turista is SHAVING HER DANG HEAD, live on t.v. next Wednesday morning!!
• Two weeks from today, BH and I will be at the beach. By ourselves.

AISDamageddon.

Photos from the end of the world/the AISD HQ parking garage last night.

People brought cots and tents. People got cozy.

I managed to stay pretty warm, and eventually slept for a couple of hours in my sleeping bag on the ground.

There were some pretty epic snorers. There were people there with their kids. One (single) mom was there with her 4 kids, including a toddler and a baby.

And there were people who talked. All. Night.

My line neighbors were nice/non-annoying people.

And after 14 hours of waiting, when they finally opened up the doors and started taking the forms, the whole "transaction" took a grand total of 15 seconds. I ended up being the 75th form they took. There were 11 people in front of me going for the same elementary school I want The Geej in, but I'm hoping and praying they were all going for the kindergarten slots. I won't know anything about whether or not the transfer was accepted until late March at the earliest. In th meantime, we'll try and come up with a Plan B.

I've got some thoughts on how they could make this process better, and I'll be sending those to the AISD school board, because this process? Sucks.