A Perfect Storm

Today I was catching up on a blog I enjoy, and the post I was reading was mostly photos of a camelia bush...a bird's nest...and some amazingly bright blue robin's eggs in the nest. So simple and perfect. So gorgeous and symbolic of spring. And suddenly, I started crying.

It was kind of like yesterday when I drove myself home early from work in a weird mental haze, feeling drugged without actually being drugged. It was all I could do to drag myself into the house and to the bed, utterly fatigued and unhinged and crying and apologizing to BH for being such a mess.

I'd figured out at some point yesterday that this horrible feeling was very familiar--it's exactly like I'd felt after I got my thyroid removed and before I'd started my synthetic hormone replacement. I called my endocrinologist and told them what was going on, and now I've got to go get blood work done to see if I need my meds adjusted. If my thyroid levels come back within normal range, I guess we'll just chalk all of this up to me being nuts, which would be a surprise to exactly no one.

So combine this weird hypothyrodism bullshit with the whole root canal drama from last week (that continues tomorrow with Part Two of my dental appointment), the fact that I busted the FUCK out of my arm by falling into my nightstand last Thursday night when I got out of bed in the middle of the night to go pee (I mean, y'all should SEE my arm...it's sick), all of the weird shit going on at home, and the fact that I have to go to fucking JURY DUTY next week when I am waaaaaaaaaay too busy to be out of the office right now, and I am one gigantic ball of stress.

Blech.

But lest you think that I am all gloom and doom these days, there are good things going on too:

Got to spend some quality time with some of my favorite people this past weekend--my friends Josh, Michelle, and their daughter Ruby who were visiting from Portland, OR. We ate vegan treats and swam in the river. The Geej and Ruby played and had a blast. It was wonderful.

Throwing rocks.

The Pedernales

I get to see my friend Stacy (from Atlanta) in San Antonio in a couple of weekends. I'll be staying in a hotel! By myself!! Whoot!

I got tickets to see Nick Offerman (a.k.a. Ron Swanson) during the Moontower Comedy Festival.

I'm also going to see Jeff Mangum, mastermind behind one of my favorite albums of all time: Neutral Milk Hotel's "In An Aeroplane Over the Sea."

Work is rocking. I'm busier and happier than I've been in a long time, and the team I'm on is amazing.

So you know, there's that stuff...

So Very Much.

Been dealing with a dear friend's serious illness and hospitalization for the past couple of weeks. Her situation is serious and chronic and it breaks my heart. I fear for her and her family. I am hopeful but scared. I want everything to be "normal" again but don't now if it ever will be. During her hospitalization, I've been amazed by our close group of female friends. How they've all stepped up and responded. We are a shadow family. During times like this, we come out of the shadows.

Went to the funeral of another friend's father on Monday. She lost her mother to breast cancer in 2001. And now her father is dead. She is my age.

A third friend is being challenged for shared custody of her son by the boy's mentally ill, ex-con, chemically dependent father. This "man" doesn't give a shit abut his son. What he does care about is holding my friend emotionally hostage, which he has done over and over again for many years. She is stronger than she has been in the past and will get through this. No judge in his right mind would allow this man shared custody of this little boy. Eventually, karma will catch up with this sick bastard and he'll get his. But watching my friend have to go through this bullshit and knowing the dear, amazing child at the center of this who has done nothing to deserve this jackass as his dad, punches me right in the gut.

The Geej got her report card last week. She made A/B honor roll. She was proud. I am proud. I want her to value her brain as much as she values sparkly clothes and brushing her hair. I don't know that she ever will. But then again, she's only six.

Work is ver busy with big things and small, but I am having trouble focusing. My mind is flying away. I foresee many late nights of catch up in my near future.

BH got accepted into a special wildlife certification program with his work. It brings together two things--birds and Texas prairie habitat--that he is very interested in and knowlegable about. He is excited. I am excited for him.

I got accepted into one of the three* summer writing programs that I applied for. The one in Oregon. In July. For eight days. I got registered for the program yesterday, and got the workshop and instructor I was hoping for. I cannot begin to describe how thrilled I am about this. Every single time I think about it, I get butterflies. I discovered a friend-of-a-friend on Facebook from Austin who is ALSO going to the same program. We've been emailing, and she seems way cool and interesting. We're meeting for lunch next week.

*I ended up applying to a 3rd program I found out about by a fluke. It's in Arkansas. Not sure if I got accepted into it yet. If I do, it will be an honor. But I'll decline. I'm going to Portland.

Outside, it is a cool spring morning. The raised beds that BH built in the back yard are planted with tomatoes, garlic chives, basil, yellow squash, eggplant, cucumber, Anaheim chili peppers, cilantro, sugar snap peas and an artichoke. We are also growing oregano, Italian parsley and blackberries. Every day I check the progress of the growth of these plants. Right now, however, they are just sprouts with promise.

So very much, my friends. So very much.

How do I love her? Let me count the ways.

I have a friend named Thelma Jane. I've known her since the early 90s, and she is one of my favorite people on the planet.

The circumstances of our meeting are pretty funny. We were both hired at the same time to be the first Austin-based employees of a family-owned temporary employment company based out of San Antonio with a satellite office in Houston. They were a small company looking to expand, and they hired the two of us to establish their business in Austin. We were unexperienced, underpaid and unsupervised. For the several months we worked there we, quite literally, did nothing. We would drink beers at work and just generally fuck around. I even brought a pillow to work that I kept under my desk for impromptu afternoon naps. We were the epitome of early-90s Gen X Austin Slackerness. But oh my GOD, we had fun. And the best part of it all is that we got to meet one another and became fast friends.

Here are just some of the reasons I adore TJ to the very core of my being:

She can make me laugh to tears faster than almost anyone.
She introduced me to the music of The Beastie Boys.
She knitted a beautiful shawl out of yarn made from the fur of her dogs that she collected for YEARS.
She's crafty (see above).
She'll stop on the side of the road in Louisiana to buy $3 work pants from a dude selling them out of his truck.
She'll do anything for a friend, including coming over in the middle of the night to keep the friend from hitting rock bottom soon after the friend had been left by her husband.
She plays the drums.
She likes all kinds of music--especially the RAWK.
She's adventurous.
She's strong as shit.
She one time put on roller skates and let her dogs pull her from her house to mine while smoking a handrolled cigarette.
She had a pink bong named Barbie.
She rocks a minivan.
She used to write me letters when I moved away.
She switched clothes with me in the bathroom at Emo's during the Dumpster Juice show at SXSW many moons (and many pounds) ago.
She took a voice class with me so we could sing harmony together.
She once rode all over town so we could hang up "Free Baby Bunnies! Just In Time For Easter" fliers we'd made to fuck with a dude who'd done me wrong. (Long story.)
She's a really good mother.
She's the only person who I've hiked to the top of Enchanted Rock with.
BH gets a kick out of her.
She makes great lemon bars.
She teaches mentally handicapped teenagers vocational skills, which requires a level of patience and understanding that I can only dream about having.
She is utterly and completely unique. They broke the mold when Thelma Jane was born.

Thank you, Universe, for throwing Thelma and me together in that crappy job nearly twenty years ago. That gal's a keeper.

I shouldn't blog when I'm cranky.

But I'm going to. And you'd better not try to stop me. Damnit.

Oh, where to start, people...

I guess I'll start with the weather, because that's lame. But yes, it's already titty-sweat hot here in the Heart O' Texas. Yeah, I said it. I am sticky 90% of the day because of the 90% humidity. GRUMPY!!

Next, I got the city/county tax appraisal thing for my house, which went up the annual maximum despite the fact that the actual amount I'd be able to sell my house for is in the toilet thanks to the economy. Oh yeah, and I also need to immediately pay a $600 from my escrow account because they misunderestimated my taxes last year. Yes I know that's grammatically incorrect. Shut up. CRANKY!!

I have a theory about los ninos: Odd numbered years*: suck. Case in point: The Geej at age two? Such a joy. Easy. Happy. Totally blew that whole "Terrible Twos" myth out of the water. Age three:. She was 49% angel, 51% sassy-ass demon spawn. It wasn't fun. Four has been a hilarious, wonderful dream. But five is looming on the very near horizon, and girlfriend is showing signs of the Odd Year-ed Demon, and I'm not loving it. ANNOYING!!

*Age one doesn't count because even though they can be frustrating, they're one, and you get like a billion extra cuteness points when you're one. But nearly five? Notsomuch.

Will someone PLEASE tell me why, all of the sudden, after MONTHS of perfect litter box behavior, one of my damn cats has decided to just barely miss the litter box about 3/4 of the time. Seriously? You can't get your little cat ass all the way into the litter box to deposit your foul leavings within the confines of the damn box? Really? DEATH!!!

City elections. I went to vote on Saturday, and here was the scene at my polling place: Only one parking place (besides the one I took) had a car in it. Tumbleweeds were blowing around.** Walked in, and there were barely animated corpses working behind the registration tables and voting machine instruction stands. I'm serious!! ZOMBIES!! I voted (it took all of 1 minute for the whole thing to go down) and walked to my car. As I made my way across the empty parking lot, a lone coyote howled forlornly in the distance.***

**This is a slight exaggeration.
***Again, artistic license is at play here. PLEASE NOTE: There is no note about the ZOMBIES, and that's because, I'm fairly convinced that the individuals working there were, in fact, the Undead.

I finished a book last week that had taken me forever to read. I am not a slow reader, but usually my only time to read is right at bed time, so I get 5 - 7 pages done, and then I'm falling asleep. I don't care how great whatever I'm reading may be. So I finally finish this book I've been reading since February, and I go out to our rather eclectic book collection and grab something that I'd bought a while back and am psyched to read. I lie down, ready to get started on my new book and DAMNITTOHELL I realize I've already freakin' read it. DISAPPOINTING!!

Whew. Wow...okay. I think I'm better now. Thanks for letting me vent. I thought the top of my skull was gonna blow off there for a minute. Now for some stuff that's NOT making my stabby:

I love succulents. Cactus especially. So one of my favorite things about my workplace is the AMAZING collection of prickly pear cactus that grows on the "Plaza Level." This time of year, if the recent rains have been adequate, they go nuts with TONS of blooms. Here's a picture from the end of last week:

Today, they were even prettier (but I didn't have my camera with me)).

Went to another kid's b-day party this weekend. Thankfully, this one wasn't at a nightclub where the bathroom smelled like vomit. It was actually very fun, and the kiddos went nuts and bounced around in bouncy houses and ate cake and did all the stuff you're supposed to do at a b-day party for the wee ones. And would you please look at The Geej and Annie-O in this photo? All I had to do was say, "Girls...picture!" and it was like instant Phototech*.*If you know what I'm talking about, then you're my people.

And just in case you were wondering: Yes, Anderson still likes birthday cake.After the kiddo party, it was time for a birthday celebration for a grown up friend--my friend Erin. It was way fun and I got to chat and hang out with friends I don't get to see much anymore (unless it's on freakin' F*cebook). I have a few pictures, but the only one I'm really wondering about is this one:
This was a sculpture in the pool cabana where the party was sort of centered. It fills me with so many questions...

Finally, Mother's Day.

I gotta say, I am blessed to know some of the coolest, most skillful, wisest, loveliest, most amazing mothers ever. I learn from them each and every day, and I would sometimes be an utter and complete basket case without them. So even though it's a day late and a dollar short: Happy Mother's Day to you wonderful women. You know who you are.

My Mother's Day? I got to sleep in (until 9:30!), and then got taken to brunch here. I recommend it. My gifts were so awesome, that I hesitate to post photos, for fear your eyes may explode in your skull due to the pure coolness. But here you go:

From The Geej:
Paint-by-number-freakin'-kittens, people!! If you know me even a little bit, then you know how much I love this. She said that BH "helped her a little." All I know is that this is so great, I can't stand it.

From BH:

Whilst at the craft store, BH was inspired by a clock-making kit, and this is the result:
Can you even BELIEVE how awesomely horrible this thing is?! I nearly peed myself when he gave it to me. And if you've ever watched "The Tim & Eric Awesome Show: Great Job!," you'll understand why I think it's so funny. It's totally going to work with me and hanging in my modular work station.****

****cube

So that's it until tomorrow. By the way, tomorrow is officially the beginning of the FUNNEST WEEK EVER (r)!! Details to come.

This one's for Lisa.

What You Are
by Audioslave

When you wanted me i came to you
When you wanted someone else i lived through
When you asked for that i set myself on fire
And if i go
Far away
I know you'll find another slave

cause now i'm freed
from what you want
now i'm free
from what you need
now i'm free
from what you are

when you wanted love i cut my veins
and when you wanted love i bled myself again
now all i've had i still love you
i'd give you up forever
and here i go
far away
i know you you'll find another slave

cause now i'm free
from what you are
now i'm free
from what you need
now i'm free
from what you are

then a vision came to me
when you came along i gave you everything
but then you wanted more

cause now i'm free
from what you want
now i'm free
from what you need
now i'm free
from what you are
hey
now i'm free
from what you want
now i'm freed
from what you need
now im free

You are one of the strongest people I know, and you will survive this. You never deserved all the pain and all the drama. But you win: you ended up with the most precious prize there is. A prize he never deserved. I have been where you are right now. I love you and wish I could really be there to hug you and tell you how wonderful you are.

Things I've done in the past week (bullet pointed edition and in no particular order)

• Bought, loaded up, and quickly fell in love with my 120GB iPod (after my old 40GB one bit the dust)
• Went with BH to get our marriage license
• Endured a bit stink at work over a project I worked on and worried if I might get canned
• Felt grateful that I rarely delete my e-mails because I had an e-mail trail that exonerated me from the big stink
• Realized that my digital camera is very broken and that getting it repaired would cost almost as much as getting a new one
• Got my oil changed for the first time since buying my car in April. Apparently these new Hondas only require an oil change every 7,000 miles/6 months. Bargain!
• Bought a bustier at the shee-shee lingere store in order to ensure my girls are boosted to maximum boobocity during my nuptials
• Settled up my final $795 with the vet's office. After $5,000+, I end up with ashes and a paw print. Sigh.
• Rocked the vote.
• Picked up my wedding dress from the seamstress.
• Spent about $235 at Costco on food and booze.
• Had the most fun bachelorette weekend EVER with my girls at a rented lakehouse.
• Ate way too much of the Costco food and drank too much of the Costco booze during said weekend.
• Laughed so much and so hard that my guts hurt for days.
• Got a bunch of mystery bruises.
• Had a robot dance-off with Thelma Jane.
• Sang my ASS off at Rock Band and American Idol for Wii.
• Witnessed Lindsay's superior Rock Band guitar skills.
• Discovered that I have a new found respect for Dennis DeYoung AND that I never knew the words were actually, "Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me lads."
• Decided I really want a Wii.
• Finally finished this. Ordered this.
• Made pasta with the fresh pesto that Julie made for the bachelorette party but that we never ate.
• Saw lots of deer a ton of butterflies and a gray fox.
• Saw lots of McCain/Palin signs on the way to the lakehouse.
• Discovered that The Geej can sing harmony, no problem.
• Witnessed an impromptu performance of a number from "Godspell" that included tambourines.
• Made reservations at a crazy expensive restaurant for dinner during our honeymoon.
• Started stressing about packing for the honeymoon.
• Saw deer in my neighborhood.
• Learned that I shouldn't send out negative energy into the universe, and how I should, instead, visualize a happy world.
• Learned about the Hugh Hefner/Paper Maiche connection.
• Made a much needed mani-pedi appointment.
• Worked my ARSE off in order to have a few blissful days away from work.
• Caught up on Badger's blog and realized she seriously hurt her damn foot.
• Neglected this blog.
• Tried to make it up to my tens of readers by doing a lame bulletpointed post.